Birthday Fun

A few years ago we started letting P decide what he wants to do to celebrate his birthday in leiu of a big birthday present (Don't worry. He does get a small gift.). This year he really wanted to be at my parents' for his actual birthday but he wanted to celebrate beforehand with his best friend. He wanted his friend to spend the night and then spend the day at the aquarium. So the birthday fun started Thursday evening with ice cream for dinner followed by a little fishing/boat ride/gator "hunting". It was fun to watch the boys because they loved going fast in the boat and seeing the gators up close. The boat time must've worn them out, though, because they went to the sleep a lot earlier than I expected. Yesterday we awoke, got donuts for breakfast (I promise that I feed my boys healthy meals more than I do junk food.) and then headed to the aquarium. P's best friend had never been to the aquarium before so, just like the night before, it was fun to watch the boys. P took pride in showing his friend around the aquarium and then they bought friendship shark tooth necklaces to remember the trip by. If that wasn't enough, P really wanted Chick Fil A for lunch so we ended the birthday fun there. I'm always a big fan of birthday celebrations lasting longer than a day so I'm glad P gets to have that same fun and know how loved he is!

Growing Up is a Hard Thing

They say if you repeat the same thing that after 21 days it becomes a habit. Well, for 2 1/2 years E has referred to his big brother as "Bubba". We all took to that nickname and made it his "go to" name. Now in the blink of an eye, E calls him by his first name (albeit without the "r"). For 3 1/2 years I've dressed and undressed E every day of his life. Now, in the blink of an eye, he can change himself independently. For 2 years he's sat in a booster seat at the table for meal times. Now in the blink of an eye he no longer wants to sit in one because it's a "baby chair". He wants to grow up so fast and I, being selfish, want time to stand still. He has become so independent and when I tried to help him with something the other day he said, "Mom, I do it." To which I replied, "Sometimes it's nice to know you still need my help." One boy is turning 7 and the other acts as old, meaning both are needing me less and less. Yes, they still need me to bandage scrapes, tie shoes, do laundry and fix meals. But they no longer need me for the little things such as taking a bath or brushing teeth or getting them a snack. It's bittersweet to see the fruits of our labor flourish, making our boys more independent. But, on the other hand, it breaks my heart to see them growing up right before our eyes. I want to forever shield them from the world, making them stay young a lot longer than possible. As a parent, growing up is hard to do!

Anniversary Get Away

I won't post any more sappy anniversary posts but, thanks to my parents, my in-laws and our neighbor, we had such an awesome weekend of fishing, relaxing and eating delicious food! TN has become my favorite state (along with CO) so I love taking trips there. I loved sitting on the cabin porch in the evenings, watching fireflies, listening to the coyotes howl and seeing deer run around. I loved fishing during the day- watching deer drink water from the lake, birds flying overhead with fish in their mouth, not seeing any alligators and seeing the beautifully stunning lake houses. It was a perfect weekend and I am so thankful that Rob and I got to get away to enjoy each other.

Little Lane

I want to climb up on my soapbox but I don't know if I can. I am weary, emotional and sleep deprived. Yes, some of it is from Rob's crazy work schedule this week but most of it is because of Orlando. Sadly, I have become desensitized to the horrors of our fallen world. Amber alerts? I glance at them. Nightclub shootings? I say a quick prayer and then move on. But when I saw the news about the 2 year old that was pulled into the Disney lagoon by an alligator, my world came to a screeching halt. I have been praying for the family, not able to imagine their nightmare, their new life so to speak. I tried to put myself in their shoes...saving up for a big family vacation, the childrens' first plane ride, staying in a nice hotel and then the magic of Disney itself. Watching a movie, wading in the water, making memories as a family while you wait for the nightly outdoor movie to begin and then in a split second their whole world gets turned upside down. Now Disney brings nightmares instead of joyful magic. The plane ride home is somber instead of full of childish excitement. Instead of deciding what ride to go on next you're deciding what coffin to put your small child in, a child who hasn't even experienced life yet. I can't even imagine.
And here's my soapbox if you will.....the parent shamers. The ones who say, "Weren't you watching your child?", "How could you let this happen?" Instead of people having empathy, trying to imagine what it'd be like to try to pry your child out of a wild animal's jaws, finding out your child drowned a mere 10-15 feet from where you were playing less than 24 hours before, they point fingers. They make a nightmare even more unimaginable by casting blame because it's easy to do when you're sitting at a keyboard, when you've never buried your child because of an ACCIDENT. I even read where someone said, "How can you let your child go in water where alligators are?" Really? The 2 yr old was WADING in water less than 6 inches deep. It wasn't like he had gone for a swim in the lagoon. This could happen anywhere, under different circumstances, with different animals. In our old neighborhood there was a rumor that a coyote had dragged a small child away from its home and the child was never found. All because a parent let his/her child play in the front yard. Accidents happen. It doesn't give anyone the right to shame another parent. The parents need to know that they are loved and covered in prayer even if people don't personally know them. They need to have support while laying their little boy to rest. So, people stop the shaming. Grow up! And as the old saying goes that was once taught by parents all over the world, "If you don't have something nice to say then don't say it at all."

Preschool Fisherman

I hope I never forget two things about these years with E.....his obsession with his ears, gum, his cowboy boots... and his even bigger obsession with fishing. Ever since he could walk, he's enjoyed fishing. He won't sit to watch a half hour cartoon but you better believe that if Rob is watching a fishing show, E will crawl up on his lap and watch the show in it's entirety, asking Rob questions about it. He asks to fish almost every day and can cast a line better than me. Earlier this week Rob took the boys to the pond, where they caught baby catfish. E could've sat there for hours, watching the small fish swim around in the even smaller aquarium. The day before last, Rob was helping E and accidentally broke his fishing rod. E has become obsessed with getting a new rod and asks about getting one several times a day! Yesterday he had some consolation. He found a small tackle box full of baits and that's all he's played with ever since his discovery. He talks to the lures, plays with the bobbers and organizes the tackle box. I guess if he can't fish at the moment then it's the next best thing. I often wonder what our boys will be when they grow up and I wouldn't be surprised if E chose to be a professional angler. It's an obsession I hope he enjoys for a lifetime!

8 Years...WHAT??!

In 2 days we will be celebrating our 8th anniversary, the second anniversary that I'm truly happy to be celebrating. Let's back up to the beginning. I've always loved reading romance novels. I love how cheesy they are and how they are my escape from reality. But when I met Rob I thought he was just like one of the characters in my beloved books. He wrote me long love letters, compiled CDs filled with love songs, sent me roses every month, bought me anything and everything. I had seen friends with marital problems but I knew that we'd be different. And we were....until our 2nd anniversary. Right after it, we celebrated P's 2nd birthday. I remember being so mad at Rob the day of P's birthday party that I thought I could spit nails. But now, 6 years later, I realized that we both handled the situation/the day in general wrong. It's a day I think of often, knowing I have learned so much since then. The funny thing is that around every anniversary something goes south with us....either literally or figuratively. Every year I stand in the card aisle, struggling to find an anniversary card that conveys what I'm feeling. This year is not like that. This year will be easy because, although this year has been a struggle (see the post below for more details), it's also been such a growing year. The change, other than putting God first? We've learned how to communicate better than we ever have. Instead of arguing, we discuss. We let the other into our day, our life. So this year I am beyond thrilled to celebrate our love, celebrate our growth, celebrate our learning experiences throughout our marriage, celebrate that God has blessed us in so many ways!
Oh, and in case you're wondering, the other anniversary I was excited for was our 1st one. Rob went above and beyond to make it special. But I have no doubt that this one will be even more special because of all that it means, all that we're celebrating.

Our Testimony

This morning I have felt so compelled to share our testimony. It's not our anniversary (for a couple weeks at least) but I've had it on my heart to tell you our story.
In two weeks we will celebrate our 8th anniversary but for awhile I didn't think we were going to make that anniversary...at least not together. This year has been hard, the hardest we've ever endured together. For months we fought...constantly. Literally. Not an hour would pass without an argument unless we were living in silence. In fact, we would both dread 4:45 because it meant Rob would be coming home from work. It meant hours of silence or arguing, co-existing so to speak. Weekends were the worst and we'd both be happy if he got called out because it meant time away from each other.
 I was in a women's Bible Study called "The Power of the Praying Wife" but to be honest I was praying for all the wrong things. The leader recently told me that I had a good poker face because I never trash talked Rob or revealed anything about our marital problems but inside I was a broken wreck. I was done with our marriage and so was Rob. I called a divorce attorney earlier this year, told Rob I was done and made plans on how to move on with life as a divorcee. Then Rob informed me that he wasn't willing to get divorced until we'd exhausted all our options for salvaging our marriage. In a moment of desperation, I called our friend in TN and asked for his pastoral wisdom and guidance. He gave me a few people here in BR to talk to but I was reluctant to call any of them. Rob and I discussed it a little more and decided it was our only option if we wanted to salvage our marriage. Well, that and praying of course.
Fast forward to today, June 1, 2016. After months of heartache, tears, angry words, late night discussions, sleepless nights, Christian guidance, lots of prayer, and of course God being put at the center of marriage I am happy to say that we are in the best place we've ever been in in our marriage. For the first time in our marriage, we are a TEAM. We discuss everything, can't wait to spend time together, do family activities on the weekends, do weekly family devotions, take family walks or go fishing in the evenings, are more involved with our church than ever and are HAPPY! A couple nights ago, Rob and I were trying to figure out the last time we argued about anything. We couldn't remember because all we do is laugh, talk and cuddle. We make memories and work hard at making our marriage the best it can be. Now I look forward to 4:45 and I was thrilled to have a long weekend with Rob this past weekend- 4 days together to hang out together.
I woke up to the sweetest email from Rob this morning, stating he was wide awake at 2am. Not because of stress or worry but because he's so high on life right now. A few months ago we were wide awake (in separate beds) all hours of the night because we were both miserable. It's truly amazing how prayer, Christian guidance, an excellent support system, communication and perseverance can heal a broken marriage. They say that storms can make it or break it, and I am so incredibly happy to tell you that our storm has made us strong, much stronger than ever! We are so blessed and it took all of the heartache to realize just how blessed we are- God gave us each other and He gave us 2 wonderful boys to complete our family. To God be the glory for restoring our marriage and our love for each other!