Your Legacy

If you know me, you know I dwell on things. Some might say I over-analyze things. But, I guess that's what I've been doing the past several days. I keep dwelling on, "What will your legacy be when you die?" Morbid I know. But, I think about it in how I LIVE my life currently. One of my pet peeves is when someone dies, people start talking about what a great person the deceased was despite that they were an alcoholic or had affairs or stole or had anger issues or was unreliable. Obviously, when I pass away, I hope people have long since forgotten my snarky tone (the thing I seem to always be working on but never improve) and instead remember me as someone who was quick to love but slow to anger, someone who made others (even strangers) feel valued. 

Our pastor's message this morning was about griping. And I admit, I can be a griper (especially during the school year). But, the past year or so, I've constantly asked myself, "Is that important?" or "Will this be something that matters in 10 years?" If it's not, I either choose to let it go or try to address it and then let it go (so I don't dwell on it). Too many people these days get angry or gripe over dumb things. Things that won't matter in 10 years. BUT,maybe what they don't realize, is how they will be remembered in how they dealt with it. Let's take road rage for instance. I very rarely get riled up when I'm driving because it's not worth it to me. The way I see it is I can either get somewhere a few minutes later than planned or if I rage someone may pull a gun on me or the boys over a driving issue. I'd much rather arrive a little late than not at all. Several months ago a guy pulled into a parking spot I had used my turn signal for, that I was waiting for, in the Kroger parking lot. I was hot! I waited for him at the entrance of the store to give him a piece of my mind and his response was, "It's not that big of a deal. Get over it." I was mad because of the principle of the matter, of how he made me feel. But, then I realized that I let him win by festering about it when he had obviously already moved on. This year, at school, I finally gave in and let students chew gum. I don't agree with it because they never seem to get the chewed up gum in the garbage can, but that's not a hill I'm willing to "die on". 10 years from now it won't matter if there was gum under a desk or on the floor. 

I think, the older I get, the more I realize that some things just aren't that big of a deal. Issues aren't worth getting worked up about, and letting someone else "win". I'm not that insecure that I have to worry about "winning" an issue, especially with a stranger. Our boys' salvation and walk with the Lord is a BIG DEAL to me so I try to live my life in a way that witnesses to others and is pleasing to the Lord. Holding our boys accountable for the way they treat others or show integrity is important to me. I want them (and me) to make a great first impression because that, in turn, becomes a witness to someone.

So, I guess my question to you is, what will your legacy be? How will people remember you? Do you make people feel loved and valued or will people have to try hard to remember you in a loving a way? Make today count for how your legacy will be in the future. 

Backseat Driver

As one of my best friends says, "I've been up in my feelings lately." I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the boys growing up. For the first time in 6 years, I won't be at the elementary school with either of them. I'm so thankful that they'll still only be a building away from me, but I'm going to miss knowing they're at the elementary school with me. And then P will be a licensed driver within a couple months and that's really got me emotional. We were driving to school last week and he said, "Mom, why are you looking at me like that?" I told him it's because I can't imagine he'll be an upperclassman when we return to school in the Fall. I told him that, before we know it, he'll be moving out. I told him that he's one of my best friends and I will miss seeing him every day. He jokingly replied that he'll call me every day to ask what's for dinner and if I have Ben n Jerry's for him in the freezer, he'll stop by a lot. Deal!

When I was driving to school by myself this morning, this song came on. I know it's referring to the singer's daughter, but it still makes me tear up because we are past this phase of the boys' lives. As much as I enjoy this current phase of their lives, I sure wish time would slow down so I could enjoy them while they're "little" just a little while longer.

The song:

https://youtu.be/YNKt863IzlI?si=FmgZrjJqKSX9F_aI

A Little Catching Up

 Oh, where oh where has the past couple months gone? Figured since I had a few minutes, I'd catch up on our blogging life so one day, when I get around to printing this into a book, I can remember our adventures. In March we spent Spring Break at Lake Fork. It's always a favorite place for our boys. We stayed at the same cabin we stayed at before and the boys fished nonstop. They also brought a friend and he loved fishing Lake Fork. Everyone caught some big fish...except me. 

Once we got back, life got really busy with baseball, tennis and fishing tournaments. Rob has also been working a lot this year so he hasn't been home as much. P picked up tennis this year and seemed to enjoy it. He's on the fence as to whether he'll play again next year. We went to his end of the season tennis banquet last night, where his coach said some nice things about him. He wasn't a starter this season so he didn't win any awards, but he was supportive of his teammates who did win. He and his fishing partner ended the season last month. P has come a long way with tournament fishing and impresses me with how hard core he fishes. He and Rob fished our favorite local tournament earlier this month. They didn't finish as well as they had hoped, but they still placed in a decent spot. I've gone fishing a few times with Rob, when we actually have a few free minutes, and one time I caught several fish, but that's the exception rather than the norm for me. 

E played several one day baseball tournaments this Spring. It makes for a long day, but I'm thankful that it allows us to go to church on Sundays. His team has really struggled since the head coach stepped down to take a lineman job. Lack of communication and strong personalities with the coaching staff has made the tension in the dugout almost unbearable. It has caused a lot of undue stress with the team and parents. So, after this past tournament, we decided it would be best if E stepped away from the team. He has stuck it out all Spring, but he will miss the State Championship tournament next month. His team did finish as runner up a couple weeks ago when the previous head coach made a guest appearance for the day so that was fun for the boys. It was the first time they had won some bling in over a year! 

As I said, we've been active at our home church. I sing in the choir so we're there every Sunday. One Sunday, the boys and I had gone to church without Rob. We only had one vehicle that weekend so the boys and I went a different route than usual to pick him up after church. As we were driving down a highway, a toddler ran across the road, wearing only a very soiled diaper. Long story, short, both boys amazed me with how they stepped up and handled the emergency. They helped me as we turned the toddler over to CPS for them to place him with a family member. I can't go into detail about the whole thing, but this sweet little boy clung to me like his life depended on it...and I guess, in a way, it did.

If all that craziness wasn't enough, we added more to the LazyH Farm. We now have 2 ducklings, 6 more chickens and 60,000 (?) bees. On top of that, I planted our garden last month. At this rate, we're going to be able to live off the grid. Ha!

The school year is quickly coming to an end. It has been one for the books, in a good way. I have absolutely LOVED this group of students! It was also such a blessing being E's ELA teacher! I can't believe he's officially done with elementary school. We found out last night that he will be playing on his junior high baseball team, which he's pumped about. And I can't believe that P will be an upper class man when we return in the Fall. I looked at him the other day, when we were on our way to school, and got sad. Before I know it, he will be moving out and spreading his wings as an adult. But, he's one of my best friends and I can't imagine not seeing him every day. He now owns his own truck and will be driving it independently within a few months. That is the only thing I am excited about with him getting older. I feel like I live in my car, driving the boys everywhere. E works at a local dog kennel a couple days a week and P always wants to go golfing so I put hundreds of miles on my car each week. My 2020 4-Runner has A LOT of miles on it so I'm looking forward to lessening my taxi load by Fall.

We have a lot of fun planned for this Summer, but I will try to find a few free minutes to blog. Hopefully I won't have to play catch up as much. Until next time....

A Mother's Story

 When I was standing in the church choir loft this morning, my eye caught on our youth pastor's wife. She quietly sat there with tears streaming down her cheeks. This was going to be her first Mother's Day, but sadly, she miscarried right after they announced she was expecting. She has the biggest servant's heart so she selflessly grabbed a handful of roses and passed them out to the moms in the choir loft. My heart broke for her. I shed tears, wishing that the Lord had had different plans for them with their pregnancy. And it got me thinking. Every mother has some kind of story because every pregnancy is a miracle. Here is my story:

As a teacher, I have seen dozens of kids have a less than ideal home life. And it had always been my dream to adopt kids instead of having my own kids naturally. Until I was in my mid 20s. I kept getting unbearable abdominal pain and was diagnosed with endometriosis. After I had surgery to repair/remove/whatever they did to it, my doctor called me into his office and told me that I had to be prepared to not be able to get pregnant because my endometriosis was so severe. I left his office, crying, and called my mom. I told her what he had said and she said, "But I thought you wanted to adopt." I told her I had, but that was when it had been an option. I felt like I was being told I no longer had the option to bear my own children.

When things started getting serious with Rob, I told him there was a good chance I couldn't have kids because I wanted him to know everything before talking marriage. He said that we could cross that bridge when we got to it. So imagine my surprise when, 4 months after we got married, we found out I was pregnant. P was sick as a newborn and that carried on until his first birthday. It was a lot of stress as a new mom, who was also learning how to be a "nurse" to our baby. Rob was gone with work more than he was home so we decided that we'd wait to try for a second child. We got pregnant much faster than expected with P so we thought it'd take no time at all to get pregnant again. Wrong!

After P turned one and he was out of the woods with his medical concerns, we started trying again. We tried for over two years to no avail. Finally we decided to get medical assistance because my endometriosis was rearing its ugly head. The first time we tried in vitro I was not surprised in the least to find out I wasn't pregnant. But, the second time I would've bet the farm that I was pregnant. I craved Chinese food and couldn't get enough of it (something I usually only eat once or twice a year). My sense of smell was heightened like it was during my first pregnancy. I was so excited and took multiple pregnancy tests, which all came back positive. I was over the moon excited....until I was told that I was not pregnant. That my hormones had been elevated due to the in vitro process. I was devastated. But, we decided to try one more time. At this point, we had maxed out our credit card trying to get pregnant, so we decided that if I wasn't pregnant we would explain to P that we tried to make him a big brother but God had other plans. After the third attempt, I went for my blood work before school one morning. I didn't feel pregnant and was pretty confident that the third time had failed. Then the nurse called me a few hours later to tell me congratulations, that I was indeed pregnant. I was shocked beyond belief!

Now we have two very healthy boys. They're a little further apart in age than I had wanted, but that's okay. See, every mother has their own story. Mother's Day is not always an easy day for some because of their story. But, I am thankful for the miracle of life and for God's plan even when it is not our own.

 

Stepping Up and Growing Up

Over the Summer, P and I were talking and he told me that this was going to be his best school year yet. We are over halfway done with it and he has definitely maintained that goal! His go-to sport since he was in middle school has been XC. Although he doesn't love running, he loves XC. When his coach left the school unexpectedly last year he wasn't sure he was going to go out for the team again this year. But a friend of his talked him into it and he was so glad he did! He's bonded with his new coach and even dated a girl on the team for a hot minute. His other go-to sport is bass fishing. He and his fishing partner have stuck together this season and fished two of their tournaments in the Fall. (The other two are coming up soon!)

But, what I am most impressed with is the fact that he's tried new things. He played on the golf team for the first time and has decided that that is his favorite sport. He goes out in the yard when he has free time and practices anything from teeing off to chipping to putting. He and Rob also golf on the weekends when time permits. I am excited to see where he goes with golf! Another new sport for him this year is tennis. He says it is confusing and is not sure that he loves it, but he is definitely learning and improving with each match. Time will tell if he sticks with tennis again next year.

On top of his sports, he has maintained good grades. His hang up in his GPA is the usual....Math. But, he is maturing and putting more effort into studying this year (at least for most of his classes). His attendance is what has impressed me the most this year. In years past, he has missed more school than he should for various reasons. This year he only has 2 absences. One was from last week when he was sick. He got a 24 hour bug on Thursday and wasn't feeling 100% Friday, but went to school regardless. I love that his work ethic is greatly improving with his maturity!

To top it all off, our boy is a working boy. He got a part time job, working for a local taxidermist. As of now, his main job consists of pressure washing skulls that will be mounted. Between tennis and church, he is limited to 2-3 days a week after school. But, he works when he can and is saving up for a truck. His boss is quick to tell us that P is a hard worker and does anything that is asked of him, making us so proud. 

We are so proud of him in every way! He is transforming from a boy to a young man and is stepping up in more ways than one. I love having a front row seat to it all and watching our sweet boy grow up!

Baseball Blues

 I'm not one of those people who doesn't like change. I actually cherish it and can thrive on it. But this is one of those rare times I struggle with it....in the world of baseball. 

If you know us, you know that baseball is a huge part of E's life. He started rec ball when he was 4 and hasn't stopped. He switched to travel ball when he was 8 at the recommendation of an acquaintance who had watched him play. But ever since he's started travel ball, there's been bumps along the way.

His first team was awesome in the fact that it was more like a family than a team. We sat there, tournament after tournament, cheering on the underdogs, praying that this would be the game they won. Their coach was young and had no bond with the boys whatsoever. It wasn't until another coach stepped in that they actually won their last game of the season. But we left that team because we moved out of state.

He tried out for a few teams in MS and all of the coaches offered him a spot. We prayed about it, discussed it and thought we had made the best decision....until the first tournament. The coach ended up being a jerk and called in guest players, while benching E. In return, E injured his arm, trying to prove to the coach that he could play. It was a disaster and it broke my mama heart. I hated going to tournaments just to watch E sit on the bench. To say I was relieved when that season was over is an understatement.

In 2023, E tried out for a new team in the area. It's been a good match for him and he gets all the playing time he wants. The first Fall the team was together they were unstoppable. We did a lot of team bonding and the boys became friends as well as teammates. Then Spring ball came around and the boys were bumped up to the next bracket. They lost more games than they won and their confidence tanked. Then one boy left. Then another left after the Spring season to go play on another team. Unfortunately, some more of his teammates have started leaving for various reasons. I feel like we'll be starting this season with a new team because we'll have so many new players. I know I'll miss the way the team was its first season together.

In this case, I'm not a fan of change. I wish the team could stay together. There was so much potential in the original team. But, as one of the coaches reminded me, there's so much potential in this new group as well. All I can say is that I hope E makes the jr high school team so there's not as much change come next Fall. Until then, I'll cheer him on loudly and pray that he continues to shine his light off and on the field.

I'm BAAACCCKKKKK!!

Surprise! You probably thought you'd never see another blog from me and I wasn't 100% you would either. But, alas, here I am. New year, new me, blah, blah, blah. Let's see if I can catch you up on the past 6 months of our lives before the sun makes its appearance. (insomnia yet again....)

So, I left y'all back in June and there's been so much since then. I've probably forgotten a lot of it, but I'll hit the highlights of each person.

Rob- He has taken up golf again. So, when he's not in pain or traveling for work (and sometimes when he is traveling for work), he tees up. He says he's not good, but he's lying. We went to a golf community for our annual get away in November and I got to golf with him on a couple of really nice courses. It was a lot of fun! 

He has traveled more than normal this Fall. He has had some big responsibilities with the company this year, which has taken him to some "new" places. He got to go to Washington, D.C. for a week and see some really cool things, which I was jealous of, of course! He is still around to do his 500 "Dad duties", but work has been more demanding than in the past couple years. Thankfully the boys are pretty self sufficient so it's not like it used to be when he was gone for work. The only struggle is the "Mom Taxi", trying to get both boys to different parts of town....on the same day...around the same time. I really need to get better about asking for help and I'm trying....

Me- I'm still teaching 6th grade. Our youngest is in 6th grade this year so I was nervous about being his teacher. But, it has actually been a real blessing. We have drawn closer than ever and I love talking to him about his friends because I teach all of them.

I have been more social lately. For a few years I lacked that "friend" component in life. Not that I didn't have any friends, but I didn't intentionally do things with them. I have 2 close friends that I get together with fairly regularly. It' nice to be something other than being a wife, a mom and a teacher.

P- Over the Summer, he got his driver's permit. I'm not going to say it's been easy being a backseat driver and I thank God regularly that I am not a driving instructor. But, he has gotten a lot better behind the wheel. I have come to enjoy his chauffeuring me around and will miss it come this Summer when he can drive solo.

Before the school year started, he told me that this was going to be his best year yet and he has proven that to be true. This is the first year, since 6th grade, that he has really thrived. He is on new sports teams (golf and tennis to go along with XC and Bass Fishing). He's earning good grades and he got himself his first real job. He works for a local taxidermist. The work is not glamorous, but he gets paid well and the husband/wife duo that runs the business seem to really like him.

He is involved in our youth group and has a good core group of friends. Some of those friends created a fantasy football league and P is currently battling for the championship. He has grown in so many ways this year (physically he's shot up to almost 6'0 and he's put on over 20lbs in the past few months!). We are so proud of the young man that he's becoming!

E- Fall has been busy for him. He started his last year of elementary school. With that came some new freedom and responsibility. He was inducted into the school's Beta Club and was elected by his peers as the Beta Club President. It has been a growing experience for the both of us (I am the Beta sponsor and work closely with our Beta "board") and it has not always been sunshine and rainbows. But, E is pretty easygoing and lets things go after we've discussed them.

He is still active in baseball. His team played a few Fall tournaments and then they took a much needed break. He starts back up again next weekend with practices. This Spring will be busy because he's got baseball and will also be trying out for Jr High school teams.

The biggest highlight of E's year is that he decided to make a public profession on faith and got baptized last month. This was so important to him (and us). I'm thankful that he takes his walk with God seriously and enjoys witnessing to others. He's got a big friend group and they text each other scripture and encouraging messages on a daily basis, which is fun to watch as a parent and as their teacher.

He celebrated a birthday earlier this week. He's to the age where he doesn't necessarily want to have a huge party. So he had 4 good friends come over for the night and then we went to a local "party" place the next day before finishing the celebration with steaks on the grill. He loved every sleep deprived, tween moment of it!

He also has his first "girlfriend". I don't know if I'm supposed to publicly announce that, but I want to look back on this blog and remember this time when he's married WAY IN the FUTURE. She is a sweet girl in my class. She is spunky, kindhearted and has a beautiful singing voice. Both boys have been blessed with such sweet first "girlfriends"!

The Whole Fam- We've had yet another busy Summer/Fall. My brother and his family came to visit us this past Summer for the first time since we moved away from the West Coast. It was fun to show them our world and we created a lot of fun memories. Then we went to Panama City for the World Series. Although it had a few fun moments, that will definitely be a "One and Done" experience for us. The highlight was running into some old friends from LA that we got to reconnect with. I also enjoyed our family time. The rest of the week was miserable to say the least. But, we survived it and came home to E's best friend being in town with his dad. His dad helped Rob lay the foundation for our new shop so the boys thoroughly enjoyed playing baseball and having a sleepover. 

The boys and I also went to Cali to visit my family in July. It wasn't as long of a trip as it usually is, but it was fun to go to a Padres game (E's favorite MLB team) and take the boys back to their hometown to show them where they were born and reminisce. 

In October my parents came to visit us. I never take their visits for granted and thoroughly enjoyed our time together. We went to a HUGE annual flea market and we got to celebrate my birthday together for the first time in over a decade. It made my heart happy to spend the week with them! 

In November we became official members of our church. I will not speak for anyone else in our family, but I will say that I have struggled with fitting into a church family for several years. When P wanted to go to the youth group at our church, it was too far for me to drop him off, go back home and then pick him up after the youth group. So, I started attending the Wednesday night Bible Study. That led to Rob and E coming to the Sunday morning service and enjoying it. From there, I joined the choir. And, as they say, that's all she wrote. It became our church family pretty quick and feels like home every time I walk through the doors. We adore the pastor and P has bonded with the youth pastor. We are so blessed to have found our church by way of invitation from a good friend. 

In between our parent duties, Rob and I have found time to do things with friends on a more regular basis. I really enjoy getting together with other couples and we have a lot of fun with a few people from the church/school that we do things with.

Like I said, I have no doubt that I am leaving some important events/things out. But, I am going to try to get a little shut eye before the day begins. It's our last couple days of Christmas break so I want to take advantage of sleeping in. We didn't do anything over the break, but it was relaxing and sometimes that's the best thing. I really enjoy our busy lifestyle, but it also makes me appreciate the slower months where we can just relax and enjoy family time. Until next time....