Sweet Summertime!

 Usually Summer is filled with go, go, go for us. So much so that I welcome the new school year just so life will slow down. But, we broke from the norm this Summer and are having a rather uneventful (ie boring) Summer. Well, it's not boring for the boys. One boy has golfed non-stop and is currently taking golf lessons. He also spent a week at church camp and a week at the family farm. So he's living the good life. The other boy is working....a lot! He also wants to go to the gym every day so he's holding me accountable with working out. 

But, this Summer has been bittersweet for me. With both boys busy doing their own thing, it's giving me a taste of what empty nesting will look like. And I don't like it!! I've been staying around the house, getting projects done, and occasionally getting together with friends. It's so quiet when both boys are gone. I look forward to when they get home and we can catch up on what happened during the few hours they were doing their own thing. 

This Summer has made me appreciate the slower pace of life and the relationship I have with the boys. I love spending time with them and don't take it for granted. I love the weekend we spent together, fishing, at the farm. I love the weekend getaway that we enjoyed at the beach. One of E's friends came with us and we had a lot of fun together. And I am looking forward to our 4th of July tradition where we go out on my BIL's boat and watch fireworks. We'll top off the Summer with our big trip to see my family, which I am excited about. Overall, it's been a fun, yet relaxing Summer...at least for me.

Your Legacy

If you know me, you know I dwell on things. Some might say I over-analyze things. But, I guess that's what I've been doing the past several days. I keep dwelling on, "What will your legacy be when you die?" Morbid I know. But, I think about it in how I LIVE my life currently. One of my pet peeves is when someone dies, people start talking about what a great person the deceased was despite that they were an alcoholic or had affairs or stole or had anger issues or was unreliable. Obviously, when I pass away, I hope people have long since forgotten my snarky tone (the thing I seem to always be working on but never improve) and instead remember me as someone who was quick to love but slow to anger, someone who made others (even strangers) feel valued. 

Our pastor's message this morning was about griping. And I admit, I can be a griper (especially during the school year). But, the past year or so, I've constantly asked myself, "Is that important?" or "Will this be something that matters in 10 years?" If it's not, I either choose to let it go or try to address it and then let it go (so I don't dwell on it). Too many people these days get angry or gripe over dumb things. Things that won't matter in 10 years. BUT,maybe what they don't realize, is how they will be remembered in how they dealt with it. Let's take road rage for instance. I very rarely get riled up when I'm driving because it's not worth it to me. The way I see it is I can either get somewhere a few minutes later than planned or if I rage someone may pull a gun on me or the boys over a driving issue. I'd much rather arrive a little late than not at all. Several months ago a guy pulled into a parking spot I had used my turn signal for, that I was waiting for, in the Kroger parking lot. I was hot! I waited for him at the entrance of the store to give him a piece of my mind and his response was, "It's not that big of a deal. Get over it." I was mad because of the principle of the matter, of how he made me feel. But, then I realized that I let him win by festering about it when he had obviously already moved on. This year, at school, I finally gave in and let students chew gum. I don't agree with it because they never seem to get the chewed up gum in the garbage can, but that's not a hill I'm willing to "die on". 10 years from now it won't matter if there was gum under a desk or on the floor. 

I think, the older I get, the more I realize that some things just aren't that big of a deal. Issues aren't worth getting worked up about, and letting someone else "win". I'm not that insecure that I have to worry about "winning" an issue, especially with a stranger. Our boys' salvation and walk with the Lord is a BIG DEAL to me so I try to live my life in a way that witnesses to others and is pleasing to the Lord. Holding our boys accountable for the way they treat others or show integrity is important to me. I want them (and me) to make a great first impression because that, in turn, becomes a witness to someone.

So, I guess my question to you is, what will your legacy be? How will people remember you? Do you make people feel loved and valued or will people have to try hard to remember you in a loving a way? Make today count for how your legacy will be in the future. 

Backseat Driver

As one of my best friends says, "I've been up in my feelings lately." I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the boys growing up. For the first time in 6 years, I won't be at the elementary school with either of them. I'm so thankful that they'll still only be a building away from me, but I'm going to miss knowing they're at the elementary school with me. And then P will be a licensed driver within a couple months and that's really got me emotional. We were driving to school last week and he said, "Mom, why are you looking at me like that?" I told him it's because I can't imagine he'll be an upperclassman when we return to school in the Fall. I told him that, before we know it, he'll be moving out. I told him that he's one of my best friends and I will miss seeing him every day. He jokingly replied that he'll call me every day to ask what's for dinner and if I have Ben n Jerry's for him in the freezer, he'll stop by a lot. Deal!

When I was driving to school by myself this morning, this song came on. I know it's referring to the singer's daughter, but it still makes me tear up because we are past this phase of the boys' lives. As much as I enjoy this current phase of their lives, I sure wish time would slow down so I could enjoy them while they're "little" just a little while longer.

The song:

https://youtu.be/YNKt863IzlI?si=FmgZrjJqKSX9F_aI

A Little Catching Up

 Oh, where oh where has the past couple months gone? Figured since I had a few minutes, I'd catch up on our blogging life so one day, when I get around to printing this into a book, I can remember our adventures. In March we spent Spring Break at Lake Fork. It's always a favorite place for our boys. We stayed at the same cabin we stayed at before and the boys fished nonstop. They also brought a friend and he loved fishing Lake Fork. Everyone caught some big fish...except me. 

Once we got back, life got really busy with baseball, tennis and fishing tournaments. Rob has also been working a lot this year so he hasn't been home as much. P picked up tennis this year and seemed to enjoy it. He's on the fence as to whether he'll play again next year. We went to his end of the season tennis banquet last night, where his coach said some nice things about him. He wasn't a starter this season so he didn't win any awards, but he was supportive of his teammates who did win. He and his fishing partner ended the season last month. P has come a long way with tournament fishing and impresses me with how hard core he fishes. He and Rob fished our favorite local tournament earlier this month. They didn't finish as well as they had hoped, but they still placed in a decent spot. I've gone fishing a few times with Rob, when we actually have a few free minutes, and one time I caught several fish, but that's the exception rather than the norm for me. 

E played several one day baseball tournaments this Spring. It makes for a long day, but I'm thankful that it allows us to go to church on Sundays. His team has really struggled since the head coach stepped down to take a lineman job. Lack of communication and strong personalities with the coaching staff has made the tension in the dugout almost unbearable. It has caused a lot of undue stress with the team and parents. So, after this past tournament, we decided it would be best if E stepped away from the team. He has stuck it out all Spring, but he will miss the State Championship tournament next month. His team did finish as runner up a couple weeks ago when the previous head coach made a guest appearance for the day so that was fun for the boys. It was the first time they had won some bling in over a year! 

As I said, we've been active at our home church. I sing in the choir so we're there every Sunday. One Sunday, the boys and I had gone to church without Rob. We only had one vehicle that weekend so the boys and I went a different route than usual to pick him up after church. As we were driving down a highway, a toddler ran across the road, wearing only a very soiled diaper. Long story, short, both boys amazed me with how they stepped up and handled the emergency. They helped me as we turned the toddler over to CPS for them to place him with a family member. I can't go into detail about the whole thing, but this sweet little boy clung to me like his life depended on it...and I guess, in a way, it did.

If all that craziness wasn't enough, we added more to the LazyH Farm. We now have 2 ducklings, 6 more chickens and 60,000 (?) bees. On top of that, I planted our garden last month. At this rate, we're going to be able to live off the grid. Ha!

The school year is quickly coming to an end. It has been one for the books, in a good way. I have absolutely LOVED this group of students! It was also such a blessing being E's ELA teacher! I can't believe he's officially done with elementary school. We found out last night that he will be playing on his junior high baseball team, which he's pumped about. And I can't believe that P will be an upper class man when we return in the Fall. I looked at him the other day, when we were on our way to school, and got sad. Before I know it, he will be moving out and spreading his wings as an adult. But, he's one of my best friends and I can't imagine not seeing him every day. He now owns his own truck and will be driving it independently within a few months. That is the only thing I am excited about with him getting older. I feel like I live in my car, driving the boys everywhere. E works at a local dog kennel a couple days a week and P always wants to go golfing so I put hundreds of miles on my car each week. My 2020 4-Runner has A LOT of miles on it so I'm looking forward to lessening my taxi load by Fall.

We have a lot of fun planned for this Summer, but I will try to find a few free minutes to blog. Hopefully I won't have to play catch up as much. Until next time....

A Mother's Story

 When I was standing in the church choir loft this morning, my eye caught on our youth pastor's wife. She quietly sat there with tears streaming down her cheeks. This was going to be her first Mother's Day, but sadly, she miscarried right after they announced she was expecting. She has the biggest servant's heart so she selflessly grabbed a handful of roses and passed them out to the moms in the choir loft. My heart broke for her. I shed tears, wishing that the Lord had had different plans for them with their pregnancy. And it got me thinking. Every mother has some kind of story because every pregnancy is a miracle. Here is my story:

As a teacher, I have seen dozens of kids have a less than ideal home life. And it had always been my dream to adopt kids instead of having my own kids naturally. Until I was in my mid 20s. I kept getting unbearable abdominal pain and was diagnosed with endometriosis. After I had surgery to repair/remove/whatever they did to it, my doctor called me into his office and told me that I had to be prepared to not be able to get pregnant because my endometriosis was so severe. I left his office, crying, and called my mom. I told her what he had said and she said, "But I thought you wanted to adopt." I told her I had, but that was when it had been an option. I felt like I was being told I no longer had the option to bear my own children.

When things started getting serious with Rob, I told him there was a good chance I couldn't have kids because I wanted him to know everything before talking marriage. He said that we could cross that bridge when we got to it. So imagine my surprise when, 4 months after we got married, we found out I was pregnant. P was sick as a newborn and that carried on until his first birthday. It was a lot of stress as a new mom, who was also learning how to be a "nurse" to our baby. Rob was gone with work more than he was home so we decided that we'd wait to try for a second child. We got pregnant much faster than expected with P so we thought it'd take no time at all to get pregnant again. Wrong!

After P turned one and he was out of the woods with his medical concerns, we started trying again. We tried for over two years to no avail. Finally we decided to get medical assistance because my endometriosis was rearing its ugly head. The first time we tried in vitro I was not surprised in the least to find out I wasn't pregnant. But, the second time I would've bet the farm that I was pregnant. I craved Chinese food and couldn't get enough of it (something I usually only eat once or twice a year). My sense of smell was heightened like it was during my first pregnancy. I was so excited and took multiple pregnancy tests, which all came back positive. I was over the moon excited....until I was told that I was not pregnant. That my hormones had been elevated due to the in vitro process. I was devastated. But, we decided to try one more time. At this point, we had maxed out our credit card trying to get pregnant, so we decided that if I wasn't pregnant we would explain to P that we tried to make him a big brother but God had other plans. After the third attempt, I went for my blood work before school one morning. I didn't feel pregnant and was pretty confident that the third time had failed. Then the nurse called me a few hours later to tell me congratulations, that I was indeed pregnant. I was shocked beyond belief!

Now we have two very healthy boys. They're a little further apart in age than I had wanted, but that's okay. See, every mother has their own story. Mother's Day is not always an easy day for some because of their story. But, I am thankful for the miracle of life and for God's plan even when it is not our own.

 

Stepping Up and Growing Up

Over the Summer, P and I were talking and he told me that this was going to be his best school year yet. We are over halfway done with it and he has definitely maintained that goal! His go-to sport since he was in middle school has been XC. Although he doesn't love running, he loves XC. When his coach left the school unexpectedly last year he wasn't sure he was going to go out for the team again this year. But a friend of his talked him into it and he was so glad he did! He's bonded with his new coach and even dated a girl on the team for a hot minute. His other go-to sport is bass fishing. He and his fishing partner have stuck together this season and fished two of their tournaments in the Fall. (The other two are coming up soon!)

But, what I am most impressed with is the fact that he's tried new things. He played on the golf team for the first time and has decided that that is his favorite sport. He goes out in the yard when he has free time and practices anything from teeing off to chipping to putting. He and Rob also golf on the weekends when time permits. I am excited to see where he goes with golf! Another new sport for him this year is tennis. He says it is confusing and is not sure that he loves it, but he is definitely learning and improving with each match. Time will tell if he sticks with tennis again next year.

On top of his sports, he has maintained good grades. His hang up in his GPA is the usual....Math. But, he is maturing and putting more effort into studying this year (at least for most of his classes). His attendance is what has impressed me the most this year. In years past, he has missed more school than he should for various reasons. This year he only has 2 absences. One was from last week when he was sick. He got a 24 hour bug on Thursday and wasn't feeling 100% Friday, but went to school regardless. I love that his work ethic is greatly improving with his maturity!

To top it all off, our boy is a working boy. He got a part time job, working for a local taxidermist. As of now, his main job consists of pressure washing skulls that will be mounted. Between tennis and church, he is limited to 2-3 days a week after school. But, he works when he can and is saving up for a truck. His boss is quick to tell us that P is a hard worker and does anything that is asked of him, making us so proud. 

We are so proud of him in every way! He is transforming from a boy to a young man and is stepping up in more ways than one. I love having a front row seat to it all and watching our sweet boy grow up!

Baseball Blues

 I'm not one of those people who doesn't like change. I actually cherish it and can thrive on it. But this is one of those rare times I struggle with it....in the world of baseball. 

If you know us, you know that baseball is a huge part of E's life. He started rec ball when he was 4 and hasn't stopped. He switched to travel ball when he was 8 at the recommendation of an acquaintance who had watched him play. But ever since he's started travel ball, there's been bumps along the way.

His first team was awesome in the fact that it was more like a family than a team. We sat there, tournament after tournament, cheering on the underdogs, praying that this would be the game they won. Their coach was young and had no bond with the boys whatsoever. It wasn't until another coach stepped in that they actually won their last game of the season. But we left that team because we moved out of state.

He tried out for a few teams in MS and all of the coaches offered him a spot. We prayed about it, discussed it and thought we had made the best decision....until the first tournament. The coach ended up being a jerk and called in guest players, while benching E. In return, E injured his arm, trying to prove to the coach that he could play. It was a disaster and it broke my mama heart. I hated going to tournaments just to watch E sit on the bench. To say I was relieved when that season was over is an understatement.

In 2023, E tried out for a new team in the area. It's been a good match for him and he gets all the playing time he wants. The first Fall the team was together they were unstoppable. We did a lot of team bonding and the boys became friends as well as teammates. Then Spring ball came around and the boys were bumped up to the next bracket. They lost more games than they won and their confidence tanked. Then one boy left. Then another left after the Spring season to go play on another team. Unfortunately, some more of his teammates have started leaving for various reasons. I feel like we'll be starting this season with a new team because we'll have so many new players. I know I'll miss the way the team was its first season together.

In this case, I'm not a fan of change. I wish the team could stay together. There was so much potential in the original team. But, as one of the coaches reminded me, there's so much potential in this new group as well. All I can say is that I hope E makes the jr high school team so there's not as much change come next Fall. Until then, I'll cheer him on loudly and pray that he continues to shine his light off and on the field.