Thursday, January 11, 2024

Goodbyes

 In the South, they say if you eat cabbage and black-eyed peas on New Years Day it will bring money and good luck. I don't believe it. We are 11 days into the new year and 2024 isn't feeling very "lucky". (I know, Dad, that you don't believe in luck but just go with me for the sake of this blog.)

I'm sure no one truly likes funerals, but I avoid them at all cost. That's how much I despise them. But, despite despising them, I've been to some over the years. At my Papa's funeral, I remember walking to the church before his memorial and having a "quiet moment" (or 30) of grief in solitude. Then I don't remember much from his memorial because I shut down. I remember person after person coming up to me saying, "I'm sorry....." to the point that I wanted to scream if one more person apologized for me losing one of my all time favorite people in the world. To this day, I don't say "I'm sorry" to someone who has lost a loved one because of my Papa's funeral. As sad as it sounds, I don't remember any details from my Nana's funeral. I was with her when she took her last breath and I remember seeing a double rainbow right afterwards. I remember thinking that was the first time I had seen a double rainbow and it confirmed to me that my grandparents had been reunited. After that I don't remember anything. What I do remember is my last Thanksgiving with my Nana when it was just me and her and what a special time that was for us. I remember spending countless hours on the beach with her, looking for agates. I remember so much about the special times with my Nana and Papa that I guess it's not important that I don't remember their memorials.

Over the past 16 years, since my Nana passed away, I've avoided funerals. If I've had to attend one, I have gone through the motions with little emotion. Until 7 months ago when we buried a sweet boy from our school. I didn't know him well, but he had a big personality that everyone loved. I cried at his funeral. It's the first time I had cried at a funeral since my Nana's funeral. But today I went to a funeral that just about wrecked me. Today we honored the life of one of my precious 6th graders from last year. She died very unexpectedly and I have been grieving the loss of her life all week. Today at her funeral I was an absolute basketcase and I honestly don't know what I would've done if Rob had not been there. I have never been that broken at a funeral. I couldn't even look at the casket with that sweet girl's body inside because it was too much for me to handle. Instead, I buried my head in Rob's chest and sobbed uncontrollably. After the service, I held several of my students- past and present- in my arms while they sobbed. I have never had to bury a student I was close with and I pray that I never have to do it again. It was beyond awful!

Hopefully, the memories of her funeral will fade like they did with my grandparents' services and all I will remember are the good times with Corley. Even while I was getting ready this morning, I heard her voice say, "Mrs. Herrington, why don't you straighten your hair? I like it straight." During the service I got lost in the picture displayed of her on the screen and for a second I could hear her chomping the ice that was in the cup she was holding in the picture because she was always chomping on ice in my class. This evening I heard a sound and I thought of her infectious laugh. 

Corley was larger than life. She had more confidence at 12 than I probably have had in my whole life. She truly lived like no one was watching. She was loud and boisterous. She was giving and thoughtful. She LOVED bright colors and sparkles and dressing up. She was a friend to everyone. I sure am going to miss Corley Ann and I can't wait to be reunited with her in heaven someday, where she can teach me to love dancing and singing as much as she did.




Saturday, January 6, 2024

Traditions, Birthday Fun and Loss

 I'll preface this by saying that I'm heartbroken as I write this so this may not be as cheerful as I'd want it to be. 

Traditions are important to me. I love our holiday traditions, starting at Thanksgiving when our elf on the shelf appears. He brings a lot of joy...and mischief....until Christmas Eve, when he goes back to the North Pole for the year. A few years ago the boys and I tried to accomplish 25 days of kind acts leading up to Christmas. We weren't 100% successful but one thing that we did, that the boys still enjoy doing, is "candy cane bombing" cars. Essentially, they put a candy cane on car doors in the parking lot. Then we sit and watch a few people come to their car, often smiling when they see the candy cane. On Christmas Eve we typically go to a service and then go look at Christmas lights. This year we didn't look at lights because I was in a funk and the boys said they don't like looking at lights anymore. But we still baked cookies for Santa and a birthday cake for Jesus. 

On Christmas morning we woke up early to open gifts then enjoyed brunch at my brother in law's house. Later that afternoon, my in-laws came over for dinner. It was a pretty low-key Christmas, which was just what I needed. The day after Christmas, P and I woke up not feeling well. I'm 99% sure mine was a sinus infection and we found out that P's was just a viral infection. But we spent about 5 days sleeping and watching football. We didn't get off the couch much. It was glorious...except the sick part.

Thankfully we were feeling better in time to celebrate E's birthday. He wanted to go bowling and then grill burgers and have fruit salad. For the first time in years, he wanted to have a big birthday party. So we didn't do much on his actual birthday.

Our Christmas break has been really low-key except for getting new floors. We had 2 days of "chaos" because of it, but it was well worth it! I am in love with our new floors and it made me realize how bad our old floors truly were.

Today has been hard, despite it being E's big birthday party. Shortly after waking up, I got word that one of my sweet students from last year died unexpectedly last night. It took me by surprise and absolutely broke my heart! She and I got close last Christmas because her little brother and E are good friends. She gave the best hugs and her smile was infectious. The only time I saw her being "down" was when she didn't get picked for the middle school cheerleading squad. But, in true Corley nature, she put her friends first and was excited for them. I was thrilled when she made the middle school dance team! She was always so positive and gave the best hugs. Today I had a splitting headache from trying to hold it together for E's birthday. I didn't want him to know about Corley until after his party. Thankfully I accomplished my goal and he had a lot of fun, despite the cold temperatures. He improvised on games because no one really wanted to go outside, but no one seemed to mind.

It's been a long day and I'm ready for bed. Tomorrow is the last day I get to relax before going back to work. I'm thankful for the time I've had with the boys and our restful break. 














Sweet Corley Ann....a beautiful life cut too short




Saturday, November 25, 2023

Oh, Life!

I don't know if I'm in a lull with this blog or over it. But, as you can tell, I haven't blogged in months. Not because I don't have anything to blog about but because I don't know what I want to say.

We are well into the school year and it's been yet another busy one. P did well with his XC season and has colleges recruiting him. He is on the Bass Fishing team with a new partner and, while both of them are decent anglers, they have yet to catch any fish during their Fall tournaments. He is getting used to high school, but I don't know how different it is since his middle school was in the same building. I can say that we will ALL be celebrating when he graduates high school in a few years and this chapter is behind us! Not because I want him grown up and out of the house, but because this is such an awkward phase in life. I feel like I'm reliving high school all over again and my own insecurities from my teenage years have resurfaced.

E is on a new baseball team and is gelling with his teammates. Even though they are a new team, they went to the semi-finals every tournament and even came in 2nd place for one of the tournaments! Fall Ball was a little more than I anticipated, but it's fun to see his self-confidence back in full force. He eats, breathes and sleeps baseball. He is doing well in school and has adjusted well to having 3 teachers opposed to 1.

We have not had more than one relaxing weekend since school began. This week we were in Nashville for the first part of the week. I thought that we'd relax once we got home but that has not happened. Actually, that is not true. Thanksgiving was the most relaxing day we've had in awhile. Other than a fairly quick lunch at Rob's cousin's house, we laid low around our house. It was glorious!

There's so many more gaps to fill in from the past few months, but this time change is still messing with me and I am tired. So, goodnight y'all. Maybe it won't take me so long to blog again. But then again, maybe it will....


Sunday, July 23, 2023

Oh, What a Summer!

This Summer has been one for the books! It's one that I want to remember forever. Although we did A LOT of fun stuff, it was the first Summer since the boys were little that they got along more like friends than brothers. Did they have their moments? Of course. But, 95% of the time they got along and it was absolutely GLORIOUS! 

The icing on the cake was all of the things we did. We started the Summer by fishing the MS River and taking my brother in law's new-to-him boat out to go tubing. The week that followed was busy because we cheered on our school's baseball team when they made school history by advancing to the state championship series. P and I left the game to drive to Alabama to meet up with one of my closest college friends and her sweet parents for dinner. Then Rob and I escaped for a few days to the beach, just the two of us, before the boys joined us. The following weekend was bittersweet because it was Keigan's funeral and then a fishing tournament that we put together to help Keigan's and Lou's families with medical expenses incurred from their ATV accident. Father's Day weekend was the only weekend we really laid low and that's because it stormed all weekend. Rob worked crazy long hours, but we did get to celebrate him on Father's Day. One of my favorite things of the Summer was the following weekend when we went to Uncle Fred's farm. I have grown to enjoy fishing, but it's not my most favorite thing in the world to do. However, that weekend was, hands down, the most fun I've ever had fishing. E, Rob and I got up early to go out on the lake. And, boy, was it worth it! Every time E or I casted our lines we were catching bass. We were laughing so hard because I refuse to touch the fish, but he was struggling to deal with all the fish he and I were bringing in. Within a couple hours, we had caught about 40 bass! Needless to say, we had a fish fry while we were at the farm. A few days after getting back from the farm, the boys and I made a day trip to Denham. We spent time with friends that we hadn't seen in almost a year and P got to go to Youth Group, which he loved. The last weekend of the month was spent celebrating P's bday with a "surprise" trip to watch the Atlanta Braves play. I had tried so hard to keep it a secret but the boys looked through my phone the day before the game and saw the tickets. Despite it not being much of a surprise, we still had a lot of fun watching Warren Zeiders before the game and then watching the Braves dominate the game with several home runs. 

July was pretty much spent in Cali, visiting family and friends. We did spend the first Saturday of the month tubing, grilling on the boat and watching fireworks. We also celebrated P's birthday by fishing and going to his favorite restaurant for dinner. After that we flew to Cali, where we fished some more (Are you seeing a theme for this Summer?). We also got to spend time with my brother and his family at Great Wolf Lodge. And I LOVED spending a day at my favorite place....the mountains! But, hands down, my favorite part of our time there was surprising my parents with a belated 50th anniversary dinner with family and a few close friends. Last Fall I had planned on surprising my parents by flying to SD to help them celebrate their special anniversary. But, due to unforeseen circumstance, they had to cancel their trip as did we. So, my brother, SIL and I planned an intimate dinner at my parents' favorite restaurant. It was so much fun to, not only see them surprised, but see people lovingly celebrate them.

We got back home a few days ago and now reality is setting in. I am fast and furiously trying to finish up some big house projects that have taken longer than anticipated. Have you ever peeled wallpaper? Oh the joys! (It makes me rethink the newest fad of adding wallpaper to rooms to add flair.) I have also been working in my classroom, getting ready for the new school year, while trying to catch up on things at the house and squeeze in a last few fun times with the boys. I can't remember the last time a Summer flew by as fast as this one did! I am looking forward to the slower pace that Fall can bring, but I'm not quite ready to end this awesome Summer. Like I said, it was one of the best!







































Sunday, July 2, 2023

Almost 14!

 To Our Oldest Son,

Tomorrow you will turn 14. Next year's birthday will bring your driving permit and the following year your driver's license. 4 birthdays from now you'll be off to school to become a game warden OR to fish the Elite Series, on your way to becoming a professional angler. But, it seems like just yesterday that I was holding you in the hospital, in awe of your little newborn fingers and toes.

They say you don't truly know what love is until you have kids and I believe that to be true. We've had an undeniable bond ever since you were born and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. Your birth was so easy, but when you got so sick as a newborn, I quickly learned how strong and resilient you were.

I see that same strength and resilience today. Sometimes I feel that you take backseat to your brother's athletic talent and quick wit. You get the brunt of things sometimes. Yet you grin and bear it and move on, while I overcompensate. I do that because I don't want you to ever see yourself as less than anybody else. You have SO much going for you!

You absolutely amaze me with your wealth of information. Whether it be sports stats, fishing lure action or historical war facts, you have a memory that I am incredibly envious of! I tell you all the time that you could be a sports commentator and I mean it. You know more than most adults do about almost every sport.

God blessed you with a beautiful singing voice and musical ability (and ability to remember the correct lyrics...unlike your mom and little brother). I love sitting next to you in church and listening to you sing the worship songs/hymns. But when you pull out your guitar to play and sing...be still my heart! You could easily make it in the music industry (although I pray that that isn't something you do because it can be an ugly world).

Your ability to fish the way you do has me in awe. From what I've heard, it's hard to go to new fishing spots and catch fish, yet you make it look easy. You spend all your extra money on lures and rods/reels. But the way you research them and then use them to catch fish is so cool to me. Yes, I do get tired of hearing about them or watching lure "action" but it's because that's not my thing. It'd be like me talking to you about the romance novels I read. You would be bored. But that doesn't mean I don't find the way you use all this information to follow your passion extremely interesting because I do.

You're at a quirky age. I get it. At times I see the little boy in you come out in your silly ways. At other times I see you working toward adulthood when you'd rather surround yourself with older people instead of people your own age. You're starting to find your way in this big world. You're talking more about your future goals and adulthood. You're starting to mature in the way you handle difficult situations. While all of this makes me incredibly happy, a part of me is sad because it means you're growing up.

I have loved all stages on your life, watching you grow and learn. But I really like this current stage. I love watching you become a gentleman (Buying me flowers with your own money the other day at Kroger is something I hope I remember forever because it meant the world to me!), learning to put others first. I love your sarcastic sense of humor that I so easily relate to because I have the same off-kilter humor. I love how passionate you are about so many things. I love how protective you are of your dogs, checking on them every night before you go to bed to make sure they're both ok. I love that you are such an awesome big brother, teaching E things and watching out for him. I love that you still enjoy cuddling with me and that you talk to me more than the average teenage boy talks to his mom about so many different things. I don't take for granted how open you are with me.

Kid, you're going to make it in this world! You'll have bumps and bruises along the way, but you have everything it takes to make it. I pray daily that you'll live a life that is pleasing to God and that you will grow closer to Him even when the circumstances aren't ideal for growth. You do that and you'll go far in life!

I am so very proud of you, the kid that you were and the man you are becoming. I love you with every ounce of my being and hope I show that to you every day (even though you're the one who is so quick with "I love you Mama".) You are so, so incredibly special and one of a kind. God hit it out of the park when He created you and please know that you have blessed so many people with your 14 years here on Earth. You are loved beyond measure! Thank you for giving me my most important job title in life...Mom. I love you more than you'll ever know.


Love,

Mom (aka Mama, Bruh)

Sunday, June 18, 2023

Father's Day

It makes me sad to think that some people don't know who their dad is, especially because I've been blessed with one of the best. From the time I was young I remember my dad always being there for me. He's always been a great listener and patient as the day is long. He's a natural leader, one who respects others and expects respect in return. He is one of the most non-judgmental people I've ever met and is quick to forgive. When people have wronged him he has been quick to look at the lessons learned from the situation or has forgiven them. Don't get me wrong. He may be quick to overlook people's faults, but he's not a pushover. He'll confront people and attempt to talk out issues when needed. But, overall, he's an easy going guy who knows life is too short to sweat the smaller things.

He's always been a hands-on dad. I used to lay on his lap in the evenings, watching TV. Or we'd pull out a board game (I personally liked Monopoly) to play. He'd lead us in family devotions and read to us. When he went on business trips, he'd bring home rental cars that always lead me and my brother on treasure hunts for the loose change that "people" would drop all around the car. As I got older, his hands-on roles became different. In high school, he spent endless hours helping me with Math (to no avail). He helped me obtain my first job at a local flower shop. He took me out on Father/Daughter dates.

Now, as a mom to two adolescent boys, he's quick to give me parenting advice. He listens when I call just to chat or when I need help solving a problem. He prays with me over the phone. And, at the end of most phone calls, he says, "You know if you need anything, day or night, all you have to do is call." That simple statement speaks volumes for how he wants me to know he's always available to help me no matter how old I get or how far away I live.

Speaking of where we live, he (and my mom) have always made it a point to visit us at every house we've lived at so he can see where we live and create memories in our space. It's important to him to support us (even when he doesn't agree with us) and to see for himself where we call home. 

He enjoys being a hands-on grandparent to his 4 grandkids. When we visit him, he teaches the boys new things. He plays tennis with them and watches them play ball in the backyard. He sets up the tent so they can have campouts in their backyard, which is always a favorite of the boys. He takes them fishing and helps get the catfish off the hooks when the boys aren't comfortable doing it. He talks sports with P and asks him questions to engage him and learn from him. But, most importantly, he invites the boys to do nightly devotions with him and my mom. He has always known his role as a spiritual leader. He's led by example with his quiet, yet undeniable, faith in God. He is quick to give God the glory and pray for others. The boys see that and, I pray, learn from that.

So, today and every day, I am thankful for my dad. I am thankful for the example he's provided for me and my brother ever since we were little. I am thankful that he's always been there and continues to support us, even as adults. I know it sounds cliche, but my dad is my hero and I am so thankful that God blessed me with him.

Monday, June 12, 2023

Perfection

 I feel like I've blogged about this before so if I have, forgive me. I am no longer a beach person. I enjoy different aspects of the beach, but the "sand in your toes, saltwater in your hair" feeling is not my thing anymore. One thing I thoroughly enjoy, however, is scouring the beach for seashells. Last weekend Rob and I went to the beach to celebrate (early) our 15th anniversary.  We had a couple kid-free days there, which we enjoyed. During our 48 hours alone we went to the beach once and that was only for a few minutes. However, once the boys arrived, we more than made up for the time on the beach. E taught himself how to skimboard and P, being a teenage boy, got the attention of a few girls (much to his delight). 

Me? I spent the time looking for shells. The boys know how much I like collecting seashells so they got in on the action as well. The thing is that when I look for shells I only collect the absolute perfect ones. If there is any type of flaw or the shell looks too ordinary I toss it back. The boys will collect any shell that grabs their attention and get excited about adding it to my collection. 

While walking on the beach I reflected on this. It's much like how I view life. I am a perfectionist...to a fault. I put a lot of undue pressure on myself to do everything as perfectly as possible. Unfortunately, I push those expectations onto others in my life as well....my family, my students, people I come across on a daily basis. And I get frustrated when my expectations are not met. But the boys still see the good in others and not their imperfections. Yes, they will make comments about people or things they observe. But, they don't expect perfection from people. 

I need to learn a lesson from them and from the seashells. There's beauty in every shell and every person. Sometimes we have to look a little harder to see the good, but it's still there. Not everything has to be perfect to be enjoyed. If the service is a little slow at a restaurant that just means we have more time to visit or enjoy the relaxation. If a student doesn't do a perfect job on their test then I hope they learned from their mistakes. If I don't complete a task perfectly the first time I have the chance to fix it or start over. I need to start looking at things from a different perspective because life is too short to stress about imperfections. Just like the seashells, everything in life has its own beauty and its own style of some sort of perfection.