I had a blog all planned out about how fun 2019 has been. But then I got convicted to blog about finding joy. I don't know why but maybe you need to hear this right now. It's not always easy to find joy. I know. I was in a dark place earlier this year. No matter how good things were going, I always focused on the negative. All I did was complain. I have no doubt that I was a Debbie Downer to everyone around me. That's when I heard about the book "The Attitude Antidote". It's a 21-day devotional about changing your attitude. I'm about 221 days into it and have yet to finish the book but the devotions I have read have been awesome. it's helped me put things into perspective because I tend to focus on the negative with (in no particular order):
My job: Last month I started a new job at the boys' school. Is it my ideal job? No. But is it a job I currently love? YES! Friday was a rough day. I'm not gonna lie. It was the first day this school year that I was wishing that the clock would jump forward to 3:20 so the day would be over. When I got home from work, Rob asked me how my day was. It would've been easy for me to vent to him for an hour about everything that went wrong. Instead, I told him I've had better days and then I internally focused on all the things I LOVE about my job. I am at the same school as the boys all day long so I get to see them and hug on them a lot. I love my co-workers. The two I work closely with are the best and I learn so much from one of them (even though I've been in education for 20+ years.). I admire how she deals with upset students and how creative she is! I love my students and the laughter they bring to my life on a daily basis. I love that my job is low stress and a whole lot of fun. I'm going to have a bad day once in awhile but the good FAR outweigh the bad so that's what I choose to focus on.
Marriage: Marriage is hard, y'all! And there was a time, a few years ago, that I wanted to throw in the towel. But, Rob kept fighting for us, which showed me that I couldn't quit. We still have our differences. There are some days that I feel we don't agree on anything. But, we've learned that we can agree to disagree or we can compromise or we can walk away, knowing that I was right all along (HA!). Seriously though, on the days that we are constantly bickering, instead of focusing on the negative, I focus on how we balance each other out or how much he helps me. He knows how much I hate washing dishes and folding clothes so he's quick to help with that. He's quick to rearrange his schedule to accommodate mine or get the boys somewhere. He's been a big help these past couple months with little house projects or running errands for me while he's recouped from his kidney surgery.
Finances: All I'm going to say about this is that I hate budgeting and I suck at our finances. But, I've stopped beating myself up about it. It's one of my flaws and thankfully, Rob and I both have jobs that keep giving us paychecks. One of these days I'll grow up and figure it out. But until then we keep plugging along.
My weight: Until I had E, I was a size 4-6. For almost 7 years, I have not been able to lose my "baby weight". In fact, I think I added to it over the past few years. I often get frustrated with myself because, when I start to lose weight, I get excited, eat horribly and gain it back. Instead of focusing on that, I focus on the fact that I am healthy. I work out with a good friend a few times a week. We have plenty of food choices in the house, meaning we are not starving and don't have to worry about our next meal. I may or may not ever lose the extra 15-20 lbs that I want. But, it could be worse.
There are always things you can worry about, or be negative about. But I've learned that it's a mindset that I can control. When someone makes a negative comment, I try to counter it with a positive statement. If I feel that they just need to vent, I listen but try not to feed into their negative comments. This takes work because, for so long, it was easy for me to jump on the negative bandwagon. But I realized how draining it is- for me and for those around me. No one wants to hang out with someone that complains all the time. It's not fun! That's what got me to change my mindset. Life should be fun, not a constant ferris wheel of negativity. If something is a constant negative in your life (job, marriage, etc) change it!! If you don't want to, or can't, change it then try changing your outlook on it instead.
"Any attitude is a choice. You possess the capability to be fully in control of your attitude. Thoughts create feelings. So if you can control your thoughts, you can directly control your feelings...Your thoughts can define your reality and generate your feelings." ~The Attitude Antidote
Sunday, September 29, 2019
Sunday, September 8, 2019
The Good and the Bad
Social media is a blessing and a curse. I love that it gives me "insight" into my friends' lives, letting me catch up with friends that I rarely see. I love that it's a place to ask many people for prayer requests all at once. I love the memes that make me laugh after a long day, the jokes that are reposted. I love that I can get up to date news info or learn about severe weather issues just by scrolling through a newsfeed. The thing that I don't love about it, though, is that it's not always real. People make their life sound so much better/easier than it really is. So I'm going to use this social platform and let you know it's been real lately.
Life has been heavy. Rob and I have argued more than once this week. P was sick this week and E throws major temper tantrums when he's called out for a dirty room. But, that's nothing compared to what some of our family and friends are going through. For the sake of their privacy, I won't go into all the details. But I will say that it's heavy. In some cases, literally life or death heavy. I go to bed with so many prayer requests on my mind that I usually fall asleep praying for family and friends, only to wake up a few hours later to resume my prayer list. One prayer request that God answered according to His Will and not mine concerned good ole Uncle Joe. I prayed so hard for a miracle, that God would heal Uncle Joe from cancer. And God did heal him in the eternal sense but not in the earthly way I had prayed for.
So today we are going to Uncle Joe's visitation. Some people like attending funerals because it gives them closure. I am one of those people who avoid them at all costs. I don't know what to say to loved ones (I refuse to say "I'm sorry for your loss" after hearing that so much at my Papa and Nana's funerals). I ugly cry at time or completely put a wall up, making people think I'm rude and selfless. I don't like anything about funerals. I haven't been to a funeral since P was about a year old. But today I want to go pay my respects to Uncle Joe because he meant so much to me. We didn't see him often but he was one of those men who was larger than life, one of those men that knew more than Google, one of those men that would drop everything to help someone in need, one of those men who could make people laugh with his off sense of humor.
Uncle Joe was one of the first people I met when we moved here. I trash talked Louisiana to him and he just listened. He agreed with a couple things I said then pointed out the many good things about the area. He made jokes about the people and food and made me feel like what I said mattered, even though I just bad mouthed his home state. He was just one of those men that we need more of in life. He went the extra mile. He enjoyed life and he treated everyone with kindness and respect. So today I will say my final earthly goodbyes to him. I will hug his dear wife and daughters close. I will offer what comfort I can because that's what life is about today.
I won't like it but then again not everything in life is a beautiful bed of roses. Sometimes it's the ugly thorns on the rosebushes. And that's ok to talk about as well. Life is good and bad, ugly and beautiful. Sometimes all at the same time. But there's always tomorrow and that's what helps me get through the not so pretty "social media" days of life. Because, really and truly, that's what life is....being real and embracing all that it throws at you.
Life has been heavy. Rob and I have argued more than once this week. P was sick this week and E throws major temper tantrums when he's called out for a dirty room. But, that's nothing compared to what some of our family and friends are going through. For the sake of their privacy, I won't go into all the details. But I will say that it's heavy. In some cases, literally life or death heavy. I go to bed with so many prayer requests on my mind that I usually fall asleep praying for family and friends, only to wake up a few hours later to resume my prayer list. One prayer request that God answered according to His Will and not mine concerned good ole Uncle Joe. I prayed so hard for a miracle, that God would heal Uncle Joe from cancer. And God did heal him in the eternal sense but not in the earthly way I had prayed for.
So today we are going to Uncle Joe's visitation. Some people like attending funerals because it gives them closure. I am one of those people who avoid them at all costs. I don't know what to say to loved ones (I refuse to say "I'm sorry for your loss" after hearing that so much at my Papa and Nana's funerals). I ugly cry at time or completely put a wall up, making people think I'm rude and selfless. I don't like anything about funerals. I haven't been to a funeral since P was about a year old. But today I want to go pay my respects to Uncle Joe because he meant so much to me. We didn't see him often but he was one of those men who was larger than life, one of those men that knew more than Google, one of those men that would drop everything to help someone in need, one of those men who could make people laugh with his off sense of humor.
Uncle Joe was one of the first people I met when we moved here. I trash talked Louisiana to him and he just listened. He agreed with a couple things I said then pointed out the many good things about the area. He made jokes about the people and food and made me feel like what I said mattered, even though I just bad mouthed his home state. He was just one of those men that we need more of in life. He went the extra mile. He enjoyed life and he treated everyone with kindness and respect. So today I will say my final earthly goodbyes to him. I will hug his dear wife and daughters close. I will offer what comfort I can because that's what life is about today.
I won't like it but then again not everything in life is a beautiful bed of roses. Sometimes it's the ugly thorns on the rosebushes. And that's ok to talk about as well. Life is good and bad, ugly and beautiful. Sometimes all at the same time. But there's always tomorrow and that's what helps me get through the not so pretty "social media" days of life. Because, really and truly, that's what life is....being real and embracing all that it throws at you.
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