Within the past year or so Rob and I began acknowledging that E is more bonded to him and P is more bonded to me. We have taken steps to find ways to bond with the other child so that we can have strong, rock solid bonds with both boys. Sometimes that is easy to do and sometimes it is hard. P and I have a lot in common, as do Rob and E, so that parent/child bond is more natural. But I do my best to compliment both boys equally, give affection to both boys equally, spend QUALITY time with both boys equally, etc.
Yesterday Rob was going to pick the boys up from school and head to deer camp for the night. I'm not gonna lie. I was looking forward to having 24 hours to myself. Although I love spending time with my boys (Rob is included in "my boys") on the weekends, I also love having ME time...going to bed early (or late), watching what I want on TV (or not having the TV on at all), sleeping in (or waking up early), drinking my coffee in solitude. BUT, Rob got called out to investigate an accident, meaning I had to get the boys from carpool. That gave them just enough time to get home and have E scheme with his best friend to have a sleepover at his friend's house for the night. I could tell Rob was disappointed that E chose his BFF over his daddy but I also know that it has been good bonding time for P and Rob. It has been nice for me and E as well. This morning, when he got home, we went to a local farmers market, where he bought a birdhouse with the money my parents had sent him. Then we got donuts and bought birdseed. We came home and painted the birdhouse before I made him his favorite food for lunch...rolled tacos (apparently I got the wrong kind, though, and they were too spicy but I tried). Once his best friend got home, I took both boys to make slime and out for ice cream sundaes. It hasn't been all 1:1 bonding time with me and E but it was nice to have some alone time with him this morning. That has been my hardest adjustment with him being in Kinder now- not having 1:1 time with him in the afternoons.
I know parent/child relationships (well, ALL relationships), ebb and flow. Some times E and I will be closer than other times and some times Rob and P will be closer than other times. But we put forth the effort and I hope that's what our boys remember when they are grown and out of the house. That we both tried to do out best, to love our best and to bond the best with BOTH boys!
Saturday, August 18, 2018
Sunday, August 12, 2018
Two Years Ago!
There are a lot of good things in life you'll always remember: birthdays, your wedding day, the day your child(ren) were born. There are also some not-so-pleasant-downright-ugly days that are hard to forget. For me, that's the day my Nana took her last breath with me by her side, 9-11 and the Great Flood of 2016 two years ago.
I am not going to rehash it all because I've already done that...twice. But I'll tell you a few things I won't forget from the whole experience: teamwork, hard/backbreaking work with no complaining, water as far as the eye could see, teamwork, two little boys that never once uttered a complaint despite being in their daddy's truck all day-with little food- because we were too busy helping people, teamwork, a sense of community, feeling so bone chilling cold and tired beyond belief, knowing our house was close but felt a million miles a way, the feeling of panic when Rob's truck started filling with water, the comfort of the Pastor's son playing the piano at the church while we sandbagged it, people coming together in time of need.
After the flood waters receded I felt a sense of hopelessness because of all the despair. I remember feeling stranded because we couldn't get anywhere. I remember jonesing for a Coke like nobody's business and how good it tasted once we finally got one. I remember that we put silly stuff up high like DVDs instead of finding ways to elevate our furniture (Thankfully we didn't flood).
Some of those feelings/memories may recede as time goes on. But one thing I will always remember is how this small like community pulled together, with the outside world, to provide. Provide time, labor, money, donations, cleaning supplies, meals and our non-flooded homes. As devastating as it all was, there was also a sense of pride in being a small part of this helping community! We still have a ways to go to completely rebuild but we're getting there one day at a time.
I am not going to rehash it all because I've already done that...twice. But I'll tell you a few things I won't forget from the whole experience: teamwork, hard/backbreaking work with no complaining, water as far as the eye could see, teamwork, two little boys that never once uttered a complaint despite being in their daddy's truck all day-with little food- because we were too busy helping people, teamwork, a sense of community, feeling so bone chilling cold and tired beyond belief, knowing our house was close but felt a million miles a way, the feeling of panic when Rob's truck started filling with water, the comfort of the Pastor's son playing the piano at the church while we sandbagged it, people coming together in time of need.
After the flood waters receded I felt a sense of hopelessness because of all the despair. I remember feeling stranded because we couldn't get anywhere. I remember jonesing for a Coke like nobody's business and how good it tasted once we finally got one. I remember that we put silly stuff up high like DVDs instead of finding ways to elevate our furniture (Thankfully we didn't flood).
Some of those feelings/memories may recede as time goes on. But one thing I will always remember is how this small like community pulled together, with the outside world, to provide. Provide time, labor, money, donations, cleaning supplies, meals and our non-flooded homes. As devastating as it all was, there was also a sense of pride in being a small part of this helping community! We still have a ways to go to completely rebuild but we're getting there one day at a time.
Monday, August 6, 2018
The End of the Good
Does that title sound dramatic to anyone other than me? I couldn't figure out a better title for what's on my mind so it is what it is. Today, Aug 6, signifies the end of the Summer for us. Yes, the hot Southern temps will still be soaring (as will the humidity) but the Summer fun will be no more. It wasn't as busy of a Summer as in years past but we still did memorable things- a trip to Cali (SoCal), Houston, sleepovers, etc.. The Summer flew by and I don't feel mentally prepared to start a new school year. But tonight I will make sure lunches are packed and everything is ready to walk out the door in the morning. And tomorrow I will wake to an alarm clock for the first time in weeks. And I am not excited about any of it like I usually am.
E is more excited about the new school year than P and I are...combined! P is nervous about starting a new school. This year he went from being our social butterfly to being an introvert almost over night. It's been a weird adjustment for me but I am trying to give him space so he can figure out when he wants to be with friends and when he wants alone time. That by itself has me worried about him starting a new school but he'll make new friends and love his school before too long. Me however? For only the second time in my teaching career, I am not excited for the new school year. The first time was because the principal I worked for was a bully and I dreaded going to work, knowing I had a target on my back. Without going into details, I will assure you that is not the case this year. I have nothing but the utmost respect for my current principal. It's just a year that I'd be ok with being a substitute at the boys' school or a stay at home mom/photographer. But this too shall pass and when I start to get frustrated with things, I will think back on all the fun we had this Summer...and look forward to next Summer. Only 9 more months and counting!
E is more excited about the new school year than P and I are...combined! P is nervous about starting a new school. This year he went from being our social butterfly to being an introvert almost over night. It's been a weird adjustment for me but I am trying to give him space so he can figure out when he wants to be with friends and when he wants alone time. That by itself has me worried about him starting a new school but he'll make new friends and love his school before too long. Me however? For only the second time in my teaching career, I am not excited for the new school year. The first time was because the principal I worked for was a bully and I dreaded going to work, knowing I had a target on my back. Without going into details, I will assure you that is not the case this year. I have nothing but the utmost respect for my current principal. It's just a year that I'd be ok with being a substitute at the boys' school or a stay at home mom/photographer. But this too shall pass and when I start to get frustrated with things, I will think back on all the fun we had this Summer...and look forward to next Summer. Only 9 more months and counting!
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