Words

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." I used to say that a lot as a kid, but, as an adult I don't think a more false statement could be made. Words hurt. Recently, someone I used to respect made some mean, negative comments about me to a good friend of mine. The words hurt probably more than they should have. I lost sleep over them. I cried because of them. My stress induced eczema flared up as a result of them. But, then in the past week words of encouragement have been spoken to me, words that have helped my wounds hurt.
Last week we had teenage girls staying with us. One of them told me, "When I get married I want a marriage like yours. You and Rob have so much fun together." Later she told me she also wanted to be a mom like me because she loves that I spend so much time with the boys and that I make homemade dinners most nights. Then this week, I was once again told that I am a good mom, that the person admired all the fun stuff I do with the boys.
It is important to Rob and I that our boys are not "screen kids". We don't want them spending their Summer vegging in front of the TV or playing video games. So I spend our days doing fun stuff. Fun stuff costs money (and I am currently unemployed) so I pride myself in finding cheap/free things to do. For example, yesterday we met our cousins at the mall because they had vendors set up with free events. At 2 of the events, the kids could win a certificate for a Cane's kids meal and a Chick Fil A card for an ice cream or cookie. So, after playing games and riding the free carousel ride twice we enjoyed a free lunch. I only had to pay for my lunch. Today I paid a small fee for the boys to do an open gym hour and then we doubles a coupon and gift card to get free ice cream.
In the evenings, when Rob gets home from work, our yard/house is full of neighborhood boys. Rob either plays baseball with them in the front yard or plays with them in the pool. Our boys fall into bed, exhausted, every night. We want them to be active because, during the school year, they have to sit inside for 7+ hours a day, 5 days a week. We pride ourselves in being hands-on parents, that make memories with our boys on a daily basis.
I'm going to be honest....I'm still working on putting those hurtful words behind me. But, being complimented for a good marriage and being a fun mom has sure gone in a long way in helping that process. Words can hurt but they can also make someone's day. So, my little tidbit of advice for you (which I need to follow as well)...think before you speak. If your words don't build someone up, they're probably not worth saying.

Father's Day

Today is a special day because it honors the fathers in the world. It honors their hard work, lessons taught, time spent with their children, unconditional love given and so much more. Today, and every day, I realize how blessed I am to have a wonderful dad, husband and father-in-law.

"I loved her first.

I held her first

And a place in my heart will always be hers.

From the first breath she breathed

When she first smiled at me

I knew the love of a father run deeps..."

This is the song my dad and I danced to at our wedding and I love it because it's so true. For me my dad was the first man for many things in my life...to hold me, to tell me I was beautiful, to demonstrate God's unconditional love and grace, to show me how my husband should treat me. He taught the importance of living a godly life. To this day, one of the things I love (and admire) most about him is how patient he is. I remember, growing up, how he'd spend HOURS playing Monopoly with me or tutor me in math. To this day my dad listens, gives advice but doesn't pass a lot of judgement. To me he exemplifies Jesus in so many ways and I am so blessed to call him "Dad".

My husband and I have very different parenting style, but over the course of the past 10 years I've come to appreciate that, while different, we have the same goals in mind with raising our boys. I have learned to sit back and enjoy the rough housing. I love watching the boys wrestle with Rob and getting thrown in the pool by him. I love watching them play ball in the front yard together. I love that he teaches them about hunting and fishing, something that they enjoy doing together. He teaches them things I either don't enjoy or know nothing about so we balance each other out. One of the things I love most about him is his work ethic. He is a hard worker and gives 110% of himself to his job every day. He constantly demonstrates the value of hard work to the boys.

My father in law and I have become closer in recent years. He spoils us and spends time with the boys. Recently, he has embraced the boys' love of baseball by taking them to the local ball park to play ball with them. He gets crickets and takes them fishing. He cooks the best meals! His breakfasts are better than a restaurant's. But my new favorite is the maple salmon and asparagus he makes. The best thing about him, though? His big bear hugs. I remember after the flood. I hadn't cried, I had held it together....until he got to my inlaw's house. My father in law greeted me at the door with a hug and I just cried and cried. He held me in a big bear hug and let me cry until I felt better.

I don't take for granted that these men are such important people in mine and the boys' lives. I appreciate that each of them brings something different to our lives, but that they all bring unconditional love. I know that we are blessed not just today, but every day, to be loved by these men.

"He never looks for praises

He's never one to boast.

He just goes on quietly working

for those he loves the most."

Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful fathers out there!!

11 years and counting....

Yesterday, we celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary. Since we don't go on too many dates and we only exchange gifts on Christmas and our birthdays, we usually celebrate our anniversary big. This year, however, was different. Rob had to finish up preliminary exams because he is going to be donating his kidney to his best friend. Since we had appointments (I had to talk to a psychologist to make sure I was capable of taking care of him post-op) on Thursday we decided to spend the day together...at the hospital. In between appointments, we had lunch at the infamous Mayflower Café and drove around downtown. Yesterday, on our actual anniversary, my anniversary dinner (Rob opted not to eat) consisted on PARDS ballpark nachos while we watched E's doubleheader. To me, even though we didn't do anything big, it was the perfect celebration!
It was perfect because we spent the day together, just hanging out. It was perfect because, on our actual anniversary, we spent it as a family. This past year or so has been hard for me personally/professionally. But, during this time, I have fallen more in love with Rob and have really come to cherish our family time together. Rob is my confidant, my voice of reason, someone who can make me laugh, who listens (most of the time..ha!), is my cheerleader, defends me but also lets me know when I am in the wrong, cuddles me when I need to cry, goes on walks with me because I just need to get fresh air to think straight, is almost always the first to say "sorry" and lets me be me without passing judgment. The other night I got fed up and used social media to spout off about something. I showed it to Rob and he was quick to tell me it wasn't appropriate and I needed to delete it. I appreciated that, in a loving way, he told me I was wrong.
You know the thing that I have loved most about him lately? He has been planning family trips and fun things to do as a family. For the first 8 years of our marriage, he was a lineman so he missed out on a lot. I got used to doing things with just me and the boys. But, over the course of the past 3 years that has changed. I love that we do things as a family. And I love even more that he plans some of the stuff.
I am not doing the "social media-everything-is-perfect" type blog. We have our days where we've had our fill of each other. We have times when we don't see eye to eye. But, in recent months, the good days far outweigh the bad. The laughter exceeds the arguments. We're at a peak and I sure hope we stay here for a long time to come because I can't wait to spend the next 11 years with this man!

People First

Back in 2002 I took a break from teaching and worked at a non-profit agency that helped adults with disabilities. While working there, I learned the importance of putting people first instead of focusing on their disability. Words like "retarded" or "special needs person/kid" are spoken without thought. Those are words I have heard a lot this Summer. The word "retarded" to me is the same as hearing the "n-word"....like nails on a chalkboard. I understand that the Oxford definition of "retarded" means  "very foolish or stupid" but I don't know how many people take the time to look up the definition or just throw it out there on a regular basis. It's a word that my student know is not okay to say in front of me. It really bothers me.
This is why words and phrases like that chap my hide: People did not ask to be born a certain way. I look in the mirror and would love to change a few things about me (nose job anyone??). But by wishing that I am saying that God made a mistake when designing me and that is not true. Just like he did not make a mistake when he designed people with down syndrome or autism or a physical disability. GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES! What becomes important, as I've learned, is that EVERYONE has something to contribute to life, no matter how big or small it's deemed by society. Just because a person is non-verbal does not mean that person is not smart. A guy I worked with, Mr A, had autism and was non-verbal. Despite the fact that both of her parents were prominent lawyers, people viewed Mr A as dumb because he could not communicate. The organization I worked for worked tiredlessly in getting him a communication device. What a world that opened up for everyone when he got it! Talk about smart! Once Mr A was able to verbalize his thoughts and the people around him got to see just how intelligent he really was.
It is not okay, in my opinion, to make fun of or even make negative comments about the way God designed a person. Trust me, the person knows they have disabilities and, whether he/she likes it, those disabilities are part of the person. But put the person first and their disability last. Instead of finding the negative, find what that person's ABILITIES are. I bet you'll find quite a treasure if you just take the time to look a little deeper!

Summer Fun

We are 11 days into our Summer break and we've spent more than half of it out of town. We've already crammed 3 trips into the past 11 days. So our Summer is off to a great start!
Every Summer P becomes obsessed with something. Last Summer was American Ninja Warrior. This Summer it's baseball. We like to encourage things he's interested in so, despite baseball being my least favorite sport to watch, we have been to 2 baseball games already.
The first game was an impromptu trip to Houston, where we watched the Red Sox vs Astros. Rob planned the get away and it was a fun family weekend, in which we stayed at a nice hotel on the outskirts of Houston.
The second game was this past weekend and was unplanned as well. We were in MS for a wedding and a medical procedure for Rob so P and I fit in a minor league baseball game for a mother/son date. He enjoyed it because we sat right by the dugout, he got to run the bases after the game and he talked to a couple of the players. He also got a Braves hat, a program and a plastic helmet (that held ice cream). I enjoyed my time with our lil man, and enjoyed watching his enthusiasm for America's favorite past time.
In between baseball games we fit in doctor appts for P because he had taken a baseball to his eye and we were worried about any lasting repercussions. The x-rays and eye doctor appts both gave us a positive outcome so thankfully that's behind us. We also fit in P's last guitar lesson and E's t-ball games.
If that wasn't enough, we also fit in a quick camping trip to a local camping resort, Reunion Lake. Although we were there less than 48 hours, we made a lot of family memories. For me, the best part was watching P blossom! He killed it during his first attempt of karaoke (He sang "Hurricane" by Laine Hardy). He taught himself to paddleboard and kayak. AND he conquered the inverted climbing wall on the inflatable obstacle course! We were proud of his determination and perserverence. E was sick and never complained. He got sunburned (despite me lathering him every 2 hours with 50+ sunscreen) and never complained. He got very little sleep and never complained. All in all, it was a good family time.
Our lives slow down a TAD for the rest of the month and I am happy to report that I will be sleeping in my own bed more than I'll be sleeping elsewhere. I will be able to enjoy my French Press coffee in the morning and take a bath in my own bathtub.
I LOVE traveling and going on new adventures, and I am thankful for all of our family time. But there is something to be said for being at home as well. Looking forward to the rest of our Summer break and the memories we'll create at home and elsewhere

!