I'm a Cali girl. I was not raised in a hunting family. Not that I had anything against it (It's the same as fishing to me and my parents love to fish.), but I wasn't experienced or knowledgeable about hunting. Enter my husband's family. They LOVE everything about hunting. From October 1 through January 31 you can pretty much find them at their deer camp. Until this year, it has been a bone of contention between me and my husband. But, early on in our marriage I tried to like hunting. My husband LOVES it so I thought I'd try it. I had shot 2 deer and didn't understand the hype, the excitement. Then 5 years ago I made a bad shot. I was hunting by myself for the first time. I wasn't paying attention to the does so I killed the smallest one. Not only did I kill one that was too young but I made a really bad shot, causing the deer to suffer. I put down my MIL's rifle that night and swore I'd never hunt again. My husband and FIL tried to console me, told me that everyone can make a bad shot (I guess it's like hooking a fish in the eye??). But I had no desire to hunt. No one pestered me to hunt again. They understood that I had to work through that bad hunt.
Two weeks ago I told my husband that I finally thought I was ready to hunt again. We have been getting our meat processed at this great place and I want a freezer full of meat. (The first time I've felt like this since moving here.) So, two weeks ago my husband and youngest son accompanied me to the shooting house but I quickly kicked them out because they were making too much noise. I didn't see any deer that day and I was okay with that. I just enjoyed being in the woods. This past weekend I told my husband that I wanted to hunt again. So, on Friday afternoon, I went by myself to the shooting house. About an hour after I got there, two does walked out right in front of me. Does are off limits this time of year because it's the rut and they could already be pregnant. I sat there, watching them. Not even 10 minutes after they showed up, I heard heavy footsteps coming up the hill toward me. Before long an 8 point buck stood under the shooting house. My heart was beating so hard that I thought the deer would hear me. It was the first time I've had a good buck that close to me. I watched him as he walked about 50 yards out in front of me. I watched as he flirted with one of the does. I didn't have a good shot and I was not about to chance another bad one. I had everything ready in case he did get in a position where I was comfortable pulling the trigger. After what seemed like forever, he turned in a way I knew I'd have a clean shot. I rehearsed all the things in my head that my husband had told me, "Take a deep breath and let it out slowly......Squeeze the trigger.....Aim small behind the shoulder.....Keep the gun aimed even after you shoot..." I repeated those thoughts again and again until I knew I was ready. I did just as I was taught as my adrenaline went into overdrive. My buck dropped right where I shot him, not feeling an ounce of pain. I immediately texted my husband and father in law, letting them know I had killed a buck. My youngest son wanted to give up his afternoon hunt to come see my buck. My husband couldn't get to me fast enough, a huge smile on his face when he pulled up on the golf cart. When I got back to camp, my in-laws were there to greet me, congratulating me on my buck. My oldest son was anxious to come look at it and congratulate me. They were all so happy for me!
It felt good. I can't say that I'll ever crave hunting. I went to the shooting house the next day, just to sit there and watch nature. I wanted to watch deer in their element but I had no desire to shoot one that day. Whether I ever shoot another deer or not, I have to say that I am proud of myself for overcoming my fear. I am proud that, although I still visualize that poor deer that I killed 5 years ago, that wasn't the last one I killed. I now understand the excitement of hunting because, quite honestly, this is the first deer that I am SUPER proud of. I am proud that, when I open our deep freeze, I can say I provided some of that meat for my family. It was a great way for me to start 2020...overcoming a fear and being proud of myself!
