Oh, Life!

I don't know if I'm in a lull with this blog or over it. But, as you can tell, I haven't blogged in months. Not because I don't have anything to blog about but because I don't know what I want to say.

We are well into the school year and it's been yet another busy one. P did well with his XC season and has colleges recruiting him. He is on the Bass Fishing team with a new partner and, while both of them are decent anglers, they have yet to catch any fish during their Fall tournaments. He is getting used to high school, but I don't know how different it is since his middle school was in the same building. I can say that we will ALL be celebrating when he graduates high school in a few years and this chapter is behind us! Not because I want him grown up and out of the house, but because this is such an awkward phase in life. I feel like I'm reliving high school all over again and my own insecurities from my teenage years have resurfaced.

E is on a new baseball team and is gelling with his teammates. Even though they are a new team, they went to the semi-finals every tournament and even came in 2nd place for one of the tournaments! Fall Ball was a little more than I anticipated, but it's fun to see his self-confidence back in full force. He eats, breathes and sleeps baseball. He is doing well in school and has adjusted well to having 3 teachers opposed to 1.

We have not had more than one relaxing weekend since school began. This week we were in Nashville for the first part of the week. I thought that we'd relax once we got home but that has not happened. Actually, that is not true. Thanksgiving was the most relaxing day we've had in awhile. Other than a fairly quick lunch at Rob's cousin's house, we laid low around our house. It was glorious!

There's so many more gaps to fill in from the past few months, but this time change is still messing with me and I am tired. So, goodnight y'all. Maybe it won't take me so long to blog again. But then again, maybe it will....

Oh, What a Summer!

This Summer has been one for the books! It's one that I want to remember forever. Although we did A LOT of fun stuff, it was the first Summer since the boys were little that they got along more like friends than brothers. Did they have their moments? Of course. But, 95% of the time they got along and it was absolutely GLORIOUS! 

The icing on the cake was all of the things we did. We started the Summer by fishing the MS River and taking my brother in law's new-to-him boat out to go tubing. The week that followed was busy because we cheered on our school's baseball team when they made school history by advancing to the state championship series. P and I left the game to drive to Alabama to meet up with one of my closest college friends and her sweet parents for dinner. Then Rob and I escaped for a few days to the beach, just the two of us, before the boys joined us. The following weekend was bittersweet because it was Keigan's funeral and then a fishing tournament that we put together to help Keigan's and Lou's families with medical expenses incurred from their ATV accident. Father's Day weekend was the only weekend we really laid low and that's because it stormed all weekend. Rob worked crazy long hours, but we did get to celebrate him on Father's Day. One of my favorite things of the Summer was the following weekend when we went to Uncle Fred's farm. I have grown to enjoy fishing, but it's not my most favorite thing in the world to do. However, that weekend was, hands down, the most fun I've ever had fishing. E, Rob and I got up early to go out on the lake. And, boy, was it worth it! Every time E or I casted our lines we were catching bass. We were laughing so hard because I refuse to touch the fish, but he was struggling to deal with all the fish he and I were bringing in. Within a couple hours, we had caught about 40 bass! Needless to say, we had a fish fry while we were at the farm. A few days after getting back from the farm, the boys and I made a day trip to Denham. We spent time with friends that we hadn't seen in almost a year and P got to go to Youth Group, which he loved. The last weekend of the month was spent celebrating P's bday with a "surprise" trip to watch the Atlanta Braves play. I had tried so hard to keep it a secret but the boys looked through my phone the day before the game and saw the tickets. Despite it not being much of a surprise, we still had a lot of fun watching Warren Zeiders before the game and then watching the Braves dominate the game with several home runs. 

July was pretty much spent in Cali, visiting family and friends. We did spend the first Saturday of the month tubing, grilling on the boat and watching fireworks. We also celebrated P's birthday by fishing and going to his favorite restaurant for dinner. After that we flew to Cali, where we fished some more (Are you seeing a theme for this Summer?). We also got to spend time with my brother and his family at Great Wolf Lodge. And I LOVED spending a day at my favorite place....the mountains! But, hands down, my favorite part of our time there was surprising my parents with a belated 50th anniversary dinner with family and a few close friends. Last Fall I had planned on surprising my parents by flying to SD to help them celebrate their special anniversary. But, due to unforeseen circumstance, they had to cancel their trip as did we. So, my brother, SIL and I planned an intimate dinner at my parents' favorite restaurant. It was so much fun to, not only see them surprised, but see people lovingly celebrate them.

We got back home a few days ago and now reality is setting in. I am fast and furiously trying to finish up some big house projects that have taken longer than anticipated. Have you ever peeled wallpaper? Oh the joys! (It makes me rethink the newest fad of adding wallpaper to rooms to add flair.) I have also been working in my classroom, getting ready for the new school year, while trying to catch up on things at the house and squeeze in a last few fun times with the boys. I can't remember the last time a Summer flew by as fast as this one did! I am looking forward to the slower pace that Fall can bring, but I'm not quite ready to end this awesome Summer. Like I said, it was one of the best!

Almost 14!

 To Our Oldest Son,

Tomorrow you will turn 14. Next year's birthday will bring your driving permit and the following year your driver's license. 4 birthdays from now you'll be off to school to become a game warden OR to fish the Elite Series, on your way to becoming a professional angler. But, it seems like just yesterday that I was holding you in the hospital, in awe of your little newborn fingers and toes.

They say you don't truly know what love is until you have kids and I believe that to be true. We've had an undeniable bond ever since you were born and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. Your birth was so easy, but when you got so sick as a newborn, I quickly learned how strong and resilient you were.

I see that same strength and resilience today. Sometimes I feel that you take backseat to your brother's athletic talent and quick wit. You get the brunt of things sometimes. Yet you grin and bear it and move on, while I overcompensate. I do that because I don't want you to ever see yourself as less than anybody else. You have SO much going for you!

You absolutely amaze me with your wealth of information. Whether it be sports stats, fishing lure action or historical war facts, you have a memory that I am incredibly envious of! I tell you all the time that you could be a sports commentator and I mean it. You know more than most adults do about almost every sport.

God blessed you with a beautiful singing voice and musical ability (and ability to remember the correct lyrics...unlike your mom and little brother). I love sitting next to you in church and listening to you sing the worship songs/hymns. But when you pull out your guitar to play and sing...be still my heart! You could easily make it in the music industry (although I pray that that isn't something you do because it can be an ugly world).

Your ability to fish the way you do has me in awe. From what I've heard, it's hard to go to new fishing spots and catch fish, yet you make it look easy. You spend all your extra money on lures and rods/reels. But the way you research them and then use them to catch fish is so cool to me. Yes, I do get tired of hearing about them or watching lure "action" but it's because that's not my thing. It'd be like me talking to you about the romance novels I read. You would be bored. But that doesn't mean I don't find the way you use all this information to follow your passion extremely interesting because I do.

You're at a quirky age. I get it. At times I see the little boy in you come out in your silly ways. At other times I see you working toward adulthood when you'd rather surround yourself with older people instead of people your own age. You're starting to find your way in this big world. You're talking more about your future goals and adulthood. You're starting to mature in the way you handle difficult situations. While all of this makes me incredibly happy, a part of me is sad because it means you're growing up.

I have loved all stages on your life, watching you grow and learn. But I really like this current stage. I love watching you become a gentleman (Buying me flowers with your own money the other day at Kroger is something I hope I remember forever because it meant the world to me!), learning to put others first. I love your sarcastic sense of humor that I so easily relate to because I have the same off-kilter humor. I love how passionate you are about so many things. I love how protective you are of your dogs, checking on them every night before you go to bed to make sure they're both ok. I love that you are such an awesome big brother, teaching E things and watching out for him. I love that you still enjoy cuddling with me and that you talk to me more than the average teenage boy talks to his mom about so many different things. I don't take for granted how open you are with me.

Kid, you're going to make it in this world! You'll have bumps and bruises along the way, but you have everything it takes to make it. I pray daily that you'll live a life that is pleasing to God and that you will grow closer to Him even when the circumstances aren't ideal for growth. You do that and you'll go far in life!

I am so very proud of you, the kid that you were and the man you are becoming. I love you with every ounce of my being and hope I show that to you every day (even though you're the one who is so quick with "I love you Mama".) You are so, so incredibly special and one of a kind. God hit it out of the park when He created you and please know that you have blessed so many people with your 14 years here on Earth. You are loved beyond measure! Thank you for giving me my most important job title in life...Mom. I love you more than you'll ever know.

Love,

Mom (aka Mama, Bruh)

Father's Day

It makes me sad to think that some people don't know who their dad is, especially because I've been blessed with one of the best. From the time I was young I remember my dad always being there for me. He's always been a great listener and patient as the day is long. He's a natural leader, one who respects others and expects respect in return. He is one of the most non-judgmental people I've ever met and is quick to forgive. When people have wronged him he has been quick to look at the lessons learned from the situation or has forgiven them. Don't get me wrong. He may be quick to overlook people's faults, but he's not a pushover. He'll confront people and attempt to talk out issues when needed. But, overall, he's an easy going guy who knows life is too short to sweat the smaller things.

He's always been a hands-on dad. I used to lay on his lap in the evenings, watching TV. Or we'd pull out a board game (I personally liked Monopoly) to play. He'd lead us in family devotions and read to us. When he went on business trips, he'd bring home rental cars that always lead me and my brother on treasure hunts for the loose change that "people" would drop all around the car. As I got older, his hands-on roles became different. In high school, he spent endless hours helping me with Math (to no avail). He helped me obtain my first job at a local flower shop. He took me out on Father/Daughter dates.

Now, as a mom to two adolescent boys, he's quick to give me parenting advice. He listens when I call just to chat or when I need help solving a problem. He prays with me over the phone. And, at the end of most phone calls, he says, "You know if you need anything, day or night, all you have to do is call." That simple statement speaks volumes for how he wants me to know he's always available to help me no matter how old I get or how far away I live.

Speaking of where we live, he (and my mom) have always made it a point to visit us at every house we've lived at so he can see where we live and create memories in our space. It's important to him to support us (even when he doesn't agree with us) and to see for himself where we call home. 

He enjoys being a hands-on grandparent to his 4 grandkids. When we visit him, he teaches the boys new things. He plays tennis with them and watches them play ball in the backyard. He sets up the tent so they can have campouts in their backyard, which is always a favorite of the boys. He takes them fishing and helps get the catfish off the hooks when the boys aren't comfortable doing it. He talks sports with P and asks him questions to engage him and learn from him. But, most importantly, he invites the boys to do nightly devotions with him and my mom. He has always known his role as a spiritual leader. He's led by example with his quiet, yet undeniable, faith in God. He is quick to give God the glory and pray for others. The boys see that and, I pray, learn from that.

So, today and every day, I am thankful for my dad. I am thankful for the example he's provided for me and my brother ever since we were little. I am thankful that he's always been there and continues to support us, even as adults. I know it sounds cliche, but my dad is my hero and I am so thankful that God blessed me with him.

Perfection

 I feel like I've blogged about this before so if I have, forgive me. I am no longer a beach person. I enjoy different aspects of the beach, but the "sand in your toes, saltwater in your hair" feeling is not my thing anymore. One thing I thoroughly enjoy, however, is scouring the beach for seashells. Last weekend Rob and I went to the beach to celebrate (early) our 15th anniversary.  We had a couple kid-free days there, which we enjoyed. During our 48 hours alone we went to the beach once and that was only for a few minutes. However, once the boys arrived, we more than made up for the time on the beach. E taught himself how to skimboard and P, being a teenage boy, got the attention of a few girls (much to his delight). 

Me? I spent the time looking for shells. The boys know how much I like collecting seashells so they got in on the action as well. The thing is that when I look for shells I only collect the absolute perfect ones. If there is any type of flaw or the shell looks too ordinary I toss it back. The boys will collect any shell that grabs their attention and get excited about adding it to my collection. 

While walking on the beach I reflected on this. It's much like how I view life. I am a perfectionist...to a fault. I put a lot of undue pressure on myself to do everything as perfectly as possible. Unfortunately, I push those expectations onto others in my life as well....my family, my students, people I come across on a daily basis. And I get frustrated when my expectations are not met. But the boys still see the good in others and not their imperfections. Yes, they will make comments about people or things they observe. But, they don't expect perfection from people. 

I need to learn a lesson from them and from the seashells. There's beauty in every shell and every person. Sometimes we have to look a little harder to see the good, but it's still there. Not everything has to be perfect to be enjoyed. If the service is a little slow at a restaurant that just means we have more time to visit or enjoy the relaxation. If a student doesn't do a perfect job on their test then I hope they learned from their mistakes. If I don't complete a task perfectly the first time I have the chance to fix it or start over. I need to start looking at things from a different perspective because life is too short to stress about imperfections. Just like the seashells, everything in life has its own beauty and its own style of some sort of perfection.

Miracles and Saying Goodbye

 A couple weeks ago, on a warm Thursday morning, I was waving goodbye to my students for the last time this school year when a text from Rob came through. It was a picture of my side by side laying on its side, with "They're fine but both are scared and crying.". It's a picture that no one wants to get, but I have thanked God on more than one occasion that both boys walked away from the accident with only some road rash. (Actually, one RAN away because he was scared that the cops were going to come! HA!) The boys were driving to their favorite fishing hole, which is about 2 blocks from our house. When they tried to make the turn, a water bottle was lodged under the brake pedal so they turned at about 25mph. I am incredibly THANKFUL that it wasn't worse!

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case for an ATV accident that happened a mere three days later. Two kids were diving a 4-wheeler in between their houses when a car hit them from behind. Both kids were airlifted to the local hospital. Sadly, the 6 year old boy did not live. Praise Jesus, the 10 year old girl was discharged from the hospital yesterday. The little boy went to our school and his mom works there. I didn't  know him all that well but we parked next to him, his mom and his big brother every morning. They'd get out of the car at the same time as us and little Keigan always had a huge, infectious grin on his face. He held the door open for us and would skip into school as if it was his favorite place to be. 

When I first got the text about the accident, I asked Rob if we could stop by the hospital on our way home from the river to give hugs. I didn't know what we would find, but knew I wanted to be there to offer prayers and support. Not surprisingly, Keig's mom was not outside the hospital but we were able to get updates from co-workers and the little girl's family. (Her grandpa was covered in the kids' blood.) I prayed for 48 hours non-stop that God would provide a miracle and pull sweet Keigan out of his coma. We had a prayer vigil at the school, where at least 150 people attended. But, God had other plans and took him from this Earth last Tuesday afternoon. Since then, the community has come together even more to support each other, his mom and brother. Yesterday the school hosted a rock painting party to create a rock garden in Keigan's honor. Today was his visitation and tomorrow will be his memorial service. The service will be at a large local church because that boy touched so many lives in his short almost 7 years of life. He was a kind, sweet young boy who will be missed so incredibly much!

While I'm grieving the loss of Keigan, I am thanking the Lord that He spared our boys. I can't fathom the heartbreak that Virginia is going through, knowing she will never hold Keigan again. But I am not taking for granted the fact that I can hold and hug our boys whenever I want. Life is short so please make sure you hug your loved ones a little tighter and a little longer....

End in Sight....

 Some people count down until Christmas. Me? I'm counting down until our son is officially done with middle school. And in case you're wondering. It's 5. Actually it's 5 1/2 days but that 1/2 day is just tests so I'm considering it 5 days left that he has to endure. It's not been easy. In fact, from beginning to end it's been a challenge. He has struggled...academically, socially, mentally, spiritually. Really, all of the above. But, I've always been a firm believer that if someone can endure middle school they can overcome anything. In my opinion, jr high is the frustrating years of life. The ones where you don't know if you're coming or going. The ones where you don't know if you act like the kid that you are or the adult society is trying to make you into.

When he was little I worried about him physically. Would he get hurt riding his little car down a flight of stairs? (Surprisingly, the answer is no.) Would he fall and bust up his knee when learning to walk? Yes, a few times. Would he get a concussion playing sports? Unfortunately, yes. I naively thought that as he got older I would worry less. But, the type of worrying has gradually changed. I went from worrying about his physical well being to his mental well being. Thankfully, we have an open and very close-knit relationship so he talks to me about things that most middle school boys probably don't talk to their parents about. He knows I'll listen. He knows I'll give him advice. But, more than anything he knows I will love him unconditionally. Even when he's moping. Even when he's acting like a typical teenage boy. Even when he's talking a mile a minute or flopping all over the ground. Even when he's giving me the silent treatment. He knows he's loved. He also knows I pray for him continually. I pray WITH him and I pray FOR him. Knowing he's loved, knowing he's prayed for and knowing he's secure at home has been the glue that has held us all together during the past few years.

But, praise Jesus, the end is in sight! We only have a few days left and then I can guarantee you that we're going to celebrate BIG that he is officially done with middle school! The best years of his life are yet to come.....

55 Days

I think this is the longest I've gone without blogging. I think about writing a blog every week but I haven't made it a priority. If I wasn't writing all of this for our boys to have as memories of their childhoods, I probably would've stopped blogging by now. But, alas, I want them to remember the good, the bad and the ugly.

Now that the weather is warming up, our schedules are ramping up again. Between fishing tournaments and baseball tournaments, we are busy every weekend. Over Spring Break, my parents came to visit us. We had fun going to Laurel (where my dad became besties with Erin Napier's mom), fishing, shopping and eating lots of good food. It was one of those visits that I wish could have gone on forever. 

They left to go back home a week ago and since they left P has fished a tournament and E has had his first baseball tournament. P and his fishing partner didn't catch a fish because it was soooooo cold outside. Every tournament is a challenge and a learning experience. So I have no doubt that, by the time he's a senior, he'll be good enough to be scouted for the Bass Master circuit. E is struggling on his new baseball team and it makes us wonder if we made the best choice, yet again, for which team was a good match for him. Last season it was hard to watch him because he pretty much carried the team and was a one man show. This season it's hard to watch him because his confidence in his playing ability has faded, despite all the time he puts into practicing his skills. 

In between fishing tournaments and baseball tournaments, we've got some trips planned for the weekends we don't have to be at a tournament. I love this time of year because of all the fun that we have. It's also an exhausting time of year because our schedule is always full. Last week I was able to squeeze in dinner with a friend. But, usually, we are booked every day with appointments, practices, church, errands, etc. So forgive me if I don't blog a lot. I'll get it done but it may be 55 more days before it happens. 

When I Get Where I’m Going

 I know I’ve blogged this before, but death is not something I think about. I live my life the best I can, create as many memories as possible and know where I am going when I die. But, in the past 48 hours I have had two people I know pass away. One was not an unexpected death but he was our age. He was divorced and didn’t have any kids. The other death was very unexpected. He had been married 42 years and had a few grown children and lots of grandchildren/great grandchildren. I can say that both men had a quiet, but strong faith in the Lord. I can say they both served in the military. I can say that I respected both men and that they were both kind to everyone. Other than that, I can’t give you a lot of information about either men, despite having them over for dinner (one was technically at our house when I was growing up) on an occasion or two. 

That got me to thinking about when I pass away. So often people are glorified in their death. Everybody becomes their friend (sadly, this seems to be more the case the more tragic the death is). When I pass away I want people to keep it real when speaking of me and my life. I don’t want people to say I was patient or the life of the party. I want people to say I was flawed, but tried to be the best I could every day. I want people to say that there was no doubt that I loved my family and friends. I want students to say that I held high expectations of them but that I respected them and pushed them to do their best. I don’t want people to make me seem like someone I wasn’t. I don’t want “friends” to come out of the woodwork who can’t say much about me. The older I get, the more I realize that having a few true, close friends are more important that having a lot of “friends” who barely know me. As this quote says, 

1. “It’s not what we have in life, but who we have in our life that matters.” — Unknown

Suckers!

If you know me, you know a few things about me:

1. I am my mother’s daughter in many ways (especially with money).

2. I love supporting small businesses….when they deserve it.

3. I believe in hard work and being fair.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way let me give you the story. We wanted to start doing some renovation/updating projects around the house. A lot of them we are tackling ourselves. But some of them are out of our realm of expertise so we asked for recommendations for people to help with those projects. For the most part we’ve had some great people- a landscaper who pruned back a lot of our front bushes, two different plumbers who installed our kitchen sink and fixed a water pressure issue. But we’ve had quite a time finding someone to renovate our bathroom. So when a friend recommended her son, who has his own handyman business, we thought it was a great idea. My first clue that it may not have been a good match for us is when he was over 2 hours late to give us a quote. But, when he did show up, he gave us a very reasonable quote for several jobs and said it would only take a couple days to tear out our bathroom floor and replace it with tile. *sigh* It didn’t happen that way….at all. He was very unreliable and it became clear pretty early on that he wasn’t the expert I thought he was. I’m not going into too much detail about all the chaos that led to a less than stellar job. But I will tell you that I’m always conscientious about money. This time it wasn't necessarily about the money. It was more about the fact that we got suckered into paying  WAY more than we would have for a licensed contractor. AND the guy was paid in full before the job was completed to my satisfaction so our bathroom will not be something I love for the time being. He ruined the door frames and the paint job that I spent hours on. On the flip side, we are going to completely remodel the bathroom at some point. So we will hire a licensed contractor who has experience and hopefully he will fix these flooring issues when that happens. And, on the bright side, Rob and I will basically be the only ones who will see it. So, lessons learned for the future- business with friends isn’t always the best choice, don’t always hire the most reasonably priced quote, don’t pay for the job until it is complete and plan on it taking longer than planned. *sigh* Our new bathroom….

Before….

Before….

                                     During….

                                      During…..

Finished bathroom area….. 🥲

If you don’t look too close, it doesn’t look that bad. *sigh*

Real Life HGTV

 My new favorite channel is HGTV. I watch a lot of “Home Town” and “Love It or List It”…and our boys tease me about it all the time. But, since buying an older, outdated house the ideas I’ve gotten from those shows have been helpful. When we first moved in, I made a list of all the things I’d like to change or fix. I pulled up the list the other day and was pleasantly surprised with how much we’ve already done. Don’t get me wrong, we still have a lot more updating and repairs to complete but it’s really starting to come together and I’m thankful for all that we’ve been able to do already. We’ve done a ton of small things like changing out light fixtures and mirrors, cleaning up the yard/pulling up unwanted plants, changing up the front porch and painting…. to large things like remodeling our bathroom and building a fence. Above are just a few of our DIY home improvement projects:

(Next up….new flooring and a new dishwasher from this century.)