So In Love
Around this time of year I get nostalgic as Rob and I approach our wedding anniversary. I take time to reflect on the things that made me fall in love with him in the first place. Over the course of time some of those things have changed or dwindled, but I find myself falling in love with him for different reasons these days (like when he comes in from a hard day of work and immediately swoops the boys up to play with them). Some of the reasons I fell in love with him....
* He treated me like a princess every day, like I was the most important person on the face of the Earth.
* He wrote me heartfelt, thought out love notes on a regular basis.
* Not a month would go by where he didn't send me flowers just because.
* He ALWAYS opened EVERY door for me.
* I couldn't say I wanted something because he'd immediately buy it for me.
* He would come to Sacto regularly, even on little sleep, to spend time with me, my parents and my friends, wanting to be part of my world.
* He'd take care of me, especially if something was broken. He'd either fix it himself or take care of all the details to have it fixed.
* He was a spiritual leader, (wearing a suit to church was important to him), reading the Bible with me, leading us in prayer together.
* He'd make me laugh so hard, but was there when I needed a shoulder to cry on.
* He cooked me meals and/or cake on occasion.
* He listened to me and was sympathetic to my situation, even if it wasn't important to him.
There are more reasons but the ones above are what really made me fall head over heels for him.
I remember when we were dating, we'd go for LONG drives just for the "fun" of it. I'm not a "riding in the car just because" kind of person. But, now looking back on it, I wish I would've enjoyed those times more. Just the two of us, with nowhere to go and no responsibilities to get us back home (i.e. dogs, kids). After getting married, we'd have Thursday date nights where we'd take turns picking what we did. I should remember these times more often, not just once a year. Marriage is hard but there are reasons people fall in love and it's important to not lose light of them.
A Crushed Soul
Parenting is my number one job. Do I do it right? Most days I do okay, some days I do great and other days are epic fails. Lately, P and I have been butting heads which isn't fun for me or him. Unfortunately, I am one of those "speak before thinking" kind of people. I hurt people WAY MORE often than I'd like and most of the time I don't realize I do it. My boys (Rob included) usually get the brunt of my tongue lashings. The other day P crawled onto my lap and said, "Last night I prayed that I would have a good day today so you wouldn't yell at me again." Talk about a stab right in the heart, the worst kind of wake-up call to a parent! His simple statement made me step back and realize that I need to be more tender hearted because I don't want to crush my young boys' spirits and I only get one chance to raise my boys. They both love life so much and I don't want to be the one that is always getting on them, making life miserable. I want to be an encourager, a source of gentle parenting. Even if they aren't the best at something I don't want to be quick with my words, putting them down. (An example is that P does these blood curdling screams for no reason and I'm quick to say, "Stop screaming like a little girl!"). Now I don't want to "sissify" my boys but I think there's a line between correcting behavior, teaching them right from wrong and crushing them with constant "Can't you do this right?", "I've told you 10 times so you should know better by now." Parenting is challenging. Some days I go to bed, beating myself for the way I did or didn't parent that day. But it's a trial and error process, one I hope to continue getting better at with every passing day because sticks and stones may break their bones but words will hurt way worse.
Cancer Sucks
I feel like my life is surrounded by cancer these days. So many people are being diagnosed and/or treated for it. When I was in Cali, I found out that one of my good college friends now has Stage 4 spinal cancer, with a 3-6mos life expectancy. She had first been diagnosed with breast cancer when she delivered her son 3 years ago. For the first year of HIS life, she was being treated for cancer. She had been in remission but then went to see her doctor when her hips and back kept giving her problems. They naively thought it was an alignment problem that would get better with some physical therapy. So, imagine their shock and surprise, to find out that she now has spinal cancer! The saddest part is that she has a 3 yr old son who really doesn't know his mom without the word "cancer" attached to her and, if God doesn't provide a miracle, he won't have any memories of his young mom. Her daughter is 6 yrs old and probably won't have a lot of memories of her mom that don't include dr visits or stays in the hospital or losing her hair. My heart breaks over and over for this sweet friend, a young mom, who has so much life ahead of her. IF you're a praying person please pray for my friend, Jen, and her husband JD and their kids, Daniel and Abby. After being in the hospital for 22 days, she got to come home for the weekend. The family was hoping that she'd feel up to visiting some of her favorite places in San Diego this weekend before starting her next round of chemo on Tuesday. They have a long road ahead of them, regardless of the outcome, so any prayers would be appreciated!
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| This is her, in the hospital, the day after she got her most recent diagnosis. |
Moments and Memories
The other day P started a conversation by saying, "Remember when Mimi watched Easton so you and Daddy could take me to bull riding?" That got us talking about all the fun things he's done in his young life. I started with the big stuff....SeaWorld, San Francisco, the circus, trips he's taken....and then I asked him if he could think of the favorite stuff he's done. For 35-40 mins he listed all the things he's loved doing and you know what? Very few of them included the "big things". His favorites included hiking with me and Rob to "King of the Mountain", going swimming with my mom at "Gee's hotel", getting frozen yogurt on hot days, going to multiple zoos, swinging in my parents' backyard for hours, climbing trees, camping, playing with various friends, a sleepover at Shay and Cahlie's (When Easton was born), Nick's football games, exploring at Bower's mansion. It made me realize that he doesn't have to do the big, expensive things to have fun (Although he and I are both dying to go to Disneyland/world before it loses the excitement for him!!). For him, the things he enjoys the most are moments spent together. Moments as a family, moments where we aren't distracted with technology, moments where he can learn and explore and just be a kid. I'm thankful for his reminder of the important things because it's times like this morning when he and I witnessed a brand new baby bird (which was still a little slimy) test its wings and fly that are special. Those are the moments that matter the most!
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