A Lost Art

DING! Ooh, who is texting me?
5? 5 Facebook Notifications? I wonder who commented on what.

I watched P talk to our elderly neighbor, telling her about his school day. But I noticed that he rarely made eye contact during the conversation. As we walked away I talked to him about looking someone in the eye when talking to them so they know that the conversation is important to you. I continue to reiterate the importance of showing someone you care about what they're saying by making eye contact when in a conversation. BUT THEN I NOTICED THE REST OF THE WORLD. How is my son to learn the value of eye contact when people rarely make it a priority anymore? People are too busy looking DUMB with their SMART phones to pay attention to the conversation right in front of them. I can walk through a store, the church hallway, even a family's house and see people more engaged with their phone than with the conversation at hand. I can't tell you how many times Rob and I have sat next to each other on the couch, after the boys are in bed, rehashing our day all the while looking at our phone screens. Who cares what Joe Schmoe is commenting about on Facebook? Especially when you haven't seen the guy since high school!! Technology is ruining the art of conversation and it's becoming a major pet peeve of mine.
Yes, there are days when the boys are on my last nerve and Rob is working late and I just want to vent. So it's easy to lose myself in Facebook, watching what everyone else is doing. But then I catch myself not giving my undivided attention to the conversation my 5yr old wants to have. It doesn't matter if I could care less about the latest episode of "Wild Kratts". It's important to him to it should be important to me. If nothing else because I'm teaching him a lost art....how to have a true, meaningful conversation.
I'm not sad that my text notification alert has mysteriously stopped functioning so I don't know someone has texted me unless I specifically look at it. (Maybe it's God's way of opening my eyes to how addicting my phone can be!!) I keep my phone volume turned up merely for the function of a phone. Yes I hear my email alerts ding and sometimes I have to stop myself from picking up my phone to check it immediately. But it's nice not being a slave to my phone. It's actually refreshing when I have to search for my phone because it's been a couple hours since I've used it.
I know I can't change everyone's behavior. It's not my job nor do I have the time or energy to do so. But I can change my behavior in hopes of modeling respectful behavior for my sons. If my boys are taught to answer with a "Yes Ma'am", "No Sir" then in my book those good manners must also be accompanied with eye contact. Let's bring back the lost art of conversation and learn how to engage in friendships, community and relationships again....and not just the ones online!