Who Needs a Kidney??

Back in December Rob's best friend called him and told him that, because of a hereditary issue, his kidneys were failing him. Rob got off the phone and asked if I had a problem with him being tested to see if he was a match to donate his kidney. I was quick to say no because I thought, in all honesty, that there was no way Rob would be a match. For several months, Rob went through every medical exam/test and psych evaluation to make sure he was going to be a match. The process is no joke! In mid Spring his donor coordinator let him know that he was indeed a match and that the surgery would take place the last week of May or first week of June. I booked the boys' and my annual trip to California for the month of July, thinking that would be plenty of time for Rob to recoup. One thing that I learned along the way is that at any time (even up to the time of surgery) the whole thing can be cancelled for any reason. So in the back of my mind I was still not wrapping my head around the reality of Rob giving up his kidney. Rob got a call mid May that there would be a couple more tests and another medical procedure just to be on the safe side. At this point Rob felt he was begging UMMC to take his kidney. They had put him through the ringer...and gave him the run around! A day before our anniversary we got word that it was 99% a go because we had done everything on our side (I say "we" because I had to complete a psych eval as his primary caregiver post-op). That was the same day that his best friend got word that his kidney function had dropped from 8% to 5% and he had to be put on dialysis immediately. We were discouraged to say the least. But the good news is that Jeff only had to be on dialysis a short time versus the rest of his life...or until a donor could be found. I was also discouraged because we found out that the surgery was going to be scheduled for Aug 1....a day after the boys and I landed in NOLA after being gone for 3 1/2 weeks. At that point I was unemployed and the only place I had put a resume in was at the boys' school (talk about limiting God!). I did not know if I would get a job and would report to start a new school year the day after Rob's surgery (which would have been today). All of this caused me anxiety, but it still wasn't real that Rob was going to undergo major surgery to donate his kidney to his best friend. It wasn't real until he point blank asked me, "Did you agree to this because you thought I wouldn't really be a match?" Guilty! But, while I was anxious about the time frame and the unknown, I had peace that we were doing the right thing (We being 95% Rob and 5% me). We had talked about it a lot as the testing progressed and I felt that we were a solid team.
While Rob was at peace, he likes to cover his bases. So he researched everything he could about the procedure and what to expect. He also met with our friend, a local pastor, to talk to him about speaking at his funeral if it came to that. I didn't like to think about that but was glad Rob felt the need to get everything in order just in case.
Fast forward to this week.....Rob and Jeff had a "Kidney Party" (for lack of a better term). It was a fish fry that, sadly, the boys and I had to miss out on due to the fact that we were still in Cali. But I knew that the men were surrounded by family, friends and lots of love. The boys and I landed in NOLA Wednesday night after a WONDERFUL trip to my parents' house. My stress induced eczema was in full flare up mode for the first time since the school year ended and I was running on limited sleep. We got to Rob's parents' house in time to unpack the car, pack a hospital bag and go to bed. 4:30am was going to come early! Rob's dad, Rob and I left at 5am yesterday morning to get there in time for prep. Jeff and his wife were already there and we were blessed to have a wonderful time spent in prayer before both men started the prep procedures. For the first time during this whole 8 month process, Rob was nervous. Not because he was doubting his decision but because he doesn't like to be put under. I met the surgeon and was informed that the surgery would last 1 1/2-2 1/2 hours. The OR nurse got my number and said she'd call periodically with updates.
45 minutes after I kissed Rob and watched him being rolled down the hall on a gurney, I got a call that the surgery had begun, that all was well and that she'd call within the hour with another update. Right after I hung up with her the local pastor back home that Rob had met with a couple months ago called to check in and let us know that we were covered in prayer. It was so comforting! I had Rob's phone so between his phone and mine, I never went more than a few minutes before getting a text from friends, checking in. Jeff's mom gave me a care package full of snacks, bottles of water and goodies. It brought tears to my eyes that she was so thoughtful and had put together the PERFECT care package. During the next phone call from the OR nurse updating me, I was told that the surgery would most likely last about an hour (which would've put the procedure around the 2- 2 1/2 hour mark). It was FREEZING in the waiting room so I got up to walk around and go get something to eat. Jeff's cousin saw me sitting by myself and came over to chat. She was so sweet and just the person I needed to talk to at that moment. At this point, it had been well over an hour since I had heard from the OR nurse and I was getting nervous. Thankfully, Rob's dad and brother were sitting beside me the whole time and helped calm my nerves. Jay (his brother) is a natural comedian so he had me laughing and my Father in Law has always had a calming effect on me. We were all on edge, however, by the time the OR nurse finally called. She said that they were 5 minutes from taking out Rob's kidney (the surgery should have been over by now) and there was noise in the background when she called, unlike the previous times. Despite her telling me everything was going well, the phone call shot my nerves to a whole new level. She told me I'd hear from her within 45 minutes that the surgery would be over and Rob would be in recovery. An hour later, I couldn't sit still and I was still freezing. So I went outside for some fresh air and to calm my frazzled nerves. Unbeknownst to me, the surgery ended and the surgeon had come in the waiting room to tell my Father in Law and Brother in Law that everything was good and Rob was in Recovery. (All the while I was outside, looking at my phone every 30 seconds, waiting for the OR nurse to call like she had promised.) When I came back in I got the good news....Rob had already woken up and the first thing he had said was "How is Jeff?". I went to tell Jeff's wife, mom, family and friends the good news and broke down crying. I knew he was going to be ok but it had been a stressful 4 hours to say the least. I couldn't wait to get to his room to see him! When he was wheeled into his room awhile later, I can honestly say I've never been so happy to see him.
Last night was rough. We were tired. Rob was in a lot of pain and we couldn't find a nurse to help out when we needed one. But we were also feeling blessed, honored and humbled to be part of this life-saving process! Every time I spoke with Jeff's mom she would start crying, thanking Rob for everything. This morning, before he was discharged (Yes, he's that tough that he was discharged within 24 hours of surgery! His pain tolerance is off the charts.), we were told by the donor coordinator that he was only the 7th living donor this year at that particular hospital and the first this year between two non-family members. No wonder everyone was treating him like a celebrity and the med students were salivating at the chance to be part of the surgery! When we left, Emily and I shared a big hug while we checked to make sure Jeff was doing well. (His body is already accepting Rob's kidney better than expected.)
I'm crying writing this because it's been such an emotional process. Rob and I are still exhausted. He is still in excruciating pain and he still has a long recovery ahead of him. But he has been asked more than once if he regrets doing this and he is very quick to say a resounding NO. I am blessed to be a small part of this whole thing, something that will make Rob, Jeff, Emily and I family for life. We have a bond that cannot be explained, a bond that I am humbled to be a part of. God is good and no miracle is too big for Him! From start to finish, this whole thing went exactly how it was supposed to and for that I am truly thankful!