When I was standing in the church choir loft this morning, my eye caught on our youth pastor's wife. She quietly sat there with tears streaming down her cheeks. This was going to be her first Mother's Day, but sadly, she miscarried right after they announced she was expecting. She has the biggest servant's heart so she selflessly grabbed a handful of roses and passed them out to the moms in the choir loft. My heart broke for her. I shed tears, wishing that the Lord had had different plans for them with their pregnancy. And it got me thinking. Every mother has some kind of story because every pregnancy is a miracle. Here is my story:
As a teacher, I have seen dozens of kids have a less than ideal home life. And it had always been my dream to adopt kids instead of having my own kids naturally. Until I was in my mid 20s. I kept getting unbearable abdominal pain and was diagnosed with endometriosis. After I had surgery to repair/remove/whatever they did to it, my doctor called me into his office and told me that I had to be prepared to not be able to get pregnant because my endometriosis was so severe. I left his office, crying, and called my mom. I told her what he had said and she said, "But I thought you wanted to adopt." I told her I had, but that was when it had been an option. I felt like I was being told I no longer had the option to bear my own children.
When things started getting serious with Rob, I told him there was a good chance I couldn't have kids because I wanted him to know everything before talking marriage. He said that we could cross that bridge when we got to it. So imagine my surprise when, 4 months after we got married, we found out I was pregnant. P was sick as a newborn and that carried on until his first birthday. It was a lot of stress as a new mom, who was also learning how to be a "nurse" to our baby. Rob was gone with work more than he was home so we decided that we'd wait to try for a second child. We got pregnant much faster than expected with P so we thought it'd take no time at all to get pregnant again. Wrong!
After P turned one and he was out of the woods with his medical concerns, we started trying again. We tried for over two years to no avail. Finally we decided to get medical assistance because my endometriosis was rearing its ugly head. The first time we tried in vitro I was not surprised in the least to find out I wasn't pregnant. But, the second time I would've bet the farm that I was pregnant. I craved Chinese food and couldn't get enough of it (something I usually only eat once or twice a year). My sense of smell was heightened like it was during my first pregnancy. I was so excited and took multiple pregnancy tests, which all came back positive. I was over the moon excited....until I was told that I was not pregnant. That my hormones had been elevated due to the in vitro process. I was devastated. But, we decided to try one more time. At this point, we had maxed out our credit card trying to get pregnant, so we decided that if I wasn't pregnant we would explain to P that we tried to make him a big brother but God had other plans. After the third attempt, I went for my blood work before school one morning. I didn't feel pregnant and was pretty confident that the third time had failed. Then the nurse called me a few hours later to tell me congratulations, that I was indeed pregnant. I was shocked beyond belief!
Now we have two very healthy boys. They're a little further apart in age than I had wanted, but that's okay. See, every mother has their own story. Mother's Day is not always an easy day for some because of their story. But, I am thankful for the miracle of life and for God's plan even when it is not our own.
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