coveted tag

after waiting forever, nevada dept of wildlife finally posted the draw results. i found out i drew a mule deer tag in a trophy area, an antelope tag in a trophy area, and a highly coveted bull elk tag. there are guys that have been putting in for 30 plus years for my area and have never drawn it. they only hand out 18 tags and the draw odds are 1-11. out of 400 plus applicants for my area i was one of the lucky ones. this is a once in a lifetime tag. i can never put in for this for the rest of my life. needless to say, i havent slept a wink hardly cause of the excitement. all the guys at work still cant believe i drew it. its in the jarbidge wilderness in northeast nevada. the largest wilderness area in the state. most of the bulls that are taken are over the 370" mark. its tough, rugged country that most say you need horses. i guess ill be packing what i can on my back and going in as deep as i can go and staying there till i get a bull. it will be extremely hard, tough hunting but since that its a lifetime opportunity, i believe its worth it. you can google jarbidge, nv and see some pics of the most beautiful, rugged steep country God ever made. some canyons are 4,000 ft deep and there are several peaks over 10,000'. i got my work cut out for me, but i plan on spending a few weekends up there between now and the end of august scouting it out. i plan to take a wall tent and set it up at the trailhead and make that my base camp. ill take a tent and food and water in with me on my back and when i get low of rations, ill hike back out to the base camp for food and water. the sources say youll hike all day to get in to where the elk are and once your there you will have to stay there for as long as your supplies last. its too far to hike in and out. if it were easy, it wouldnt be as rewarding. it would be nice to have a big ol bull on my wall and know that everytime i look at him i can reflect on the trials i endured to tag out. im not getting any younger so there is no time like the present to get er done. wish me luck, cause as of august 30th, ill be a mountain man for 10 days!

Finally!

As I've stated previously, our life seems to be chaotic and stressful right now. But one huge stress that has been lifted from our life is that we found a house! We were originally told that our house would close on the 15th so that's what we had planned for. On Friday we found out that the house is actually closing on the 11th instead, which sent me into a tailspin. I was a basketcase on Friday after finding out, crying at the drop of a hat. All weekend I got on every rental website that I could think of every 15 minutes. Monday I found a couple houses. We looked at one and Rob hated it. He said it was so gross that he felt he needed a shower upon leaving it. To say I was getting discouraged is an understatement. By a fluke (or God) thing we found another house that wasn't even on our radar. It's a little further out of town than I'd like but it's still 10 minutes closer to town that we currently are. Plus, it's all straight freeway miles so there won't be the wear and tear on our vehicles like we currently deal with. It's still rural living, which Rob likes. It has a creek on the property which P loves. And it's completely fenced with a huge garden tub in the master bedroom, which I like. Oh, and I like that it has grass and more than just pinion pine trees. Are we sacrificing some things by moving into it? Yes. The downstairs is small and the guest/P's bathroom is microscopic. But, all in all, it was by far the best rental we've found. I knew it was a God thing when the landlord told me how much the deposit was. It was almost exactly the same amount that we had saved (We have a few dollars to spare).

I was planning on taking pics today but had an unexpected car issue that I had to trade vehicles with Rob for. So I'll get down there to take pictures one of these days. Until then, I am so thankful that we have one less thing to stress about these days!

Happy Memorial Day!

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's." John 15:13

This morning I had the freedom to sleep in (Ok, who am I kidding? But, if I didn't have a toddler that woke with the roosters I would have). Later this morning we have the freedom to choose a house to rent. We have the freedom to go to the store of our choice to buy the groceries we want. Tonight we have the freedom to eat what we choose and watch what we want on TV or read the book we choose to read. All of this because of selfless soldiers that sacrifice daily for our freedom. When I cuddled with P this morning I thought of soldiers that haven't seen their children in months. When I set the thermostat to cool off the house, I realized that the soldiers that are fighting in other countries don't have that luxury. When I sat down to the breakfast cereal of my choice, I realized that soldiers overseas may not be able to do the same. So, my hat's off to the fine men and women that give so much and ask for so little in return. I hope that today you take a minute to reflect on the freedom that you've been given because of others.

Escape from Reality

Tonight's blog Take 2.....(I blogged earlier tonight and just at the end of it I hit a button that wiped it all out. In my tired stupor I didn't think to hit the "Go back" or "Undo" button to fix it so here I am again!)

I've long since learned that when I'm stressed out beyond belief I either cope by sleeping or crying. Between the stress of moving and trying to find a rental and the stress of our job situations all I want to do is curl up in the fetal position and make it all go away. In fact, today, I debated on whether 2 1/2 hrs was too long to drive to go to my parents' so I could lay on my mom's lap and have a good cry. But because I'm a mom, a wife and a teacher sleeping or crying all day is out of the question. That's why I was glad that I reluctantly agreed to escape reality last night by enjoying free tickets to a local baseball game. When Rob had called me yesterday morning to see if I wanted to go I honestly didn't want to. It was super windy and cold and I still have a lot to do in terms of packing (like all of it!). Plus I knew it'd get us home late and P to bed way later than usual. BUT, I also know how much P loves baseball and how much I needed a break away from the house. I'm so glad that we went to the game! We had fun with our friends that gave us the tickets and P loved mimicking his daddy and Mr. Bob yelling at the players and ump. The best part of the night, hands down, was when a foul ball was hit. The guy in front of us caught it. Instead of keeping it like most people would, he turned around and handed it to P. Talk about one excited boy! I honestly don't think his "special ball that the guy got him" has left his sight since it was handed to him. So, despite the stress and frustration that life is dishing out at the moment, it was nice to put it all on the back burner for a few hours, enjoying time as a family and with friends, a nice little escape from reality.

Some good news for us....Rob drew 3 out of 5 tags that he put in for today. One tag is extremely difficult to draw so he was thrilled beyond belief when he saw that he had drawn it. I'm happy that he drew an elk tag because that means good meat in store for us in the coming months!!!

Sunny Sunday

Normally it's still snowing in this part of the world so I am loving this early Summer like weather (Although I won't like all the fires that it will produce this year!). Because of the beautiful warm weather, P and I started the morning outside. We went "geico" and jack rabbit hunting. Ruby came out as I was coming in to get ready for church. A few minutes later when I went out to check on P, our neighbor seemed frazzled. Turns out that Ruby got hold of one of her baby chicks. She was pretty traumatized by it, something that I can completely understand. (Luckily when I went to check on it later it seemed better....fingers crossed!). After church we came home and unloaded the week's worth of groceries. P had a hard time napping so I laid down with him...and ended up falling asleep myself. After we woke up we went back outside while Rob went for a run. P played while I did light yardwork. We topped off the beautiful day with a delicious meal: chicken on the BBQ, watermelon, homemade potato salad, green beans and cherry cheesecake for dessert. I love Summer days!

On a completely different note....Lately P is having a difficult time going to sleep at night. No matter what time he wakes up from his nap, he doesn't usually go to sleep until 9pm every night. (Grrr!) Tonight was no exception. At one point when I went to tell him to go to bed he had his cowboy hat on Ruby and was trying to "catch" her with his fishing rod (ie. stick). Awhile later I noticed the light still on and went to tell him again to go to sleep. I opened the door to find Ruby completely covered in.....sunscreen! P had found it in his school backpack and lathered up poor Ruby, telling her to sit still while he put lotion on her. Needless to say, Ruby got a bath and the sunscreen will no longer be put in his backpack. Oh the joys of a mischievous boy and his helpless dog!

Beautiful Day at the Lake

I can't begin to tell you how glad I am that Rob rarely works on the weekends anymore. That means more family time! This morning we took off early, ran some errands, looked at a potential rental and then headed up to S. Lake Tahoe. It was such a beautiful drive the whole way there. I have traveled to many places around the world but Tahoe still tops the list as one of the most beautiful places I've been. As we were leaving we stopped at the beach so P could get out and run off some energy. He had fun flirting with the girls that were laying out on the beach, throwing sand and braving the cold water. I haven't had much chance to pull out my camera lately so I was happy for the chance to do so today. I was a little rusty with the camera and it showed when I was looking at the pictures I took. But here are a few that I liked....

Life's Uncertainties

I feel like God is saying, "Jen, it's time I take control of your life again and in order to do so I need to turn your life upside down so you have no choice but to lay things at My feet." I don't know how our life could get any more crazy than it is at this moment. Actually I shouldn't write that because I'm sure with God's sense of humor He will find a way.
This week has been a doozie to say the least. The story is a long one so I'll give you the short version: I am being forced to transfer but there aren't part time positions for me to readily transfer into. So that's causing me stress. Rob MAY be applying for a new job (which pays a lot more) if any of the rumors are true that one will be opening soon. The Waiting Game gets old with his job but we're thankful he has one. To top it off, we found out last night that our house is closing and we have about 30 days to find a new place and move out. If each of these things were happening separately then I'd handle it fine, but all of them piled on us at once can be a little overwhelming. That's why I fell asleep with my Bible in my hands last night, reading the "worry" passage in Matthew. I thought that I wouldn't get an ounce of sleep last night with all the thoughts whirling in my mind. But being comforted by God's Word really helped me. I know it will all work out. I keep thinking that, by P's birthday, we'll have answers and be settled. And for that I'm thankful!!

Lovin' It!

Today was one of those no-plans-but-productive-anyway type of days. I started out with a lot of gusto this morning, doing laundry and cleaning the bathrooms. Then P and I had to go to a doctor appt for me. He was so good that I took him to get a small treat afterwards. We had time to spare so we took a spur of the moment trip to a local park. We had fun racing around like we were race cars. After a nice long nap P decided he wanted to go "swimming". So we filled up his plastic pool, he stripped down and he and Ruby played in the pool. It was nice because I sat nearby on the lounge chair, enjoying the sunshine, my son's laughter and my book. Once Rob got home we BBQ'd shish kabobs and enjoyed a nice fruit salad compliments of an Edible Arrangement that my inlaws sent yesterday. Now we're watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and listening to the rain/thunder/lighting. I've had a few productive moments since we woke up from our naps but overall it's been an easy going day. When life gets busy (like it will the rest of the week) it's days like today that I LOVE!

Happy Mother's Day

What does Mother's Day mean to you? When I was younger it meant giving my mom a gift and not much more. But maybe it's because I've gotten older, matured or have become a mom myself that the meaning has changed. The day itself isn't all that important. It's the meaning behind Mother's Day that has come to mean so much to me. It's the dandelions in a small clutched hand after playing outside. It's the belly laugh giggles when you both find something funny. It's the early morning snuggles. It's the enthusiasm of the little things as seen from a child. It's the holding each other tight just because. It's the word "Mommy" coming out of a young mouth. It's watching your child grow up on a daily basis, changing and forming their own little personality. Being a mom (or dad) is the most important job in the world in my opinion. A job that can't be taken lightly given the fact that you are molding a young life.
So when P gave me a Mickey Mouse card and Rob gave me a beautiful card about the kind of mother and wife that I am it touched my heart. The pedi gift certificate and french press coffee maker meant a lot as well. But a day that started with breakfast on the deck with P, going to church with my boys, taking a nap with the lil guy and playing in the sandbox afterwards is what made my day so special.
Being a mom isn't something that I'd ever trade for anything in the world, even on our bad days. It's a blessing that I thank God for every day. So if you are a mom, I want to wish you a wonderful Mother's Day (what's left of it anyways). I hope your day was as special as mine!

Whirlwind of a Day

P usually wakes up between 5:15 and 5:45 like clockwork every day. So of course today was the day he decided to sleep in til 7am. We had to be out of the house at 8 so it started my day off in a rush and my day never seemed to slow down much. I ran a few errands before meeting with some friends and their kids at the local zoo. I'd never been to this zoo and it reminded me of the small zoo back home. The boys loved it and P especially liked watching the tiger eat the raw chicken (I thought it was rather disgusting!). P and I left there so we could meet up with some family friends that I haven't seen in forever. The couple went above and beyond in buying toys for P and BBQing hotdogs. P was in heaven! On the way home I had yet a few more errands to run. The fun had caught up with P, however, and he fell asleep for awhile. Although it was a super busy day, it was also a fun-filled day which is the best kind of day in my opinion!

Mommy and P Date

I feel guilty even saying this but I had to force myself to leave the house this morning to give P some undivided attention. I was knee deep into purging unneeded baby stuff and playing on the computer (not together of course) when I realized my lil guy was just sitting there. I am so glad I did because we spent a fun hour+ at the park and wetlands. Usually when I leave the house I have at least 1 camera in my possession and sometimes up to 3. Wouldn't you know today was the day I didn't have any cameras with me while we enjoyed an adventure! I guess it was for the best, though, because I wouldn't have been able to give him the attention he deserved being behind my camera lens. Instead I would've been capturing his "treasure hunt", which consisted of 2 black rubber pieces that became his prized possessions. I would've captured him noisily chasing the birds at full speed after being sure to tell me to be quiet. I would've captured his excitement when he found the "beach", a sandy area where a park bench sat. I would've captured him doing magic tricks with the rubber pieces, pretending to make the birds fly away when he got close to them. I would've captured him pretending to be Mater, walking backwards. Although I don't have the memories captured on film, I have them etched in my memory. This morning was one of those times that I was glad that I put my To-Do list aside and just enjoyed being a carefree mommy.

Letting Go

"Birth of a dream, death of a dream."

I wish I could sit down with each other you and tell you face to face about my journey because it's so hard to read emotion via the Internet. But please know that I am at peace and happy with letting go of a dream that Rob and I have had for a few years now. That dream to have a 2nd child so P can be a sibling.

P has been our miracle baby from beginning to now. I was told in 2003 that I most likely wouldn't be able to get pregnant. So we were pleasantly surprised when, 4 months after we started trying, I took a pregnancy test that came back positive. After all the health concerns we dealt with for the first year of P's life we felt that when he turned 1 and was out of the woods medically it would be a perfect time to start trying for a 2nd child. We naively thought it would be just as easy to have a 2nd child and that the kids would be 2 years apart.

But a year after unsuccessfully trying every fertility gimmick I could find I went to see my doctor. She gave me a hormone prescription to help aide in the process. But, after trying that for 6 months it was obvious we needed more/different help. I went to see a specialist, who ran various tests. The results confirmed what we had already guessed.....my medical problems from 9 years ago was affecting my ability to get pregnant. The specialist insisted he could still get me pregnant but it would take some medical intervention and money.

Three months later I just confirmed what I had already thought....I am not pregnant for the 19th mo in a row. But I'm not sad as you would think. I've already shed many tears about this, crying myself to sleep several times over the past year and a half. So now it's time to be positive. I'm happy that I'm no longer going to be poked and prodded several times a month. I'm happy that I won't have hormones put into my body one way or the other 23 days out of each month. I'm happy that I won't have to pee on a stick or in a cup, always getting negative results. I'm happy that I won't have to keep track of so many things each month.

People have asked if infertility has affected my marriage. If anything it has brought Rob and I closer. It's made us open up more, relying on God together. We've prayed since the beginning that God's Will be done. We figured that I may not be getting pregnant because God is protecting us from something in the future. Who knows? I do know that I'm happy that I'll be able to lose the 10 pounds that the hormones caused me to gain. I also know I'm happy that I won't have to see any more doctors and give them any more money. And, if in the future, P asks why he's an only child I'll be happy to tell him we tried everything within our means to make him a big brother.

Are we giving up all together? No. We'll go back to al natural until the end of the year. But, whether we get pregnant or not, we have so much to thank God for. We have a perfectly healthy toddler that brings us so much joy. We have the means to provide for him. We have a very happy little family of 3. Whether that remains to stay the same or God blesses us with another child, only time will tell. But, as of now, I'm letting go and letting God.

Early Wake Up Call

 Last night our neighbor, Michelle, thought that she'd share the love and bring over 14 tadpoles and a baby frog for P to keep that her kids had captured on their latest camping trip. P couldn't have been more excited! He spent the rest of the evening sitting there, staring at them. In fact he was so excited that he woke me up at 5am to "check on the poles". When he woke me up he left our bedroom door open. Once I'm awake I love all the windows in our house and the panoramic view they provide. But when I'm trying to sleep I hate our windows, especially the one that is directly in front of our bedroom door. Once I realized I was going to be up for the day I grabbed my camera and captured some moments- of beauty and of pure boy joyfulness! P.S. I didn't take the time to edit these pictures but such is life. :)

Just Saying Hi

Nothing much to report around here but thought I'd say hi anyways. P woke up with a horrible, seal-like cough around 1:30 this morning so I immediately thought he had croop (sp??). I called in "sick" and stayed home with him while Rob went into work at 4am. Turns out the cough was a fluke and he wasn't all that sick. But it gave us an excuse to cuddle, watch "Cars", take a long nap and just lay low. I don't usually like days that are so mellow and unproductive but sometimes it's necessary....and nice. Since he appears to be fine I'll be going back to work tomorrow and P will go to school and Rob will hopefully sleep to catch up from working 18 hours in a 24 hour time frame. Like I said...nothing much to report but I hope life is going well for you.