Oh, the Negativity!

 Self doubt. Self negativity. One in the same I guess. But I am the queen of it. I can point out every physical and personality fault that I possess. I feel like I am short tempered with the boys because it feels like all they do is argue, cry or tattle. I feel like I am the strictest teacher there is because I demand so much of my students. Although I am rocking a weight loss challenge I signed up for, I can still point out all my physical faults. Obviously, it's not something I go around spouting off but it is something I think about when someone compliments me. I want to say, "Thanks, but...."

That being said, I have had a lot of people complimenting me on things I have been known to obsess over. Last week I was irritated because my classes were all acting crazy. When I thought I was at the end of my rope with my patience, a sweet tutor who works with my students daily, asked "Have you ever watched 'One Calls the Heart'?" She went on to tell me that I remind her of a teacher that is on the series because the teacher is compassionate and patient with her students. Me?? I don't see that but I'm glad she does. At a wedding last night, a lady with whom I've only met twice told me she could tell I was a teacher because of my bubbly personality. I don't think, in my entire life, anyone has referred to me as bubbly but it made me smile because I have been working on being more outgoing, smiling more. Last night, at the wedding, I also had several people tell me how pretty I looked. One twenty-something year old girl told me she really liked my dress. It put a smile on my face, knowing my hard work is paying off.

I wish a few heartfelt compliments would cancel out my negative thoughts. But, sometimes it gets the best of me. Lately, however, it has been kept at bay. Maybe it's because the weight loss challenge is making me feel better about myself. Or maybe it's because this week has been warm, which always makes me happy since I love to be outside. Or maybe I'm just growing up and learning my self worth. Whatever it is, I'm glad the negativity hasn't consumed me recently. If you deal with this as well, I challenge you to find the good in your life, the things you're proud of. And surround yourself with kind people. It helps tremendously!