Backseat Driver

As one of my best friends says, "I've been up in my feelings lately." I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the boys growing up. For the first time in 6 years, I won't be at the elementary school with either of them. I'm so thankful that they'll still only be a building away from me, but I'm going to miss knowing they're at the elementary school with me. And then P will be a licensed driver within a couple months and that's really got me emotional. We were driving to school last week and he said, "Mom, why are you looking at me like that?" I told him it's because I can't imagine he'll be an upperclassman when we return to school in the Fall. I told him that, before we know it, he'll be moving out. I told him that he's one of my best friends and I will miss seeing him every day. He jokingly replied that he'll call me every day to ask what's for dinner and if I have Ben n Jerry's for him in the freezer, he'll stop by a lot. Deal!

When I was driving to school by myself this morning, this song came on. I know it's referring to the singer's daughter, but it still makes me tear up because we are past this phase of the boys' lives. As much as I enjoy this current phase of their lives, I sure wish time would slow down so I could enjoy them while they're "little" just a little while longer.

The song:

https://youtu.be/YNKt863IzlI?si=FmgZrjJqKSX9F_aI

A Little Catching Up

 Oh, where oh where has the past couple months gone? Figured since I had a few minutes, I'd catch up on our blogging life so one day, when I get around to printing this into a book, I can remember our adventures. In March we spent Spring Break at Lake Fork. It's always a favorite place for our boys. We stayed at the same cabin we stayed at before and the boys fished nonstop. They also brought a friend and he loved fishing Lake Fork. Everyone caught some big fish...except me. 

Once we got back, life got really busy with baseball, tennis and fishing tournaments. Rob has also been working a lot this year so he hasn't been home as much. P picked up tennis this year and seemed to enjoy it. He's on the fence as to whether he'll play again next year. We went to his end of the season tennis banquet last night, where his coach said some nice things about him. He wasn't a starter this season so he didn't win any awards, but he was supportive of his teammates who did win. He and his fishing partner ended the season last month. P has come a long way with tournament fishing and impresses me with how hard core he fishes. He and Rob fished our favorite local tournament earlier this month. They didn't finish as well as they had hoped, but they still placed in a decent spot. I've gone fishing a few times with Rob, when we actually have a few free minutes, and one time I caught several fish, but that's the exception rather than the norm for me. 

E played several one day baseball tournaments this Spring. It makes for a long day, but I'm thankful that it allows us to go to church on Sundays. His team has really struggled since the head coach stepped down to take a lineman job. Lack of communication and strong personalities with the coaching staff has made the tension in the dugout almost unbearable. It has caused a lot of undue stress with the team and parents. So, after this past tournament, we decided it would be best if E stepped away from the team. He has stuck it out all Spring, but he will miss the State Championship tournament next month. His team did finish as runner up a couple weeks ago when the previous head coach made a guest appearance for the day so that was fun for the boys. It was the first time they had won some bling in over a year! 

As I said, we've been active at our home church. I sing in the choir so we're there every Sunday. One Sunday, the boys and I had gone to church without Rob. We only had one vehicle that weekend so the boys and I went a different route than usual to pick him up after church. As we were driving down a highway, a toddler ran across the road, wearing only a very soiled diaper. Long story, short, both boys amazed me with how they stepped up and handled the emergency. They helped me as we turned the toddler over to CPS for them to place him with a family member. I can't go into detail about the whole thing, but this sweet little boy clung to me like his life depended on it...and I guess, in a way, it did.

If all that craziness wasn't enough, we added more to the LazyH Farm. We now have 2 ducklings, 6 more chickens and 60,000 (?) bees. On top of that, I planted our garden last month. At this rate, we're going to be able to live off the grid. Ha!

The school year is quickly coming to an end. It has been one for the books, in a good way. I have absolutely LOVED this group of students! It was also such a blessing being E's ELA teacher! I can't believe he's officially done with elementary school. We found out last night that he will be playing on his junior high baseball team, which he's pumped about. And I can't believe that P will be an upper class man when we return in the Fall. I looked at him the other day, when we were on our way to school, and got sad. Before I know it, he will be moving out and spreading his wings as an adult. But, he's one of my best friends and I can't imagine not seeing him every day. He now owns his own truck and will be driving it independently within a few months. That is the only thing I am excited about with him getting older. I feel like I live in my car, driving the boys everywhere. E works at a local dog kennel a couple days a week and P always wants to go golfing so I put hundreds of miles on my car each week. My 2020 4-Runner has A LOT of miles on it so I'm looking forward to lessening my taxi load by Fall.

We have a lot of fun planned for this Summer, but I will try to find a few free minutes to blog. Hopefully I won't have to play catch up as much. Until next time....

A Mother's Story

 When I was standing in the church choir loft this morning, my eye caught on our youth pastor's wife. She quietly sat there with tears streaming down her cheeks. This was going to be her first Mother's Day, but sadly, she miscarried right after they announced she was expecting. She has the biggest servant's heart so she selflessly grabbed a handful of roses and passed them out to the moms in the choir loft. My heart broke for her. I shed tears, wishing that the Lord had had different plans for them with their pregnancy. And it got me thinking. Every mother has some kind of story because every pregnancy is a miracle. Here is my story:

As a teacher, I have seen dozens of kids have a less than ideal home life. And it had always been my dream to adopt kids instead of having my own kids naturally. Until I was in my mid 20s. I kept getting unbearable abdominal pain and was diagnosed with endometriosis. After I had surgery to repair/remove/whatever they did to it, my doctor called me into his office and told me that I had to be prepared to not be able to get pregnant because my endometriosis was so severe. I left his office, crying, and called my mom. I told her what he had said and she said, "But I thought you wanted to adopt." I told her I had, but that was when it had been an option. I felt like I was being told I no longer had the option to bear my own children.

When things started getting serious with Rob, I told him there was a good chance I couldn't have kids because I wanted him to know everything before talking marriage. He said that we could cross that bridge when we got to it. So imagine my surprise when, 4 months after we got married, we found out I was pregnant. P was sick as a newborn and that carried on until his first birthday. It was a lot of stress as a new mom, who was also learning how to be a "nurse" to our baby. Rob was gone with work more than he was home so we decided that we'd wait to try for a second child. We got pregnant much faster than expected with P so we thought it'd take no time at all to get pregnant again. Wrong!

After P turned one and he was out of the woods with his medical concerns, we started trying again. We tried for over two years to no avail. Finally we decided to get medical assistance because my endometriosis was rearing its ugly head. The first time we tried in vitro I was not surprised in the least to find out I wasn't pregnant. But, the second time I would've bet the farm that I was pregnant. I craved Chinese food and couldn't get enough of it (something I usually only eat once or twice a year). My sense of smell was heightened like it was during my first pregnancy. I was so excited and took multiple pregnancy tests, which all came back positive. I was over the moon excited....until I was told that I was not pregnant. That my hormones had been elevated due to the in vitro process. I was devastated. But, we decided to try one more time. At this point, we had maxed out our credit card trying to get pregnant, so we decided that if I wasn't pregnant we would explain to P that we tried to make him a big brother but God had other plans. After the third attempt, I went for my blood work before school one morning. I didn't feel pregnant and was pretty confident that the third time had failed. Then the nurse called me a few hours later to tell me congratulations, that I was indeed pregnant. I was shocked beyond belief!

Now we have two very healthy boys. They're a little further apart in age than I had wanted, but that's okay. See, every mother has their own story. Mother's Day is not always an easy day for some because of their story. But, I am thankful for the miracle of life and for God's plan even when it is not our own.