Days Off to Tough Love to Viruses

I've had blogs rolling around in my head for the past several days but sitting down to write them all out is another story. The only reason I'm doing it now is that I have a few minutes to kill while waiting for our oldest to get ready to help me with a day's worth of yardwork.
I guess that segues into my first blog......days off. I love when people say "You're a teacher? I bet you love all the days off that you have." I just smile and nod. What I don't tell them is that I don't have days off. To me, a day off means a day at the spa without any other obligations. It means lying in bed (when you're not sick) all day, reading. It means spending the day window shopping alone or with friends. I can't remember the last time I've done that. I'll sneak away for a pedicure but that lasts an hour at best. The last true vacation I've taken away from life was a couple years ago when my good friend came to town for a visit. We snuck away to the beach for the weekend and it was absolutely glorious! No responsibilities whatsoever. But time like that is rare. I don't have days off because I'm a parent and a homeowner. My weekends are spent doing laundry, mopping, cleaning stinky boys' bathrooms, yardwork and yes, schoolwork. I usually spend an hour or two at school every weekend because I enjoy working in the quiet of my classroom. At home, I usually spend another hour doing lesson plans. In between all that I try to be a fun mom and a devoted wife. I do things the boys or Rob want to do- a Pelican basketball game, a family work picnic, taking our youngest to a dirtbike track because that's his latest interest, going to the trampoline park with the boys. No matter what I'm doing, I can tell you that I'm not sitting around. I'm not relaxing, getting ready for the next week. I am trying to better our house or create family memories or just catch up from last week when I couldn't squeeze in that last bit of laundry that had to get done.
This weekend I have help with the yardwork. Our oldest hasn't been making the best choices lately. One of his more dumb choices earned him a detention at school. Rob and I are both firm believers of tough love. So when the boys get in trouble at school, they also get in trouble at home. Our oldest is not a huge fan of manual labor so as part of his punishment, he's going to help me do yardwork on this beautiful Saturday. I know we're strict parents but I am ok with that. I am ok, knowing we are helping raise productive members of society. I am ok knowing that our boys know who is in charge in this house. Recently, a person posted a few articles on FB about how you don't need to discipline your child. You need to be their friend. I believe that our kids will have a lot of friends in their life. What they need is structure, discipline, rules, guidelines, and tough love. Through that a friendship will form, one that can grow as your child ages. I teach kids every day, some who I can tell are disciplined at home and some who don't know what discipline is. Those are the kids I worry about, the ones who aren't disciplined. Because they don't know their choices have consequences at an early age, they tend to make more stupid choices as they get older. But, honestly, I could stay on this soapbox for a long time. So I'll just end this section by saying that, in our house, we show our boys tough love in hopes they will become hard workers who make good choices and contribute to society when they become adults. All because of how they were raised and the discipline they were shown growing up.
Last but least the Coronavirus. I try to write this without inserting an eye roll because I know that it is responsible for many deaths in China. That being said, I really don't understand the paranoia in the U.S about it. Comparing life in Communist China, where decent healthcare is not easily accessible and sanitation is pretty non-existent, to the U.S., where everyone has access to healthcare (Thanks Obama!) and sanitation is everyday life, is like comparing apples and oranges. I have been to other countries so I speak from experience when I say, consuming meat that has been sitting out all day in filthy conditions is not uncommon (How are you supposed to get proper nutrition to stay healthy and build your immune system eating like that?). People and animals will use the bathroom wherever it's convenient. I remember when I was on a mission trip in Peru. A dog walked into the church where we were conducting VBS, pooped at the front of the church and no one did anything about it. (I had to walk out of the church building because I was gagging so much.) In Israel, people would squat down over holes to use the bathroom. They'd eat with their hands (Which they did not wash beforehand) because silverware was not a way of life. Life in other countries is not like life here. I am not saying that the Coronavirus is not serious. Sadly, if there is an outbreak in the U.S., I am sure some people will die because of it. But we have access to state of the art hospitals. We have access to antibiotics. We have access to clean water. At the very least, we have access to soap, running water and hand sanitizers. So, in my opinion, is the Coronavirus worth losing sleep over? No. Is it worth confining yourself to your house in fear of catching the virus? No. Live life. Enjoy life. And know, that life outside the U.S. is very different than what we're accostumed to.

I Don't Do Sick

Never Have I Ever..... Up until yesterday I could say "Been diagnosed with the flu". What I thought was a simple sinus infection was really Flu B. If I was on stage accepting this as an award, I'd say that I like to thank my cute students who cough in my face, forget to sanitize their hand before reaching to hold mine and sneeze without covering their mouth. You know what? I wouldn't trade their affections so I'm ok with it. What I'm not ok with is being sick. I don't do sick.
In the past 25 years, I had mono for about 3 weeks in my early 20s and was so sick one day when E was about a year old that I asked Rob to stay home from work to take care of the boys (The only day in our 12 years of marriage that I asked him to take off because of me being sick.). Other than a sinus infection a couple times a year, I don't get sick. And it's probably a good thing because I'm not good at lying around. I feel like I've slept more than I've been awake since Saturday afternoon. At one point, I even Googled to see if it's possible to get mono more than once because that's how I feel.  (Just in case you're wondering, it's rare for this to happen.) I feel like I have bad allergies and mono combined. It's not a fun combo, but I don't feel horrible. My symptoms are bearable. I did talk the doctor into letting me go back to work for Valentine's Day and she reluctantly agreed...if I'm not running a fever tomorrow. So I have one more day of lying around, sleeping the day away, and then I'll be free. Thank God Almighty, I'll be free at last!

#MeToo

Three days after the Superbowl and I am still thinking about it, but not in a good way. I can't stop thinking about the halftime show and how disgusting it was- or at least the part I watched. I was actually excited that JLo was going to perform because I think she is such a talented woman. Not only do I think she's talented, but I think she's business savvy, intelligent and strong. But, if I didn't know anything about her or Shakira I would think, based on what I watched, that the only thing they had going for them is shaking their booties and degrading womankind in general. Women, especially recently, have fought so hard for women's rights, to be treated as equal instead of sex objects. But then the Superbowl allows these women to be seen as sex symbols. It disgusted me that these two women are role models but yet they dressed in basically nothing and just shook their "assets" on stage for millions to watch. What happened to the "MeToo movement where millions of women begged not to be treated as more than a nice body??
Our 7 year old was watching it with me and when he asked, "Why is that man smacking her butt if that's not her husband?" I knew it was time to turn it off. That's not the way I want our boys to treat women. I don't want them to grow up thinking it's okay to treat a woman like a piece of meat. I want them to respect women. I want them to think their wife is beautiful, as much for her brain and personality as for her looks. Watching things like the Superbowl halftime show goes against what I am trying to teach them. It's like society takes two steps forward and three steps back.
I posted something about it on FB and, to my surprise, many of my liberal friends were appalled by the show as well. Which, in my opinion, means that not just conservative women were offended by this "sex on a stick" show (Both literally and figuratively if you had the pleasure of watching JLo's pole dance). Why is the halftime show based on skin and controversy? Why can't it be family oriented, one that you enjoy talking about around the water cooler (Do businesses still have those??) the next day when you go to work? Let's take a step forward, America, and treat women the way God intended them to be treated and not just as a piece of meat.

Blessed

I know I am long overdue for a blog but 2020 has taken off with a bang. I feel like this is the first down time I have had since the new year began. And that's a good thing. Our life has been full of so many blessings recently and it makes me want to step back and say, "Is this really our life?"
A few days after the new year my principal called and asked if I'd like to be the teacher of a new kindergarten class that was opening up at our school. I didn't have to hesitate before happily accepting this promotion. Along with this new job came a lot of LONG hours, prepping my classroom and jumping back into a world of 5 and 6 year olds. I'm not gonna lie....it's been challenging. Mainly because it's all new curriculum and most days I have the mentality of "Fake it til you make it." I am LOVING my new job, despite the craziness and long hours. The boys are pretty happy with my new position as well because they love inviting their friends to my classroom and playing on the class computers after school when I have duty.
Shortly after the new year my mom had thyroid surgery and two days after her surgery my dad broke his foot. (Their 2020 isn't starting out so great!) Thankfully we had the financial means and I have an understanding boss that let me take my first Friday off with my new class to go help my parents. I spent the weekend with them, relaxing. We watched Hallmark movies, took naps and laid low. I tried to help as much as I could on top of just spending quality time with them. However, I didn't want my dad to feel completely helpless so I clogged up their garbage disposal and spilled ice cream and chocolate syrup on their carpet so he'd have something to do as well. Ha! It was a perfect weekend and I am so thankful that I got to be selfish and enjoy time with them by myself.
Our social lives have been hopping on the weekends. I was teasing P this morning after I picked him up from a birthday party sleepover. I asked him, "How does it feel to be one of the popular kids? You have been to 3 birthday parties this month and it's all with the same group of kids." I wasn't that popular kid at school so I am so incredibly thankful that he has been blessed with a great group of boys. They are sweet, well mannered young men and most of them are Christians. In between his social life and work responsibilities, Rob and I have been amping our social lives up as well. Today I got to meet friends for lunch to celebrate the pregnancy of one of them. Tonight we are meeting up with friends for dinner. Last weekend we went on a date- just the two of us. I don't remember the last time we've gone out just the two of us but we decided that we need to do it more often.
To top it all off, I was able to buy a brand new SUV this week. This is the first time I've owned a brand new car and it's the first time I have bought a car in 6 years. I am over the moon happy about it and can't believe it's mine!
I don't say all this to brag. I say it to brag on the Lord for blessing us in so many wonderful ways since the new year began. I don't take it for granted and I thank HIM every day for all that He's blessed us with. I can't wait to see what the rest of the year holds in store for us!

Jen's Buck

*If you are anti-hunting, you may want to skip this blog. If you're ok with hunting, then keep reading...*

I'm a Cali girl. I was not raised in a hunting family. Not that I had anything against it (It's the same as fishing to me and my parents love to fish.), but I wasn't experienced or knowledgeable about hunting. Enter my husband's family. They LOVE everything about hunting. From October 1 through January 31 you can pretty much find them at their deer camp. Until this year, it has been a bone of contention between me and my husband. But, early on in our marriage I tried to like hunting. My husband LOVES it so I thought I'd try it. I had shot 2 deer and didn't understand the hype, the excitement. Then 5 years ago I made a bad shot. I was hunting by myself for the first time. I wasn't paying attention to the does so I killed the smallest one. Not only did I kill one that was too young but I made a really bad shot, causing the deer to suffer. I put down my MIL's rifle that night and swore I'd never hunt again. My husband and FIL tried to console me, told me that everyone can make a bad shot (I guess it's like hooking a fish in the eye??). But I had no desire to hunt. No one pestered me to hunt again. They understood that I had to work through that bad hunt.
Two weeks ago I told my husband that I finally thought I was ready to hunt again. We have been getting our meat processed at this great place and I want a freezer full of meat. (The first time I've felt like this since moving here.) So, two weeks ago my husband and youngest son accompanied me to the shooting house but I quickly kicked them out because they were making too much noise. I didn't see any deer that day and I was okay with that. I just enjoyed being in the woods. This past weekend I told my husband that I wanted to hunt again. So, on Friday afternoon, I went by myself to the shooting house. About an hour after I got there, two does walked out right in front of me. Does are off limits this time of year because it's the rut and they could already be pregnant. I sat there, watching them. Not even 10 minutes after they showed up, I heard heavy footsteps coming up the hill toward me. Before long an 8 point buck stood under the shooting house. My heart was beating so hard that I thought the deer would hear me. It was the first time I've had a good buck that close to me. I watched him as he walked about 50 yards out in front of me. I watched as he flirted with one of the does. I didn't have a good shot and I was not about to chance another bad one. I had everything ready in case he did get in a position where I was comfortable pulling the trigger. After what seemed like forever, he turned in a way I knew I'd have a clean shot. I rehearsed all the things in my head that my husband had told me, "Take a deep breath and let it out slowly......Squeeze the trigger.....Aim small behind the shoulder.....Keep the gun aimed even after you shoot..." I repeated those thoughts again and again until I knew I was ready. I did just as I was taught as my adrenaline went into overdrive. My buck dropped right where I shot him, not feeling an ounce of pain. I immediately texted my husband and father in law, letting them know I had killed a buck. My youngest son wanted to give up his afternoon hunt to come see my buck. My husband couldn't get to me fast enough, a huge smile on his face when he pulled up on the golf cart. When I got back to camp, my in-laws were there to greet me, congratulating me on my buck. My oldest son was anxious to come look at it and congratulate me. They were all so happy for me!
It felt good. I can't say that I'll ever crave hunting. I went to the shooting house the next day, just to sit there and watch nature. I wanted to watch deer in their element but I had no desire to shoot one that day. Whether I ever shoot another deer or not, I have to say that I am proud of myself for overcoming my fear. I am proud that, although I still visualize that poor deer that I killed 5 years ago, that wasn't the last one I killed. I now understand the excitement of hunting because, quite honestly, this is the first deer that I am SUPER proud of. I am proud that, when I open our deep freeze, I can say I provided some of that meat for my family. It was a great way for me to start 2020...overcoming a fear and being proud of myself!

A Birth Story

Almost every year I share the miracle surrounding P when he was just days old. But I never share E's birth story, which is a miracle as well. The backstory starts when I was in my mid-20s. I had endometriosis and was told I'd most likely never have kids. When Rob and I got married we decided to start trying for kids immediately given our age and my medical history. We were surprised that I was able to get pregnant with P within just a few months. So, when P was a year old we decided to try to get pregnant again, wanting the boys to only be a couple years apart. Sadly, it didn't happen as fast as it had with P. In fact, after over a year of trying I went to a fertility specialist. We went through a series of tests and realized my body was the reason we couldn't conceive easily. Rob and I decided we'd try fertility treatments in hopes of having a second child. The first attempt was unsuccessful but I felt with my entire being that the second treatment had been successful. I had peed on so many sticks that all showed positive. I also ate Chinese food like nobody's business and I'm not usually a fan of Chinese food. I was absolutely heartbroken when the nurse called me and told me I wasn't pregnant. By the time I had my third injection I was convinced I was not pregnant. I called Rob and told him I didn't think it had taken. We had already decided that, if I wasn't pregnant after the third attempt, we'd stop trying. Imagine my surprise when the nurse called to tell me that I was indeed pregnant!
Fast forward about 9-10 months and a whole lot of pounds.....I had gone into pre-term labor more times than I could count. It got to the point where a couple of the nurses knew P when we came into the hospital and would cater to him like it was a 5 star hotel. I was on bed rest for most of December in hopes of E not being born until closer to his due date. On Dec 30 I had awoke not feeling well. It was snowing outside and I told Rob I wanted to play hookie from church so I could rest. Rob said, "Please don't go into labor today. It's storming outside and Green Bay is playing a big playoff game today." I rested all day but by halftime I had tears streaming down my cheeks due to contractions. When Rob realized I was having contractions he mumbled something about false labor and "rushed" me to the hospital. (As much as you can rush with a few feet of snow on the road.) Both of my friends who were supposed to keep P for the night were not able to get him for various reasons. So we called some good friends who lived about an hour away. They have a hefty truck but it was near white out conditions so it was taking them quite awhile to get to the hospital. At one point my doctor came in and said that our friends better hurry because our lil man was ready to make his arrival into the world. Our friends showed up with about 5 minutes to spare. Rob no more than got in the operating room and E was born. He has been taking us by storm ever since!
All births are a miracle but E's birth was our miracle and we are so happy he is in our lives. He keeps us on our toes but I cannot imagine life without him! I am so thankful that the Lord chose us to be his parents and to provide us with the miracle of his life!

Broken Traditions

As I get older, the more important traditions become to me. I love the holiday season and all the traditions it brings! From a big turkey dinner on Thanksgiving to our elf's (Shooby) crazy antics to looking at Christmas lights to a Christmas Eve service to E's birthday celebration to lighting fireworks on New Years Eve. It's all so special to me and holds memories that are near and dear to me. But this year was different. Maybe it's because Thanksgiving was so late in the year. Maybe it was because Rob, E and I were all sick at some point between Thanksgiving and now. Maybe it's because I let go of being a control freak so I could just enjoy the memories we did create.
This year Thanksgiving was not a traditional turkey feast like I'm used to. We had shish kabobs and side dishes in miss matched dishes. We had a store bought dessert instead of my homemade peach cobbler. We never once went and looked at Christmas lights. I don't ever remember not looking at Christmas lights! But every time I suggested it, the boys shot it down, saying they didn't want to look at lights. We didn't candy cane bomb cars, which was one of our favorite things from last year, that we decided would become a new tradition. I baked Santa's cookies by myself and I did feel a little like the Little Red Hen because everyone swooped in AFTER the cookies came out of the oven to eat them.
This year I did find out the traditions that were important to the boys. They wanted to play a family game of football on Thanksgiving day. They couldn't wait to open 1 gift on Christmas Eve. They loved reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and "Cajun Night Before Christmas" and the Birth of Jesus in the gospel of Luke before bed on Christmas Eve. They couldn't wait to see what Santa brought them in their stockings and they impatiently reminded me that we needed to do the German pickle after our Christmas meal.
The day after Christmas, P climbed into bed with me after Rob left for work and said, "Mom, yesterday was one of the best Christmases. It was nice to spend the day as a family." To him, that was the most important part of Christmas. It wasn't how well Rob timed passing out gifts at o'dark thirty Christmas morning. It wasn't about the variety of side dishes and the homemade peach cobbler for Christmas dinner. It wasn't about all the gifts he got that he enjoyed playing with. It was about spending time as a family. He also loved having one of Rob's co-workers join us for lunch because the guy doesn't have any family in town. P talked about having him here a lot.
That's the stuff I want them to remember when they are older. The traditions are important but the quality time as a family is even more important! This year, after stressing so much a few days before Christmas, it was important to me to savor the special moments. Instead of capturing the moments on my camera, I captured them in my heart. I don't have a lot of pictures from Christmas this year but I sure have a lot of precious memories! Just the way it should be....