Cancel Culture

 Rob and I got to have an evening away last night, just the two of us. We stayed at a nice resort and enjoyed a concert. During the concert, the performing musician gave a shout out to a country artist who got dropped faster than fast earlier this year when he made a derogatory comment that was caught on video. On the way home today, Rob and I were talking about the new buzz phrase "cancel culture" and how easy it has become to "cancel" someone we don't agree with, which got me thinking. 

Why has it become so easy to "cancel" someone when they make a mistake these days? It's easy to take a person's fame, their job, their livelihood instead of "coaching" or counseling someone. One wrong thing and the person is essentially done. How is that right? Another thing that gets me is that it's ok for some people to say things or make liberal statements, but it's not ok for others. Who gets to decide what is right or wrong to say and why isn't it equal across the board? When did our society become like this? Why isn't grace shown for EVERYONE? 

As an educator, you are taught to give students multiple opportunities to get the right answer. You are taught to give them multiple chances when they do something wrong. I get that they are children, but why can't that same grace be shown for adults? Adults don't need several chances to right a wrong (most of the time). But I don't agree with wiping someone's career out when they say one wrong thing. That gives society too much power for one person's life.

What if God did that to us? Jesus is the only perfect human to have walked on Earth, which means we are shown grace continually. I can't imagine God condemning us to Hell for one mistake. No! He gives us multiple chances and loves us regardless of our stupidity. That's what we need to model, especially as Christians. 

This is a lesson I am being taught this Summer. As I recently blogged, having a pre-teen has its challenges. I'm learning when to show grace and when to use tough love to teach a lesson. I don't always get it right, but I'm trying to practice what I preach. 

For the record, I am not in any way, shape or form saying I agree with people's bad choices. I'm just asking why we, as a society, can't overlook people's flaws or choices to a certain extent and love or support them even through the hard times? A little grace sure goes a long way! "Cancel culture" does not. 

*Mic drop.

July (and Life) in a Nutshell

 Wow! What a Summer! We completed our Summer adventures by spending a few weeks with family. The boys and I loved visiting with my parents, meeting my baby niece, fishing, playing baseball, going for runs, bowling, going to the river/lake, eating at a LOT of fabulous restaurants and sitting in their backyard while the hummingbirds flew about. You name it, we probably did it...including playing putt putt golf in 100 degree temps, getting autographs from a MLB player and getting finned by a catfish! It was so, so, so refreshing to be able to travel, to visit family, to create priceless memories. Something I doubt I'll ever take for granted again after not seeing them last year (other than when I flew there for a quick weekend in January). 

One of my Top 5 favorite memories from our trip was when we visited my brother and his family. Everyone was napping so I told the boys we'd find a place for one of them to go snorkeling. Well, I misunderstood my brother's directions on how to get to the stairs that led to the snorkeling area. So the boys and I ended up rock climbing down to the beach (by holding onto a rope that was held with a cinder block), rock hopping once we found the stairs, finding lots of crabs running around, getting stuck about 5 yards away from the stairs due to the waves coming in and backtracking quickly before the tide overcame the area where we were. Both boys were paralyzed with fear at one point or another but we conquered our fears (me included) and made it back safely to where my dad was waiting for us. We then walked to where the stairs were only to find, once we went down them, that the water was too high, hence drenching one of the boys. So no snorkeling that time but some priceless, shall I say fun (???), memoires.

While we were visiting my family, I got a chance to go for a couple runs with my SIL. While we ran we talked and tried to solve the world's problems. One thing we talked about was the different seasons of life. Mainly the seasons of raising kids. Everyone has seasons like they like better than others. For me, I didn't really enjoy the baby/toddler phase. I don't know if it was because there was such a lack of sleep or lack of true conversation or that it required more patience than I possess. Whatever it was, I can say that without a doubt, THIS is my favorite phase. The boys are starting to really blossom. They have their own interests. One loves fishing, baseball, social media, fishing, cross country, playing the guitar, fishing, trapping and youth group. The other loves baseball, hunting, playing the piano and riding his dirtbike. They both ask questions that lead to deeper conversation, a real learning experience. It's fun to watch them interact with their friends. One went fishing with his buddy last night. They were teasing each other all the way to the pond and I just sat there, enjoying the banter. The other boy plays with his best friend on a daily basis. They constantly play and/or talk about baseball. They're both competitive so sometimes that gets in the way of their fun, but they've had to learn how to work through it.

Don't get me wrong. This season has its challenges, but they're different. Our oldest is starting to get quite a teenage attitude. He can get angry over the smallest things, at the drop of a hat, and usually (in my opinion) overreacts. Sometimes it's like walking on eggshells around him. But I have learned that saying my peace and then giving him time to think about my words usually pulls him out of his mood fairly quick. Am I always good at doing that? Sadly, no. I react sometimes to his anger, which only makes it worse. But it's a dance and we're learning the steps together. (As you can see, I am speaking from my point of view, not Rob's. He can write his own thoughts if that's what he chooses.)

To close, we are now back to the real world. We hit the ground running once our adventures came to an end. Back to the gym, prepping for the new school year, doctor appts, baseball tryouts, music lessons and a broken house which requires outside help to get fixed. I have a love/hate with it all. I love, love, LOVE watching the boys do what they love. I LOVE supporting them 110%. But there are days I get worn out. I run all day long so by the time evening rolls around I'm done. All that to say, I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. I will take tired. I will take the long days. Because, when the boys are grown, I want to look back knowing we gave them the best childhood we could possibly give.

Here are a few pics from our final adventure. Hopefully it'll hold you over until I can get around to blogging again since it may be awhile before I have time to blog again.

My Why

 When I joined my gym back in December, I did so on a BOGO deal for a month. I had been looking back at pictures from 2020 and had realized that I needed to do something about my weight. Toward the end of my month long membership I received a call that I had won a full membership to the gym. I was elated! Upon starting my new membership, I joined a weight loss challenge. To start the challenge I had to fill out a questionnaire so my coach could get to know me better. One of the questions was something like, "What is your WHY in wanting to do this challenge?" The obvious answer was that I wanted to feel good about myself again and wanted to get back to a healthy weight. But, after digging deeper, my WHY was that I wanted to be active with the boys without getting winded. I didn't want to just take them to the park. I wanted to PLAY with them at the park. 

Last Fall, I was mortified when I was helping P practice his times for cross country by running with him. He quickly took the lead and pretty soon I was huffing and puffing. Before getting to 1 1/2 miles I had to stop, despite the fact that I've run a few half marathons over the past 10 years. E shouted, "Hey P, you have to slow down. Mom had to stop and walk." That moment becomes my motivator when I want to skip a workout or not give 110% during my workout. I don't want to have to stop, to slow down, to give up.

I know I have mentioned my weight loss and I am happy with how my body looks now...for the most part. (If I gave up sweets my stomach would be flatter and that would be great!) But what makes me proud is that I'm now the mom who is an active part of her sons' lives, who plays with her kids without getting winded anymore. This Summer we have gone on long bike rides, have played beach volleyball, have played Wiffle Ball and have played tennis. Last night I even raced E and was proud that I could keep his pace (He's a fast little sucker!). 

That is my WHY. My boys and creating memories with him that include me being involved instead of sitting on the sidelines is my WHY. Life is too short to sit on the sidelines and I am thankful for the opportunity to be an active part of it!

At my gym, every week, there is a word of the week. Each day, a quote is read that has to do with the weekly theme word. This is one of the quotes that I have saved on my phone because it's so true...

Perfection

 When we go to the beach for vacation, one of my favorite things to do is look for shells. I could spend hours on the beach, finding shells. But when I look for them I want them to be as close to perfect as possible. They can be beautiful but if there's a piece missing I throw it back. The boys, on the other hand, don't care about the imperfections. They are intrigued with the unique ones, not caring if it's only half a shell.

While we were at the beach last weekend I started thinking about my shell searches. It's very similar to how I treat things and people in life. I am a perfectionist. Not just for my life, but with Rob, our boys, my students, etc. If it's not perfect, in my eyes, then it's not good enough. But that's not how it should be. We are all imperfect because God only created One perfect person....and surprise, it's NOT me! 

I realized I need to start seeing people the way the boys look at shells. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Everyone does things their own way and I need to be ok with that. It's ok if the dishwasher isn't loaded the way I would do it. It's ok if the boys don't color in the lines. It's ok if my students don't write the same way I do. Everyone is "perfect" in their own way, but no one needs to be held to perfect standards.

When the school year starts I am going to keep some shells on my desk as a reminder to encourage EVERYONE to do their best without worrying about being perfect. Life is too short to demand perfection and people are too beautiful just to notice their flaws. Next time you look at shells think about how you view them and if you view them the same way you view people in your life. Hopefully you notice the beauty over the imperfections.