Mother's Day Wish

One of the many things I've learned from Rob over the years is that I don't have to be in control all the time. I may want things a certain way but I also have to respect other people's wishes. So, I know that when I say I want something for Mother's Day or my birthday it will happen. Because that's how Rob rolls. A few nights ago, after a long day, I told Rob that all I wanted for Mother's Day was a few hours to myself. No one saying, "Mom...." followed by a request or question. I wanted just a few hours of silence, where I didn't have to listen to stories or be at someone's beck and call. Now, don't get me wrong. I love my boys more than life itself and would do anything for them in a heartbeat but this 24/7 stuff gets to me some days.
Rob had planned to take the boys camping tonight. But, as luck would have it, we got a huge storm yesterday and the ground will be wet for days. Not the ideal camping situation. So, this afternoon he told me he was going to take the boys out for a couple hours. It was all I could do not to do the Happy Dance right then and there. I had visions of a long, hot bubble bath and reading my book in complete silence. The bubble bath did not happen and I've only read 1 paragraph of my book. But, I did take an hour long nap and have enjoyed the silence since waking up.
But, you know what? Now I'm ready for them to come home now. I'm ready for the loud. I'm ready for the requests and questions. I'm ready to hear about Lego inventions and have coffee spilled on me because one of the boys has crawled up on my lap. I'm ready to worry about what to make for dinner. I'm ready to get slaughtered in a dirtbike video game. I have cherished the past couple hours by myself, I feel rejuvenated. But I'm ready to be "Mom" again because that's the best job I've ever been blessed with.

Graduation Blues

The start of a new month. The start of which should be a very busy month, beginning with a fishing tournament and ending with a trip to Myrtle Beach. But, thanks to COVID-19, none of that will be happening. Baseball season will most likely be cancelled. There will be no Mother's Day lunch at my favorite restaurant. There will not be busy weekends and endless days where we fall into bed, exhausted from a ridiculously busy day. But, the thing that breaks my heart? P won't get to enjoy all his end-of-elementary-school activities. He won't get his last PBIS party. He won't get his last Water Day. And most of all he won't get to have his 5th grade graduation. Oh sure, the district keeps saying it's a possibility but I know the reality. P will not be sitting with his friends one last time, watching the 5th grade slide show, ribbing his friends and sharing their inside jokes. And the reality is that I think it's affecting me more than it is him. He doesn't really know what he's missing. He knows about the school activities but he doesn't know about the closure, about saying goodbye to some of his friends for the last time as they move to other schools. He doesn't know about the importance of getting his yearbook signed one last time. So, I keep my mouth shut. When he gets in a funk, because he misses his friends, I listen to him. I encourage him. I help him find the good things about being home during this time. Because he doesn't need to know. He doesn't need to know all that he's missing. He needs to know that he's loved and he's safe and that he has a lifetime in front of him to make more memories. In the meantime, I'll savor his elementary school memories, the friends he's made, the teachers he's been blessed with. Because, really, that's what it's all about right now.

An Amazing Lady

I meant to write this blog first thing this morning. But, it always amazes me that, even with staying home at least 95% of the day, the time can still get away from you. So, here I am, at the end of this special day finally getting time to blog about one of the most amazing ladies I've ever met.....my mom.
I think of her every day, especially with being so far away from her. But, today is extra special because today she turned 70. To look at her, you wouldn't be able to guess her age. She's still very youthful in her looks and her attitude. But, that's only a part of her.
When I think of my mom, the first thing that comes to mind is the word selfless. I have never met someone who puts others before themselves the way my mom does. She gives and gives and gives of herself. And when she has nothing left to give, she hits up her "reserve tank" and gives some more. Not only is she selfless but she is so incredibly creative. Her imagination amazes me! She can take something so ordinary and turn it into a masterpiece (especially when it comes to sewing). She has touched countless lives, many of whom are strangers, because of her creativity and sewing skills.
As she's gotten older, she's started slowing down. Not in a bad way, mind you. But in a way where she takes a step back and takes it all in before "jumping". She appreciates the moments in life instead of always jumping ahead to the big picture. She listens more and talks less.
Now that I am grown and a mother of my own, it never ceases to amaze me that she'd cook a nice, well-balanced meal almost every single night while my brother and I were growing up. I don't know how she did it during soccer season and with church activities several times a week. She'd have a healthy snack waiting for us after school. She'd sit with us and ask us about our day, truly wanting to know about it. There are times I'm disciplining the boys and I'll think, "How would Mom deal with this?" I want to be like her in so many ways, even as an adult.
One of the ways I most want to be like her is in her walk with the Lord. She always puts Him first. She makes her devotion and prayer time a priority every single day with no exceptions. She's quick to witness to others or offer to pray for someone going through a rough time.
I am blessed to have the mom that I do. I have learned so much from her and continue to cherish the advice she gives me. Today, and every day, I hope she realizes how loved she is, how many lives she's touched throughout her 70 years here on Earth. Happy birthday, Mom. I love you so very much!

*Almost* A Normal Day

Today felt *almost* normal. I got groceries, I paid bills and watched the boys play with friends this evening. Fridays have always been my favorite day of the week. I like that it closes out another week and that I have 2 days ahead of me with my family, making memories. Lately Fridays blend in with Mondays, Thursdays and every other day. This week has been different since we have another student that has been added to our homeschool routine. So today felt like a real Friday. After the boys finished with their schoolwork, we went on our morning walk and then all 3 boys went swimming. This afternoon ran errands. I even took P to a store for the first time in 6 weeks to buy a bike. This evening was the icing on the cake. After dinner I enjoyed beautiful weather while I took Fetcha for a walk. When I got home, Rob and E rode dirtbikes together. Then Rob and I sat out front, watching the boys ride bikes *while social distancing* with their friends. I enjoyed hearing them laugh as our crazy dog outran them. I enjoyed talking to Rob about our dreams. I enjoyed waving to the neighbors who walked by. And after the sun went down, I thoroughly enjoyed catching a lightening bug with E. We've caught one the past two nights and his excitement over catching them is contagious. Today was about as perfect and as normal as we've had recently. P did an interview with me for a COVID time capsule. He asked me what were the 3 things I cherish most during this time of quarantine. and all of answers revolved around our family time together. I love it and all this togetherness has made us even stronger, creating even more memories. Life is good and we are blessed.

I Miss....

Today, and every day recently, there are things I miss. I miss eating out at random. On the rare occasion we've eaten out I only eat at local places (where they have more at stake) and wipe everything down as soon as I get it. I miss grocery shopping in a store. I went inside Walmart for the first time in a month because I couldn't get an online pickup for days. I was calculated in my shopping strategies so I could get in and out as fast as possible. I miss browsing the aisles and not having to think about the best time to shop when not so many people will be in the store. I also miss shopping sans gloves and a face mask. How do healthcare professionals do it every day? Wearing those things make me so hot! I miss quiet. Even as I write this, the Roomba is running, the TV is on and P is listening to music. One, or both, boys are constantly talking to me or asking me questions. I crave quiet and I used to get up to an hour of it 5 days a week when I was teaching in my classroom. I miss seeing friends and giving them a hug...or talking without a 6ft barrier between us. What I miss the most is my students! It makes me sad when people post memes on social media about how happy teachers are that school got "cancelled" for the remainder of the academic year. That is not true. We worry about our students every day...if they're safe, if they have enough food, if they're feeling loved at home. That's why I get frustrated when parents complain about the FREE food they are sent to help feed their kids while all of this is going on. At least it's a small comfort to me, knowing my students will get some food.
What I love during this time is the fact that I've had time to get a ton of house projects done. I can't begin to tell you how many hours I've spent outside, cleaning up the front flowerbeds and backyard. What I love is time spent with the boys. While I do miss my quiet time, I am loving all the memories we are creating. What I love is our daily walks. I may not be able to get to the gym like I'd like but I'm walking 2-3 miles a day. What I love is how close Rob and I have gotten during this time. Whether it's watching our shows, sitting outside with the boys or just talking, it's been fun to talk about things other than our ratrace schedules that dictated our lives a couple months ago.
We lived through the historical Flood of 2016, but that was more at a local level. This is a global historic event. So I am trying to take more pictures of our time to document everything. Eventually, I will make it into a book for the boys so they can remember this time in detail. Here is some of our recent daily "events".....

A Rona Easter

This Easter has definitely been a different one. Now before I go further, please don't misinterpret that first sentence as a sad Easter, depressing Easter or even a boring Easter. It's just been different. A few weeks ago we found out that the Resurrection service and egg hunt that our church was putting together was cancelled. We also knew, without a doubt, that an Easter service within a church building was out of the question as well. We knew we wouldn't be able to go out to enjoy an Easter lunch at a local restaurant....or any restaurant for that matter. We knew my parents wouldn't be able to come visit us for Spring Break. We knew we wouldn't be able to do a lot of things we had planned. I had already wrapped my head around all that and was at peace with it. This week I even made a Costco run (donning a mask and gloves of course) to buy tri-tip and shrimp.
What I hadn't anticipated was a storm Thursday night that would keep Rob at work for the past few days. It doesn't bother me that he's working. In fact, I know, that it bothers him way more because he feels like he's missing out on memories. I know we've been blessed with a lot of family time lately so him having to work a little extra is okay. Plus, this is what he enjoys most- helping people in a storm. All of it just made me more determined to have a fun Easter with the boys.
Easter fun started Friday night when the boys dyed eggs and we watched an Easter movie. Yesterday we drove to the church to pick up Easter bags for the boys. After bringing them home and Lysoling them, the boys enjoyed all the treats in the bag. Then I planted plastic eggs full of candy and money throughout the backyard. The boys enjoyed finding them all. Pretty soon we heard sirens and saw the Easter Bunny being brought through the neighborhood in the back of a police truck. The boys waved to him and followed him around the neighborhood. Definitely an Easter highlight! This morning the boys woke up to find Easter baskets full of candy and a dirtbike treat. P was the most excited because he didn't think the Easter Bunny would be bringing anything since the leprechaun didn't come on St Patrick's Day thanks to Rona. I've seen people posting Easter pictures on FB, where the family was dressed in their Sunday best. I didn't want a picture like that because I wanted a picture of how we were going to church on Easter Sunday. So the boys and I got dressed in shorts and t-shirts for this year's Easter picture.
The only reason I was thankful that Rob was not home is because we disagreed on the Easter service. Our church was doing an Easter service at the PARKing lot. I really wanted to go but Rob wanted to watch the service online like we've done the past few weeks. With him not being home, I made the executive decision to "go" to church....and I'm so glad I did. The boys and I pulled up, tuned the radio to the service, and enjoyed church in a new way. At the end of the service was communion (I had wiped everything down because P and I partook of it). E started asking how you become a Christian. I explained it to him and, right there in the parking lot, he asked Jesus into his heart! What an Easter blessing, a memory to last a lifetime!
We did not have a fancy Easter meal (That'll have to wait until Rob is here, minus the shrimp cocktail which I've pretty much eaten single-handedly). We did not do an organized egg hunt. We did not dress in our Sunday best. But we did worship our risen Savior. We did create wonderful (life-changing) memories. And we do have a lot to be thankful for. The boys have said several times, "This is the best Easter ever!". I have to admit that, despite it not being a "normal" Easter, it sure has been a good one.
Happy Easter! He is risen! He is risen indeed!!!

When You're Struggling

This week has been hard for several people I have spoke with. We got word from President Trump that the shelter in place will be extended until April 30. I love my family. I love my boys. But I want to have more freedom to do what I want. I want to be their parent instead of their teacher (although P is starting to rock fractions and I will be happy to take all the credit for that. HA!). I miss going to the gym with my friend. I am craving adult face-to-face interaction that doesn't require technology. I miss going to restaurants of my choice, not having to worry if an employee is sick. I miss running errands without restrictions. I had a mini pity party on Sunday because of it all.
But, I have learned that, for myself, it's best to do something productive at least once a day to feel some sort of normalcy. One day it was just doing a load of laundry and unloading the dishwasher. But I did something. Other days, like today, it's full of projects that have been on our "To-Do" list for a year or more. Every day I get outside because, praise the Lord, our weather has been beautiful. The boys and I go on at least two walks a day. I am getting tired of seeing the same scenery but I am sure loving all the memories that we're making, the laughs we're sharing, on our walks.
We've even tried some new things during this time. Snake fishing anyone?? (HA!) We've been doing a lot of art, which the boys are loving. And we're trying to be good "neighbors" by making cards for people in nursing homes and taking people food who are in need.
We're trying to make the best out of this historical event. But, some days are easier than others. I am ready for things to go back to normal but I sure am thankful for all the down time we've had. Tonight, Rob and I were sitting in the backyard, watching the boys play, and listening to music. The weather was perfect and I just sat there, taking it all in, thankful for moments like that. The moments that I want to remember even when this is behind us. Despite the frustrations, there have been a lot of good during the past month. And for that I am thankful.