Not Gonna Make It....

I'm not. I'm not going to make it until Dec 2016 when the "magic fairy" comes and miraculously turns my ornery 3 year old into a sweet boy again. Some days are good but most are not. Today was one of the worst recently. I know a lot of it had to do with the fact that he was overly tired (He seems to have insomnia like his mama). But, when he laid down in the checkout aisle of the grocery store and threw a wing dinger of a tantrum because I wouldn't let him push the cart into the lady in front of us that's when I lost my patience. Thankfully, in the South, when a child misbehaves, the general public expects you to discipline your child instead of threatening a lawsuit because, heaven forbid, your child's behavior was corrected. After being dealt with in line, he then stood at the entrance of the store, refusing to leave with me. That was the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak. He was crying, I was on the verge of tears. All because of a very strong willed 3 year old who has yet to get it through his thick skull that he is not the boss. Recently, I have decided that, as much as I love being a stay at home mom, I'm a better wife and mother if I work part time. So my goal is to get back in the classroom in the Fall where I can deal with other people's kids and someone else can deal with my sweet cherub. Because, Lord knows, I am not going to make it to the Sweet 4s otherwise!

West Coast Raised, but Southern Livin'

I am trying to watch what I eat, limit sweets/junk food and work out more. But this morning I was craving something sweet to drink. I didn't want a coke so I opted for a sweet tea. To born and raised Southerners, my version of sweet tea isn't true sweet tea. I put about 1/4 cup of sweet tea and then add regular tea and/or water to get it just sweet enough but not too sweet. That got me thinking about the way people are used to things, or I guess the way I am used to things. No matter how long I live in the South there are some things I may never learn to enjoy the way a true Southerner does. Take food for example. No way, shape or form do I think I'll ever enjoy crawfish. The smell alone is nauseating in my opinion. And don't get me started on people using rodents and small animals for meals. Squirrel? Possum? Turtles? Gross!!! Fried food is something I can tolerate....in limited portions. The only fried food I truly enjoy is fried okra or fried zucchini. I know a lot of people who love jambalaya but it is not my favorite. I'll eat it if there isn't anything else to choose from but it's not my "go to" meal. Don't get me wrong, I have had some of the best food I've ever eaten here (hello snowballs, corn casserole, gumbo and Middendorfs) but don't take my Mexican food or sushi away from this West Coast gal!
Another thing that, although Southerners may not like, but they seem used to is the wildlife. I've lived here 3 years and it still shocks me when ants bite me or I see a snake. In my 37 years out West, I only had 1 experience with fire ants and that's when P got bitten at a friend's house. I was talking about ants with a Southerner recently and he was shocked to hear that there are ants that don't bite. In my 37 years out West, I only saw 3 snakes. I know they were there but I didn't see any. Here I see them all the time. Just yesterday I PROUDLY ran over one when leaving the park. Every Summer I find a frog and a lizard or two in the house. Things I would've never imagined growing up out West.
Now here's an area where I may offend someone and I apologize in advance if I do. The way people talk. On TV I had heard the Southerner twang but I never thought much about it. People call carts "buggies", which seems more like an endearing term for a small child. Everyone is "fixin'" to do something. A lot of fish is called a "mess of fish". It's kind of like learning another language all over again. Educated people down here use the word "ain't" and double negatives without thinking twice. Out West, someone is considered ignorant when they talk like that. Sometimes I have to really hold my tongue so I keep from correcting people's grammar. It's just not normal to me.
There are many things I have grown to love about the South and things that still surprise me about it. But that's another blog for another time. I just got to thinking about how different parts of the US can be so different and I thought I'd share my thoughts with you. Hope y'all have a great weekend!

Differences

Sometimes you may read my blog and say, "Why does she feel the need to write about that?" Well, this is my journal so to speak. Every couple years, for Christmas, I print out all my blog entries into a book. Then we have fun going back and reliving memories from years past. I'm also horrible at doing the boys' baby books! You should see them- on top of my desk shoved full of mementos that I have yet to document. This blog helps me with different aspects of their childhood, even if I am bad at keeping up with baby books.

And that brings me to today's blog- the differences in my boys. I've written before about their different looks and personalities: my towhead with a round, moon face and a spitfire personality who wants it his way ALL the time and my tall, lanky dark haired cuddler who is a people pleaser and clumsy just like his mama. One will try every kind of new food you put in front of him, even though his favorite is salads and he's not a big fan of sweets. The other is picky and has to be talked into trying new foods, but give him sweets and he'll try it without being asked twice.
The other day I was noticing more concrete differences as well. E has already learned how to ride a 2 wheel bike while P didn't learn until he was 5 (But in his defense, he grew up on dirt roads, which made it hard to ride a bike). P had an extensive vocabulary at a young age, causing people to comment on words he was not only saying but knew the meaning of. E struggles to be understood still, substituting "D" for "G" on most of his words and calling his "room" his "zoom". Even though he passed his speech eval last month, he still gets frustrated that he has to repeat himself to make people understand what he's saying. At 2, E was holding pencils, markers and crayons correctly. Whereas, P still struggled with fine motor skills going into Kinder. I remember his teacher asking me if he was supposed to be right or left handed because he kept changing and was just as comfortable with one as he was the other. P far exceeded Kinder standards even before stepping into school for his first time. Book knowledge comes easy to him. E has a difficult time mastering shapes and numbers and sometimes I feel that letters and letter sounds are a lost cause. E has enjoyed playing sports since he could walk. He can throw a ball hard and fast, often making people comment about what a natural he is. P has always been awkward with sports. It broke my heart when I asked if he wanted to play T-ball again this year and he said, "No, because I'm the worst one on the team and I don't want to get teased if I lose the game for my team." It's sad that, at an early age, he has already learned this rough lesson. P has always loved books, whether he's reading them or being read to. He can sit for hours and listen to stories. E, on the other hand, wants to "read" the book to you or he has no interest in a book. But he is very analytical and will spend hours trying to figure out how something goes together. P started dressing himself at an early age (maybe 2?). Other than his shoes, he could get his clothes on and off without a problem. E is just now grasping the concept and trying to get his clothes on. Yesterday was the first time he got himself 90% of the way dressed....in a striped green shirt and plaid red/blue shorts (I loved it!).
As different as the boys are, they are also similar in many ways. They both love playing outside and would rather be jumping on the trampoline, riding bikes or playing with friends than sitting in front of the TV. They both love making people laugh. They both love wrestling with Daddy every night and going on "sushi dates" with me. They both like fishing and riding in Daddy's boat (although they differ on liking the speed Daddy drives the boat). Both loves the other something fierce. I prayed, when I found out I was pregnant, that the boys would have a special bond and that prayer has definitely been answered. E becomes distraught in the morning if he doesn't know where his "Bubba" is. Unless P is at school, they are never more than a few feet away from each other. What a blessing these 2 very different boys are in our lives! They are such a blessing and, even on the days when I've lost all patience with them, I still can't imagine life without them!

Habits

hab-it (noun) a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.

Some people are in the habit of exercising while others are in the habit of stopping by their favorite drive thru on the way home from work. Some people are in the habit of saving money while others are in the habit of spending money. Some people are in the habit of staying up late while others are in the habit of going to bed early. Some people are in the habit of making work a priority while others are in the habit of making family a priority. Everyone has habits. Some habits are good and some not so much. Such is life....until those habits affect those around you.

In marriage, it's easy to see habits~ both good and bad. Habits such as leaving love notes or telling your spouse you love him or her several times a day. Habits like not communicating and not laughing together. It's not until you've gotten into such a bad habit that you realize how damaging it has become. Recently, Rob and I were given advice from someone we respect about how to communicate better. It was a simple structural change but it has made all the difference in our communication and ultimately our marriage. We went from hardly saying more than a dozen sentences to each other throughout the day to talking for hours in a day. We hardly run out of things to talk about now, even on the weekends, which in the past has been difficult for us.

I know that not all marriage issues are based on bad habits. I realized this recently while I was having lunch with someone who I hold near and dear to my heart and the person was confiding in me about their marriage. Some marriages need a change of heart and a big miracle from God. I get it.

All marriages need prayer but when we see our marriages struggling because of bad habits it's time to get advice, intervention, mentoring, whatever you want to call it. Because marriage is worth saving, worth fighting for. Breaking bad habits or digging into the deeper root of problems can make all the difference. I should know. Just look at our marriage!

9 Years Ago

Yesterday marked 9 years ago that Rob and I met. I'll tell my version of how it all went down. We had met through an online dating site and talked for a few weeks before deciding to meet in person. Rob lived in NV and I lived in CA at the time so, for our first date, I stayed with a friend that lived close by Rob. We had decided to have dinner so I didn't think anything about having a late lunch with my friend, thinking we would meet for dinner later in the evening, which is fairly typical. Well, if you've met Rob you know that he's anything but typical (HA!). He called about a half hour after I had finished lunch and asked if we could meet for an early dinner. We decided to meet at Chili's and when I pulled up and first saw him I thought, "Whoa, he's way out of my league!". When we got seated I told him I wasn't hungry. He probably thought I was one of "those girls" who didn't eat but he couldn't be more wrong. When his steak arrived, I don't know what was more entertaining- watching how fast he INHALED it or the fact that he whipped out a photo album of himself for me to look at while he ate. Our date lasted all of 45 minutes and he bailed pretty fast, stating he needed to leave to register his truck and get ready for an upcoming dirtbike race. I left, thinking, "Well, I'll never hear from him again."
Needless to say, the rest is history. Yesterday we had fun reminiscing about the reasons we fell in love with each other and the things we've been through together, as a couple. It hasn't always been easy and it hasn't always been a barrel of laughs but recently we found out something about each other. We are fighters. Not in the way you may be thinking. We are determined to fight FOR each other, for our family, for our marriage vows. It's not necessarily an easy process but it is eye opening and has helped us rekindle our love for each other. I am looking forward to many more "9 years" together!