Goodbye 2020!

While Christmas was better than I thought it'd be and E's birthday was fun, I can say I am glad this year will be behind us in 5 hours. Even with the pandemic, historic hurricane season, racial tension, presidential election issues and murder hornets (was that ever really a thing??) there have been some bright spots and good memories in 2020. I got to see my parents this year, even if it was only for a weekend. My brother survived a bad bout of Covid. He was one of the first Covid cases in Southern California so it was a very scary time for us while we navigated this new virus. We bought 10 acres in April and have enjoyed spending time there during this crazy year. We went primitive camping for the first time as a family. We didn't get much sleep but we created a lot of fun memories. P got to go to church camp for the first time, which he thoroughly enjoyed. I was stretched more than I imagined with virtual teaching. It caused tears for me, the parents and the students but we got through it and I know I can do it again if needed. We found the perfect home for our dog, Charlie, and adopted another dog. He's a great dog but is currently a nervous wreck because of the fireworks. Ha! This Fall my beautiful niece was born and I can't wait to meet her in person. Thankfully we have FaceTime so I get to see her quite a bit. We traveled more than we thought possible this year and explored new places. I won a year membership to a gym I've wanted to join for a long time so hopefully I'll lose my Covid weight. And in between all this we've learned how to slow down. We've spent a lot of family time together...and have enjoyed it. We've learned how to play new games. We've enjoyed a lot of walks around the neighborhood and local park. We've enjoyed more home cooked meals than usual. And we've appreciated our health. 2020 has been exhausting and I am ready for the NEW, but I am thankful for all the bright spots, the things the Lord has blessed us with and the memories we've created this year. 2020 will definitely be a year we never forget!

Bah Humbug

Tomorrow is Christmas Day and I don't want to celebrate it. I want to stay in bed and let the day pass. Nothing seems normal this Christmas season. We did not go to the lighting of the City Hall Christmas tree. We did not candy cane bomb cars. We did not do Christmas parties. We did not do a big family gathering with Rob's side of the family. The town Christmas parade got cancelled. We didn't send out Christmas cards. Our friend Jonathan and his siblings aren't doing their infamous gingerbread house competition that I look forward to every year. I had to talk the boys into sitting on Santa's lap because they said it was going to be too weird. My heart wasn't into Christmas shopping this year. (The only thing I truly enjoyed was baking for others.) Our Christmas tree died a week after we got it so we haven't turned the lights on in fear it'll catch fire. Christmas gifts still haven't arrived because they got lost in the mail. The only thing that is remotely the same is our elf on the shelf. But, even that wasn't the same because the boys were not overly enthusiastic about him like years past. I miss my family terribly. Every time I think about tomorrow I tear up because it'll be the second Christmas in a row that I won't be with my family. I am trying to be happy, knowing it's about celebrating Jesus's birth and not about all the other stuff. I know we are blessed with so much, including our health and good jobs. But it's hard. I will put on a brave face for the boys and will cherish the memories we'll create tonight and tomorrow morning. But, deep down, I just want to go to sleep and wake up when it's 2021. 

Christmas Struggles

 Christmas is supposed to be the happiest time of the year. But, sadly for some, it's not. For us, Christmas is usually the most stressful time of the year. Trying to coordinate schedules to get to Christmas parties and do all the Christmas shopping while making time for traditions and memories doesn't make for a relaxing Christmas holiday. This year's struggles are different. While we have been spending a lot of time as a family, I am struggling with what activities are safe to do and which ones need to be skipped. Our church puts on a HUGE Christmas event every year, which has become part of our annual traditions. This year, however, we are going to skip it. We may do the drive thru nativity scene but we will not take part in singing Christmas songs in the sanctuary. Neither Rob nor I want to take a risk on getting quarantined, nor do we want to get others sick. Sitting on Santa's lap will most likely get skipped as well. If the boys do decide they want to sit on his lap, it will definitely be a different experience from years past.

Another, non-Covid related, struggle is our Christmas tree. We have had live trees my entire life. We used to drive to the mountains with families from our church and cut down the perfect tree. We'd make a day out of it and pray for snow to play in. (I doubt my dad prayed for the snow since he was the one having to haul the tree back to the car!) Now we go to tree lots to find the perfect tree. The problem is, however, that our tree dies about two weeks in no matter what we do to take care of it. By Christmas morning there's more needles on the ground (and gifts!) than on the tree. This is the first year I've toyed with the idea of buying an artificial tree. I can't quite warm up to the idea though. Maybe it's because of the memories that surround searching for the real tree. Maybe it's the nostalgia of putting the lights on it and enjoying its uniqueness. I don't know, but it is nice to have an "unrelated from Covid" struggle. Ha!

Whatever your struggles may be, I hope you find happiness this year. I hope you're able to enjoy the special moments that Christmas brings, whether it's more family time or finding the perfect tree. I hope you realize that, despite the struggles that Christmas can bring, you are blessed. If I don't get around to blogging again before Christmas, I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas!

Covid Sucks....Just Sayin'

 It's not just Covid that sucks. It's this whole year. There, I said it. 

Last month I was all excited to go visit one of my closest friends, a friend whom I met in college 20+ years ago. (Wow! That makes me sound old.) We don't see each other as often as I'd like, but when we do we pick up right where we left off. The night before my flight I started to get anxious. I never get anxious over flying. Never. But I continued to pack my bags, putting aside my worry. Friday I left school right when the bell rang so I could race to the airport. But the closer I got to the airport, the more nervous I got. I wasn't nervous about the flight itself. I was nervous about wearing a mask for hours, being in a confined plane with people breathing the same air. Something I've never worried about before. The closer I got to the airport the more I prayed, "Lord, if this isn't Your will then close the doors." Well, guess what? He did. Technically He broke the door but it's all the same. After 3 delays, 2 announcements that I'd miss connecting flights and a call that my BIL had been taken to the hospital for liver failure I knew I wasn't supposed to go visit my friend. When I went to the podium to cancel my flight, I asked the ticket counter guy (Is that their official title??) why there were so many delays. He said, "The door of the plane is broken and we can't figure out what's going on with it." See? God literally broke the door instead of just closing it.

Another reason Covid sucks? The holidays! I'm huge into tradition and family and memories and all things Christmas, starting with Thanksgiving. To be honest, Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday but it kicks off the Christmas season so I like it for that reason. This year I didn't get to see my parents. (In fact, I haven't seen them since January and the boys haven't seen them since last Summer.) Then Thanksgiving was just odd. I am not naturally a hugger but Rob's family is. There weren't hugs exchanged and we kind of kept our distance from each other. As soon as the meal was over and we cleaned up, Rob, the boys and I got back in the car and headed home. I thought about early Black Friday shopping but none of the stores were open. (I'm good with that because those poor retail people need a day off!) Overall, it was just an odd day filled with good food.

The closer we get to Christmas, the more things get cancelled and the more paranoid I get about quarantining. Don't get me wrong. I am not concerned in the least about getting Covid. I'm worried about missing out because I have to quarantine. I am so thankful that the students were able to come back to school after the Thanksgiving week because this is my favorite time of the year to teach. That being said, I don't want to do anything to jeopardize missing out on what's left of the Christmas festivities because of Covid. Already, all work Christmas parties were cancelled. The boys don't want to do Santa pictures because they will be separated from him by plexiglass. Our church is doing a drive-thru Christmasville this year when in years past the kids have been able to sit on Santa's lap after riding a little train, enjoying the petting zoo and watching the Christmas Story come alive. This year we won't get to see my parents once again and I'm sure it'll just be the 4 of us on Christmas day. We've only done that once before and I wasn't a huge fan. Like I said, I like family and memories at Christmas, which includes Christmas day itself.

But it is what it is. Someday we'll look back on this year as a year of historical events....Covid, an unprecedented hurricane season, Kamala Harris becoming the first female Vice President. But right now I see 2020 as the year nothing went as planned. It is what it is. Bah Humbug!