A Breakdown of Some Kind

 I am a planner, a multitasker, a hard worker and someone who has a difficult time asking for help. Most of the time that works to my benefit but this week it did me in...and it's only Wednesday. My week usually consists of working 40+ hours a week, cooking as many homemade meals as we can squeeze into our schedules, going to the gym 3-4 times a week, cleaning the house, keeping up with the laundry and being a taxi. Most weeks I've got it covered. I don't ask for help and, sadly, my parents don't live close by to help me juggle the craziness. So I make it work when there's a conflict with Rob's schedule.

Today, however, I thought I was going to have a breakdown. Anxiety? Stress induced? I don't know. Maybe it just boiled down to being sleep deprived (thanks to our mutt keeping me awake from 2:30am on) and the end of the school year stress combo. All I know is that at any given moment I could've curled up into a ball and cried. Rob had a family emergency so I had to figure out how to get P to worship practice for the praise band at 5, get E to baseball practice from 7-8 and pick P up from church at 7:30. Since I can only be so many places at once, something had to give. Unfortunately it was E's practice. But, in true E fashion, he took it like a champ. Instead he went with me to get groceries and then to my gym. We finished the evening by having a picnic on the church grounds from one of his favorite places, Panda Express.

I know he didn't care that his stuff got pushed off the schedule but I felt loads of "Mom guilt". It's a real thing, but sometimes I can only do so much. I wanted to document this for the future, for the boys to read when they're older, for them to realize that I tried but sometimes I came up short. And that's ok. I bust my butt every day of every week ("Relax" is not a word that pops up in my vocabulary often.), but even then it doesn't always work out as planned. There's always tomorrow....and tomorrow will be a day I am looking forward to because I am going to enjoy a much needed massage after work.

Almost a decade and a Half Ago

This week goes down as one of the stormiest, rainiest weeks we've had in a long time. I got very little sleep thanks to the night storms and to Rob sleeping at his office more nights than he was home, thanks to hundreds of power outages. Tuesday was the 14th anniversary of our first date. Thankfully we had gone out to celebrate the previous weekend, because the only time I saw him Tuesday was to take him his cot and change of clothes.

When we had gone out over the weekend we had laughed about our first date, how Rob inhaled his steak and how I thought I would never hear from him again after how abrupt he ended our date. We also reminisced about some of our favorite memories together. We've had some great ones over the years- our various trips that we laugh about, fun events, family traditions and, needless to say, the birth of our boys.  It was fun walking down memory lane, thinking back over the past 14 years together!

I'm not sugarcoating things by saying it's all been a bed of roses. There have definitely been some thorns- the first two years of our marriage and the first year we moved south were really rough. But, I can honestly say that we have grown together. We have become a good team. Even when we disagree, we have learned how to talk things out. We have learned to parent together. We have learned to be each other's biggest fan instead of being against each other. Like all marriages, we have had our peaks and valleys. But I am thankful for the life we've built together and I'm looking forward to so many more years together! 

The Good Life

 Every day feels like Christmas these days! I don't know if it's the sunshine after that horrific ice storm that we had in February. Or the 3 date nights Rob and I have enjoyed over the past 6 weeks (3 dates is usually our quota for the entire year). Or the fact that I won a weight loss challenge my gym was doing (down 17 pounds!!). Or the fact that the end is in sight for the school year (5 instructional weeks to go!). Or that I got to hug my parents for the first time in 15 months. Or the fact that our calendar is full again for the first time in over a year. Or the time change that took place a few weeks ago, making the days longer. I don't know what it is but I am loving life these days! I wake up, ready for the new day, and fall into bed, exhausted each night, after a busy day.

This past week was no exception. My parents came to see us for Spring Break. They got their vaccinations (or as they call it, their "get out of jail free card") so they felt safe to fly. For 9 days we played games, fished, shopped, ate good food, watched movies, laughed and enjoyed special time together. I was sad to take them to the airport yesterday, but was okay knowing we'd see them again in a few months. Having them here for the week+ confirmed that all is starting to become "normal" again. 

Another thing showing that life is becoming "normal" again is how full our calendar is getting. Today we spent the afternoon fishing and going for a boat ride after church. Tomorrow the boys start baseball. This week is filled with the gym, baseball practice, meetings, music lessons and everything else in between. This next weekend is pretty much the only free weekend we have until school starts back up in August. All of this makes me so happy! After the year we had last year where the world basically came to a halt, I don't take a full calendar for granted in the least. It gives me great joy every time I write something on it and I hope that continues to be the case....that I appreciate how full our lives are again instead of complaining about it. (But, last year also taught me that it's ok to rest too so I will work on that too....someday.)