A Breakdown of Some Kind

 I am a planner, a multitasker, a hard worker and someone who has a difficult time asking for help. Most of the time that works to my benefit but this week it did me in...and it's only Wednesday. My week usually consists of working 40+ hours a week, cooking as many homemade meals as we can squeeze into our schedules, going to the gym 3-4 times a week, cleaning the house, keeping up with the laundry and being a taxi. Most weeks I've got it covered. I don't ask for help and, sadly, my parents don't live close by to help me juggle the craziness. So I make it work when there's a conflict with Rob's schedule.

Today, however, I thought I was going to have a breakdown. Anxiety? Stress induced? I don't know. Maybe it just boiled down to being sleep deprived (thanks to our mutt keeping me awake from 2:30am on) and the end of the school year stress combo. All I know is that at any given moment I could've curled up into a ball and cried. Rob had a family emergency so I had to figure out how to get P to worship practice for the praise band at 5, get E to baseball practice from 7-8 and pick P up from church at 7:30. Since I can only be so many places at once, something had to give. Unfortunately it was E's practice. But, in true E fashion, he took it like a champ. Instead he went with me to get groceries and then to my gym. We finished the evening by having a picnic on the church grounds from one of his favorite places, Panda Express.

I know he didn't care that his stuff got pushed off the schedule but I felt loads of "Mom guilt". It's a real thing, but sometimes I can only do so much. I wanted to document this for the future, for the boys to read when they're older, for them to realize that I tried but sometimes I came up short. And that's ok. I bust my butt every day of every week ("Relax" is not a word that pops up in my vocabulary often.), but even then it doesn't always work out as planned. There's always tomorrow....and tomorrow will be a day I am looking forward to because I am going to enjoy a much needed massage after work.

Almost a decade and a Half Ago

This week goes down as one of the stormiest, rainiest weeks we've had in a long time. I got very little sleep thanks to the night storms and to Rob sleeping at his office more nights than he was home, thanks to hundreds of power outages. Tuesday was the 14th anniversary of our first date. Thankfully we had gone out to celebrate the previous weekend, because the only time I saw him Tuesday was to take him his cot and change of clothes.

When we had gone out over the weekend we had laughed about our first date, how Rob inhaled his steak and how I thought I would never hear from him again after how abrupt he ended our date. We also reminisced about some of our favorite memories together. We've had some great ones over the years- our various trips that we laugh about, fun events, family traditions and, needless to say, the birth of our boys.  It was fun walking down memory lane, thinking back over the past 14 years together!

I'm not sugarcoating things by saying it's all been a bed of roses. There have definitely been some thorns- the first two years of our marriage and the first year we moved south were really rough. But, I can honestly say that we have grown together. We have become a good team. Even when we disagree, we have learned how to talk things out. We have learned to parent together. We have learned to be each other's biggest fan instead of being against each other. Like all marriages, we have had our peaks and valleys. But I am thankful for the life we've built together and I'm looking forward to so many more years together! 

The Good Life

 Every day feels like Christmas these days! I don't know if it's the sunshine after that horrific ice storm that we had in February. Or the 3 date nights Rob and I have enjoyed over the past 6 weeks (3 dates is usually our quota for the entire year). Or the fact that I won a weight loss challenge my gym was doing (down 17 pounds!!). Or the fact that the end is in sight for the school year (5 instructional weeks to go!). Or that I got to hug my parents for the first time in 15 months. Or the fact that our calendar is full again for the first time in over a year. Or the time change that took place a few weeks ago, making the days longer. I don't know what it is but I am loving life these days! I wake up, ready for the new day, and fall into bed, exhausted each night, after a busy day.

This past week was no exception. My parents came to see us for Spring Break. They got their vaccinations (or as they call it, their "get out of jail free card") so they felt safe to fly. For 9 days we played games, fished, shopped, ate good food, watched movies, laughed and enjoyed special time together. I was sad to take them to the airport yesterday, but was okay knowing we'd see them again in a few months. Having them here for the week+ confirmed that all is starting to become "normal" again. 

Another thing showing that life is becoming "normal" again is how full our calendar is getting. Today we spent the afternoon fishing and going for a boat ride after church. Tomorrow the boys start baseball. This week is filled with the gym, baseball practice, meetings, music lessons and everything else in between. This next weekend is pretty much the only free weekend we have until school starts back up in August. All of this makes me so happy! After the year we had last year where the world basically came to a halt, I don't take a full calendar for granted in the least. It gives me great joy every time I write something on it and I hope that continues to be the case....that I appreciate how full our lives are again instead of complaining about it. (But, last year also taught me that it's ok to rest too so I will work on that too....someday.)

Grandparents

I hear stories all the time from my students about their families. Most of them come from single family homes. Some of them have their grandparents as their legal guardian for various reasons. When I hear stories like that it makes me realize how blessed our boys are to have 2 loving sets of grandparents, people who love them unconditionally and teach them things in life. While my parents and Rob's parents have different interests in life, they both invest in teaching the boys about things. Both sets of grandparents invest in the boys' love of music, sports, fishing and reading. But both sets of grandparents also create memories with the boys based on their interests. Rob's parents eat crawfish with the boys, while my parents eat Mexican food with them. Rob's family watches TV together, while my parents prefer playing games. Rob's parents teach them hunting skills, while my parents teach them life skills. No matter what is being taught, it's all about the memories being created. It's about the boys knowing they are loved unconditionally. If they are like me, they probably won't realized just how blessed they are to have two wonderful sets of grandparents until they are older. But I hope they know now and forever just how loved they are!

Oh, the Negativity!

 Self doubt. Self negativity. One in the same I guess. But I am the queen of it. I can point out every physical and personality fault that I possess. I feel like I am short tempered with the boys because it feels like all they do is argue, cry or tattle. I feel like I am the strictest teacher there is because I demand so much of my students. Although I am rocking a weight loss challenge I signed up for, I can still point out all my physical faults. Obviously, it's not something I go around spouting off but it is something I think about when someone compliments me. I want to say, "Thanks, but...."

That being said, I have had a lot of people complimenting me on things I have been known to obsess over. Last week I was irritated because my classes were all acting crazy. When I thought I was at the end of my rope with my patience, a sweet tutor who works with my students daily, asked "Have you ever watched 'One Calls the Heart'?" She went on to tell me that I remind her of a teacher that is on the series because the teacher is compassionate and patient with her students. Me?? I don't see that but I'm glad she does. At a wedding last night, a lady with whom I've only met twice told me she could tell I was a teacher because of my bubbly personality. I don't think, in my entire life, anyone has referred to me as bubbly but it made me smile because I have been working on being more outgoing, smiling more. Last night, at the wedding, I also had several people tell me how pretty I looked. One twenty-something year old girl told me she really liked my dress. It put a smile on my face, knowing my hard work is paying off.

I wish a few heartfelt compliments would cancel out my negative thoughts. But, sometimes it gets the best of me. Lately, however, it has been kept at bay. Maybe it's because the weight loss challenge is making me feel better about myself. Or maybe it's because this week has been warm, which always makes me happy since I love to be outside. Or maybe I'm just growing up and learning my self worth. Whatever it is, I'm glad the negativity hasn't consumed me recently. If you deal with this as well, I challenge you to find the good in your life, the things you're proud of. And surround yourself with kind people. It helps tremendously!

Icecalopyse 2021

 Last week we were supposed to be in Nashville, enjoying our Mardi Gras break. Instead we were freezing during a historic ice storm that made its way through the South. It probably would have been more enjoyable had we not lost power for 38 hours. But we made the best of it. Rob was “out of town” on storm work so the boys and I played lost of Yahtzee and Name that Tune. When our house got really cold (no fireplace thanks to the previous owners and temps in the teens outside) we bundled in sleeping bags and blankets and told stories. I was thankful that our neighbors took in our little gecko to keep warm in front of their fireplace. I was also thankful that it was cold enough that we didn’t have to worry about losing groceries due to the power outage. I was also thankful for the neighbors who made me coffee each morning and friends who offered us a warm place to stay. I wasn’t willing to leave the dogs but we did run up the road to Rob’s hotel the second day so I could take a hot shower and we could warm up for a couple hours. It was glorious! What I was most thankful for is when our power came back on. I’ve never been without electricity for that long. Once it came on, I was able to enjoy the beauty of the storm.

Hard to believe that was a week ago and today I was almost sweating in 70+ temps. 2021 is rolling in the way 2020 went out and I’m tired of living through historical events. So if 2021 could mellow out I’d be most appreciative! Until the next historical event...

An Update on Life

 In the past month a lot of things have happened in our little family. Both boys killed their first bucks and our freezer is overflowing with meat. (Yay!!) Both boys began football and are killing it out on the field. Both boys play defense and are so good. P is like the defensive coordinator for his team and E is just happy not to be on offense. (But slays it when he is!) 

    A couple weeks ago, I took a girls' trip to Nashville and had an absolute blast. Not once did I think, "I wish I was single again so I could live this life all the time." But I did have so much fun escaping reality for a couple days. Another exciting thing is that I won a one year membership to a local gym and joined a 6 week fitness challenge. I'm down 9 lbs and have so much more energy. The only thing that is hindering me is that I have an injured rib at the moment, causing workouts to be painful...or nonexistent. I slipped on a newly mopped floor and hit my ribs on the side of a table as I went down. I don't know if it's cracked or bruised but I'm going on two weeks in pain. Thankfully, as of Thursday, I am back to sleeping in our bed instead of the recliner.     

P got the flu a few weeks ago. It wasn't all that bad, but we were told that's because he had gotten his flu shot a couple months ago. He had to do virtual school for a week, which caused him (and me) a lot of frustration and bad grades. Made me appreciate what my 5th graders went through earlier this year when they were all on the hybrid model- going to school 2-3 days a week and learning from home the other days. The only sad thing that's happened recently is that Liz the chameleon died. E took it harder than I thought he would, considering we only had her for a month. I think he enjoyed her so much because he was 100% in charge of her and didn't have to share her with anyone else. But I assured him we'd get another one soon. 

Well, there you have it. I guess that's about all on our life updates. We've been really busy and have not enjoyed too many homecooked meals together lately. But, after last year, I am not complaining in the least. I like that life is pretty much back to normal for our family.