Worrying

By nature I am not a worrier. Very rarely do I lay awake at night, worrying about things. Why? Because it's a waste of time in my opinion. Me worrying about something does not change the outcome in any way, shape, or form. That being said. there are two things I worry about more than I should. Money and weeds. Yes, you read that correctly.
The reason I think I worry about both of them is because they show my failures. There are a lot of things I am good at: being a wife, mom, teacher, photographer. Some may even say I'm a good cook, reader and singer. But the thing I am worst at, that I absolutely hate (yes, I know that "hate" is a strong word) is MATH. My mind can't wrap around numbers and I hate every minute I have to do something other than basic math facts. In fact, when I was looking for my Prince Charming I prayed for someone who was good with money, who could handle the family budget. Sadly, that's about the only thing Rob is not good at either. So I am in charge of our family budget. I worry about money because I am not good at math. So, every paycheck, I budget and every paycheck I seem to cut us short. It's a sign-in my eyes-as failure. I don't like to fail. I don't like math. I don't like budgeting. Hence the reason I worry so much about money. Every. Single. Day.
Another thing I spend too much time worrying about is weeds. I love gardening and seeing the fruits of my labor. But I do not like snakes. And snakes like tall grass, weeds, shade....especially when the heat index is over 100 degrees. So, every Spring, the yard looks great. The flower beds are weed free. You can't see a single weed around the pool area or back fence. And then one day you go out there and they are everywhere! I have failed. I can't keep the weeds out of the flowerbeds or away from the pool no matter how many hours I spend pulling them. I try but I give into my fear of snakes, knowing the weeds will still be there come Winter when the snakes have disappeared.
This morning I woke up, checked our bank account, calculated how much money we'd have left after the bills went through and then went outside and looked at all the weeds in the backyard. Talk about a disappointing way to start the day. But then I thought of Matthew 6:25-33. Will worrying make the weeds go away or put extra money in our bank account? No! The weeds will still be there and another paycheck will come in a week, replenishing our bank account. Instead I changed my focus. I thanked the Lord that Rob made it safely out of a horrendous storm he was in this weekend...on a body of water, in his boat. I thanked the Lord for Rob's new job. Not to brag on him, but he beat out 30+ people who applied for the same job. AND it's the third job he's applied for at Entergy...and the third job he's EARNED. (I am so incredibly proud of him and his hard work!) I thanked the Lord for the little boy giggles down the hall where E and his best friend had just woken up. I thanked the Lord for our beautiful house...weeds and all. I thanked the Lord for our good health and all that He's blessed us with. And I thanked Him for my failures because they humble me. I am far from perfect and the reminders of that can be painful. But I am glad He made me the way He designed...flaws and all.