This past weekend, Rob and I celebrated our 12th anniversary. Since we don't usually do a lot of date nights, we go big on our anniversary. This year we opted to have a family weekend instead of an "us weekend". We did get to enjoy a dinner out, just the two of us, at Rob's favorite restaurant (Thanks, Mom and Dad, for paying for our meal!). It was so nice to get dressed up and just talk, take a walk down memory lane, and discuss how far we've come in our marriage.
We've come a LONG way! The first 7 years were pretty rough. We got into some monumental arguments. Sadly, I was ready to throw in the towel on more than one occasion and walk away from our marriage. But, then 5 years ago, we went to marriage counseling. While I don't feel we got a lot out of the counseling sessions per se, I think it both opened our eyes to some things. In the past 5 years we've learned to talk more and argue *way* less (in fact, I don't remember the last time we've gotten into a big argument). We put each other, and our family, first. We let the little things slide for the most part and focus on the positive things in our marriage. It's amazing how a little perspective and a huge attitude change can positively affect your marriage!
We had a friend over for dinner the other night and Rob said 2 things that I've really thought about this week. We were talking about the give and take in marriage. I said, "Sometimes it needs to be 50/50. Other times it needs to be 70/30." Rob replied, "I disagree. I think every day it needs to be 100/100." I couldn't agree more, even though sometimes that's not easy to accomplish. He was also talking about peaks and valleys. He said the more you put into your marriage on a daily basis, the less valleys there are and the more shallow they become, making it that much easier to get out of. What a profound thought that I couldn't agree with more! We've been there. We've seen our share of valleys. But because we have shifted things in our marriage and our priorities in life, our valleys aren't so deep. In fact, I don't think we've been in a valley in a very long time.
Our marriage is a blessing. I know that there are some people who probably didn't think we'd make it. And there was a time I would've agreed with them. But, over the past 12 years, Rob has become my best friend, my confidant, my supporter, my rock. I can't imagine being married to anyone else and I am so thankful we have this wonderful life together!
Thursday, June 18, 2020
Wednesday, June 17, 2020
A Family First
I have been meaning to blog all week but this week has flown by so far. We went from not leaving the house and having limited interaction for 2 months to being busy, busy, busy! Some days I handle it great and other days I'm ready to go back to the slow, monotonous pace of the quarantine. One thing I have enjoyed as we've moved into Phase 2 is more freedom. I ate in a restaurant for the first time in 3 months on our anniversary. Another thing we got to do is go on our first family vacation of the year. (By now we should've gone on a few vacays.) We did something that E has been obsessed with lately- tent camping (aka primitive camping). We stayed at a campground that offered plenty to do! From petting "wild" deer to a pool complete with a zipline to fishing to a Saturday night concert. Rob also surprised me and got me a bike for one of my anniversary gifts. So the boys and I rode bikes a lot at the campground. It was beautiful!
I can say that I'm more of a RV camper because I like my sleep and amenities (coffee pot, anyone?) too much but I'm glad we experienced it. It was loud and the two nights we were there we got maybe 8 hours of sleep total. But the smile on the boys' faces was worth it. They loved the experience and we're already planning our next tent camping experience....when it cools down.
I can say that I'm more of a RV camper because I like my sleep and amenities (coffee pot, anyone?) too much but I'm glad we experienced it. It was loud and the two nights we were there we got maybe 8 hours of sleep total. But the smile on the boys' faces was worth it. They loved the experience and we're already planning our next tent camping experience....when it cools down.
Friday, June 12, 2020
Infuriating Headlines
It's been awhile since I've stepped on my soapbox so let me spend some time up there this afternoon. In case, you don't watch the news, a man about my age was killed by a police officer in Minnesota a few weeks ago. The man was black, the officer white. It has outraged tens of thousands of people and has once again brought division to our nation. Terms like "systematic racism" are being thrown around on a daily basis. People are getting fired for supporting police officers. Sports teams are once again telling players and participants that it's ok to kneel during the national anthem. A country music group is changing their name because the word "Antebellum" is racist and offensive, according to them. And the latest? A kids' carton, Paw Patrol, is losing one of its main characters because liberals are in an outrage that kids are being taught that there are nice, decent cops in the world. (Just typing this sentence gets my blood boiling!)
First of all, there are good people and bad people in this world. There are good black people and evil white people and vice versa. There are good cops and there are bad cops. There are good teachers and their are bad teachers. I can go on and on about every profession, every race, every nationality, etc but you get the point. What was done to George Floyd was despicable. He had no right to die a slow, very public death at the hands of that evil police officer. Quite honestly, I hope that officer gets the punishment he deserves for his actions. But one person can't define an entire profession. Last Fall, a local middle school teacher and her police officer husband committed some heinous crimes to children. Crimes that had me crying myself to sleep. But, thank God, my teaching profession was not thrown under the bus because of one evil person. The main stream media likes to hype up the controversy, point fingers and then play the "nice guy" role, causing unnecessary friction in society.
I can't wrap my head around why people have deemed all police officers as horrific people because of a few really bad ones. I can't imagine that a person whose child is kidnapped thinks the police are evil when they find the person's child. I can't imagine how people think the police that risked their lives to stop terrorist acts are evil. I can't imagine how people can think that a police officer who helps a stranded motorist late at night is evil. The police officers I've been honored to know are good, honest people. I have only had a run in with one officer and it was on a personal level when I taught his son. (I am 99.9% sure that after the fact he realized his son had lied and was in the wrong but I never received an apology. So who knows?)
Second, why is okay to defund police departments (That should be interesting for crime rates!) while looters and rioters walk away without any fines for the damage they've caused? 2020 has been a rough year for a lot of small business owners- first COVID-19 and then looters literally destroying their business. One business owner broke my heart with his story that I saw. He was an older, black man who looked to be close to retirement age. He was distraught about why, as a black man, he was a victim of the looters and rioters. He had just re-opened his business after having to stay closed for several months due to COVID-19. But, within a week of re-opening, the looters completely destroyed his business, wiping out his life savings. How can evil like that get so much media attention when it's so wrong? (And why is it okay to gets hundreds to protest but businesses are still at limited capacity due to COVID restrictions? Another blog for another day I guess.)
Third, why are so many people jumping on the "Systematic Racism" bandwagon? The Golden Rule is treat others as you would have them treat you. Despite trying to shelter our boys from the evil in the world, our oldest saw a clip of George Floyd dying with an officer's knee pressing down on his neck. He was very troubled by what he saw, which led us to having a conversation about right vs wrong. I told him that it was not okay for that officer to treat Mr. Floyd the way he did. But I also told him that you need to treat others with respect no matter what color their skin is, or what language they speak or how they look. EVERYONE deserves respect, including police officers. So, I can't jump on the Black Lives Matter movement because, to me, EVERY life matters.
Here's the thing: I don't know, nor will I ever know, what it's like to be a black person. That's not how God chose to create me. I will never know the oppression they face. I will never understand their fear of police officers. I do know that a lot of people choose to make it in this world despite their circumstances. I do know that a lot of people know right from wrong. I do know that a lot of people don't label others based on people's looks, race, nationality. And I do know I have hope that this world will get better. I've been reading the Old Testament a lot the past few months and I am appalled at how people were treated during those times. Innocent men beheaded or stoned. Others set up so they could be sentenced to death. But, here we are, thousands of years later and civilization still exists. Albeit, not harmoniously, but we're here. So that counts for something. And I'll keep praying that sooner or later we'll ALL start treating others how we want to be treated: with respect.
First of all, there are good people and bad people in this world. There are good black people and evil white people and vice versa. There are good cops and there are bad cops. There are good teachers and their are bad teachers. I can go on and on about every profession, every race, every nationality, etc but you get the point. What was done to George Floyd was despicable. He had no right to die a slow, very public death at the hands of that evil police officer. Quite honestly, I hope that officer gets the punishment he deserves for his actions. But one person can't define an entire profession. Last Fall, a local middle school teacher and her police officer husband committed some heinous crimes to children. Crimes that had me crying myself to sleep. But, thank God, my teaching profession was not thrown under the bus because of one evil person. The main stream media likes to hype up the controversy, point fingers and then play the "nice guy" role, causing unnecessary friction in society.
I can't wrap my head around why people have deemed all police officers as horrific people because of a few really bad ones. I can't imagine that a person whose child is kidnapped thinks the police are evil when they find the person's child. I can't imagine how people think the police that risked their lives to stop terrorist acts are evil. I can't imagine how people can think that a police officer who helps a stranded motorist late at night is evil. The police officers I've been honored to know are good, honest people. I have only had a run in with one officer and it was on a personal level when I taught his son. (I am 99.9% sure that after the fact he realized his son had lied and was in the wrong but I never received an apology. So who knows?)
Second, why is okay to defund police departments (That should be interesting for crime rates!) while looters and rioters walk away without any fines for the damage they've caused? 2020 has been a rough year for a lot of small business owners- first COVID-19 and then looters literally destroying their business. One business owner broke my heart with his story that I saw. He was an older, black man who looked to be close to retirement age. He was distraught about why, as a black man, he was a victim of the looters and rioters. He had just re-opened his business after having to stay closed for several months due to COVID-19. But, within a week of re-opening, the looters completely destroyed his business, wiping out his life savings. How can evil like that get so much media attention when it's so wrong? (And why is it okay to gets hundreds to protest but businesses are still at limited capacity due to COVID restrictions? Another blog for another day I guess.)
Third, why are so many people jumping on the "Systematic Racism" bandwagon? The Golden Rule is treat others as you would have them treat you. Despite trying to shelter our boys from the evil in the world, our oldest saw a clip of George Floyd dying with an officer's knee pressing down on his neck. He was very troubled by what he saw, which led us to having a conversation about right vs wrong. I told him that it was not okay for that officer to treat Mr. Floyd the way he did. But I also told him that you need to treat others with respect no matter what color their skin is, or what language they speak or how they look. EVERYONE deserves respect, including police officers. So, I can't jump on the Black Lives Matter movement because, to me, EVERY life matters.
Here's the thing: I don't know, nor will I ever know, what it's like to be a black person. That's not how God chose to create me. I will never know the oppression they face. I will never understand their fear of police officers. I do know that a lot of people choose to make it in this world despite their circumstances. I do know that a lot of people know right from wrong. I do know that a lot of people don't label others based on people's looks, race, nationality. And I do know I have hope that this world will get better. I've been reading the Old Testament a lot the past few months and I am appalled at how people were treated during those times. Innocent men beheaded or stoned. Others set up so they could be sentenced to death. But, here we are, thousands of years later and civilization still exists. Albeit, not harmoniously, but we're here. So that counts for something. And I'll keep praying that sooner or later we'll ALL start treating others how we want to be treated: with respect.
Thursday, June 11, 2020
If a Dog Can Remember
Yesterday was a hard day. After much thought, discussion and prayer we made the difficult decision to rehome Charlie. We had got him as a puppy and he was perfect for our family for the past year and a half. But, recently he started becoming aggressive toward people he didn't know. He chased after people and snapped at 2 kids who tried to pet him. We called behavior trainers and did what we could to limit his exposure to "strangers". But, at the end of the day, we knew it wasn't fair to him and it put us in stressful situations. We put him up on a pet adoption website and, after telling a couple people that he wouldn't be a good match for them, took him to his first face to face meeting with his potential new owner. I prayed the whole way there that I would know 100% that he should go or stay. Charlie made it obvious that he would be happy with his new owner so, with tears streaming down our cheeks, we said goodbye to him.
Throughout the night we cried and reminisced about our time with Charlie. Fetcha acted "off" and I think she was sad too. As E said, "She misses her playmate." Was Fetcha remembering her and Charlie running around the house after each other until they were worn out? Was Fetcha remembering that she hovered over her food bowl, letting Charlie know that it was not his food? Was Fetcha remembering how she and Charlie would lay by the picture window, barking at people who passed by?
And as Charlie *happily* adapted to his new house last night, I wonder if he remembered how much we loved him. I wonder if he remembered his special place on the couch, how he would pace if something or someone was in his place. I wonder if he remembered how he'd carry his pink blanket all over the house. I wonder if he remembered how putting him out in the morning was my first priority. I wonder if he remembered all the snuggles and cuddles we gave him. I wonder if he remembered checking the garden with me every day. I wonder if he remembered chasing the boys around the pool in fear that they were drowning. I wonder if he remembered running around the property or deer camp until he was exhausted. I wonder if remembered chasing after the boys when the rode their bikes. I wonder if he remembered Otis, playing with him and trying to steal his bone. I wonder if he remembered "wrestling" at night with the boys and Rob. So many things I hope he remembers because they are things we won't forget.
As his owner for 1 1/2 years, I remember all the joy and laughter he brought us. I remember how he'd get under my foot, wanting me to pet him with my toes. I remember how he'd jump up on my lap and cuddle with me while I read or watched TV. I remember how he'd come running when he heard the cheese wrapper. I remember how he would drag his big dog bed to his favorite place on the couch so he could have it all. I remember how he would jump on P every morning to wake him up. I remember how he would lay on the bath mat in the bathroom while I took my bath. I remember our nightly walks right before bed.
I hope Charlie remembers. I hope that he'll never forget how much we loved him. How we loved him enough to let him go to a new home, where he could thrive. Our hearts are broken and I don't know how long it will take to stop crying every time we think about him. (E and I had a little cry fest this morning when I realized Charlie wasn't in the laundry room.) In fact, I'm crying so hard right now that I can barely see the screen. So, I'm going to end this now. I remember....and I hope Charlie does too.
Throughout the night we cried and reminisced about our time with Charlie. Fetcha acted "off" and I think she was sad too. As E said, "She misses her playmate." Was Fetcha remembering her and Charlie running around the house after each other until they were worn out? Was Fetcha remembering that she hovered over her food bowl, letting Charlie know that it was not his food? Was Fetcha remembering how she and Charlie would lay by the picture window, barking at people who passed by?
And as Charlie *happily* adapted to his new house last night, I wonder if he remembered how much we loved him. I wonder if he remembered his special place on the couch, how he would pace if something or someone was in his place. I wonder if he remembered how he'd carry his pink blanket all over the house. I wonder if he remembered how putting him out in the morning was my first priority. I wonder if he remembered all the snuggles and cuddles we gave him. I wonder if he remembered checking the garden with me every day. I wonder if he remembered chasing the boys around the pool in fear that they were drowning. I wonder if he remembered running around the property or deer camp until he was exhausted. I wonder if remembered chasing after the boys when the rode their bikes. I wonder if he remembered Otis, playing with him and trying to steal his bone. I wonder if he remembered "wrestling" at night with the boys and Rob. So many things I hope he remembers because they are things we won't forget.
As his owner for 1 1/2 years, I remember all the joy and laughter he brought us. I remember how he'd get under my foot, wanting me to pet him with my toes. I remember how he'd jump up on my lap and cuddle with me while I read or watched TV. I remember how he'd come running when he heard the cheese wrapper. I remember how he would drag his big dog bed to his favorite place on the couch so he could have it all. I remember how he would jump on P every morning to wake him up. I remember how he would lay on the bath mat in the bathroom while I took my bath. I remember our nightly walks right before bed.
I hope Charlie remembers. I hope that he'll never forget how much we loved him. How we loved him enough to let him go to a new home, where he could thrive. Our hearts are broken and I don't know how long it will take to stop crying every time we think about him. (E and I had a little cry fest this morning when I realized Charlie wasn't in the laundry room.) In fact, I'm crying so hard right now that I can barely see the screen. So, I'm going to end this now. I remember....and I hope Charlie does too.
Wednesday, June 3, 2020
A Funk
Do you ever get in a funk? Or am I the only one? I've been in one off and on this week. Monday I got some news at a doctor appt that I wasn't expecting. Not bad news, but just something I've never dealt with. And then the doctor had to leave to deliver a baby so I didn't get to discuss this unexpected news or ask questions. Monday night I used a coffee bath scrub that I had just received. I don't know if it was that or so much running through my mind but I tossed and turned all night. Yesterday I woke up tired. But as the day went on my mood started getting better. We bought a big tent and are planning on going camping soon. We haven't tent camped as a family so, other than the heat, I'm super excited about it. I also had a friend come over with her kids to swim yesterday with the boys. So I was in a good mood and slept really well last night.
Then today I woke up in another funk. These riots and looting have me unsettled. It breaks my heart that people are destroying things and hurting others just to make a statement. I'm all for speaking up and for the peaceful protests that are taking place. But, the selfish destruction has me down in the dumps. Then my dr appt still bothered me most of the morning. I finally decided to do something about it and change doctors, for a chance to be heard. And the icing on the cake to add to my funk is that we had to cancel our annual Summer vacation to visit my parents. Every year the boys and I go stay with them for 3 weeks and cram as much fun as possible into our time together. But, this year, that's not going to happen. My dad found out that he has to wear the walking boot for 2 more months (!!!) and I am not comfortable flying yet, with the Coronavirus still very active. It was a hard conversation to have with the boys but we all decided that it's for the best.
Another part of my funk is not being able to do Bible study with my co-workers the past couple weeks. I really miss digging into the Word together and doing life together.
All of this is messing with my emotions...and my sleep. I am going to start a paper chain countdown. Not the kind where you count down to Christmas morning, but the kind where I can count down until 2021. I am praying that is a better year than 2020 has been! Next Jumanji level?? A possible hurricane! Stay tuned for more fun......
Then today I woke up in another funk. These riots and looting have me unsettled. It breaks my heart that people are destroying things and hurting others just to make a statement. I'm all for speaking up and for the peaceful protests that are taking place. But, the selfish destruction has me down in the dumps. Then my dr appt still bothered me most of the morning. I finally decided to do something about it and change doctors, for a chance to be heard. And the icing on the cake to add to my funk is that we had to cancel our annual Summer vacation to visit my parents. Every year the boys and I go stay with them for 3 weeks and cram as much fun as possible into our time together. But, this year, that's not going to happen. My dad found out that he has to wear the walking boot for 2 more months (!!!) and I am not comfortable flying yet, with the Coronavirus still very active. It was a hard conversation to have with the boys but we all decided that it's for the best.
Another part of my funk is not being able to do Bible study with my co-workers the past couple weeks. I really miss digging into the Word together and doing life together.
All of this is messing with my emotions...and my sleep. I am going to start a paper chain countdown. Not the kind where you count down to Christmas morning, but the kind where I can count down until 2021. I am praying that is a better year than 2020 has been! Next Jumanji level?? A possible hurricane! Stay tuned for more fun......
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