If a Dog Can Remember

Yesterday was a hard day. After much thought, discussion and prayer we made the difficult decision to rehome Charlie. We had got him as a puppy and he was perfect for our family for the past year and a half. But, recently he started becoming aggressive toward people he didn't know. He chased after people and snapped at 2 kids who tried to pet him. We called behavior trainers and did what we could to limit his exposure to "strangers". But, at the end of the day, we knew it wasn't fair to him and it put us in stressful situations. We put him up on a pet adoption website and, after telling a couple people that he wouldn't be a good match for them, took him to his first face to face meeting with his potential new owner. I prayed the whole way there that I would know 100% that he should go or stay. Charlie made it obvious that he would be happy with his new owner so, with tears streaming down our cheeks, we said goodbye to him.
Throughout the night we cried and reminisced about our time with Charlie. Fetcha acted "off" and I think she was sad too. As E said, "She misses her playmate." Was Fetcha remembering her and Charlie running around the house after each other until they were worn out? Was Fetcha remembering that she hovered over her food bowl, letting Charlie know that it was not his food? Was Fetcha remembering how she and Charlie would lay by the picture window, barking at people who passed by?
And as Charlie *happily* adapted to his new house last night, I wonder if he remembered how much we loved him. I wonder if he remembered his special place on the couch, how he would pace if something or someone was in his place. I wonder if he remembered how he'd carry his pink blanket all over the house. I wonder if he remembered how putting him out in the morning was my first priority. I wonder if he remembered all the snuggles and cuddles we gave him. I wonder if he remembered checking the garden with me every day. I wonder if he remembered chasing the boys around the pool in fear that they were drowning. I wonder if he remembered running around the property or deer camp until he was exhausted. I wonder if remembered chasing after the boys when the rode their bikes. I wonder if he remembered Otis, playing with him and trying to steal his bone. I wonder if he remembered "wrestling" at night with the boys and Rob. So many things I hope he remembers because they are things we won't forget.
As his owner for 1 1/2 years, I remember all the joy and laughter he brought us. I remember how he'd get under my foot, wanting me to pet him with my toes. I remember how he'd jump up on my lap and cuddle with me while I read or watched TV. I remember how he'd come running when he heard the cheese wrapper. I remember how he would drag his big dog bed to his favorite place on the couch so he could have it all. I remember how he would jump on P every morning to wake him up. I remember how he would lay on the bath mat in the bathroom while I took my bath. I remember our nightly walks right before bed.
I hope Charlie remembers. I hope that he'll never forget how much we loved him. How we loved him enough to let him go to a new home, where he could thrive. Our hearts are broken and I don't know how long it will take to stop crying every time we think about him. (E and I had a little cry fest this morning when I realized Charlie wasn't in the laundry room.) In fact, I'm crying so hard right now that I can barely see the screen. So, I'm going to end this now. I remember....and I hope Charlie does too.