Perspective

I wrote 4 goals to accomplish in 2018. I'm on my way to making sure 3 of them are accomplished by the end of December. But, one of them I've struggled with: Choosing joy every day. It's always been easy for me to see the negative side of things. I try not to let it show but sometimes it does. Sometimes I say ugly things about others in an attempt to make myself feel better. Sometimes I  put myself into a funk, focusing on the negative.

But, twice this week, my morning devotions focused on perspective. Then I read an Instagram story about a lady who changed her perspective toward her husband, which helped their marriage tremendously. It was the wake up call I needed.

So yesterday, I focused on changing my perspective. For example, when one of my students told me he lost his glasses, instead of thinking "Well, that's typical. Of course he did." I thought "How can I help him be successful in my class until he finds his glasses?" I also went to the place where he said he lost them and asked if they had been returned to Lost and Found. When I was at Spin class, struggling to finish class, instead of grumbling about how hard it was, I focused on the fact that it may be the only time I get to the gym this week so I better give it 110%. I'll be honest. This last situation took some prayer to change my perspective because it's a constant pet peeve of mine. Rob came in from work and immediately fell asleep. At first I thought, "Really? He's been gone for 10 days and he can't even take time to play with the boys outside or do yard work?", "He kept me up most of the night, snoring, and yet he can come in and go to sleep while I help P with homework and do my own schoolwork?" I'm not gonna lie. I had this mentality until I left for the gym. But then I prayed about it and slowly changed my mindset to, "I'm glad I have a husband who works hard enough to come home tired at the end of his work day." 

Feeding on the negative doesn't do any good. In fact, it takes a lot of unnecessary energy. It also doesn't make you any fun to be around. So, I am working on changing my perspective, finding the positive, the good, instead of the negative. I am excited to finish 2018 strong and to CHOOSE JOY every day!

Camping Blues

I am supposed to be floating around a lazy river right now instead of blogging. I am supposed to be embracing the heat instead of grumbling about it. I am supposed to be camping. And, to be honest, I am a little melancholy that I am not. BUT, there's too much good this weekend to be in a funk. P is at his best friend's birthday party, having a blast no doubt. E has a pseudo sleepover last night, which ended at 10pm with both five year olds in tears- one because he wanted his mommy and one because he didn't want his mommy, but wanted his best friend to stay. Before the tears, however, we had fun at putt-putt golf and Chuck E Cheese (Thank you to whoever created the unlimited time play cards. You're a genius!). Today E's best friend came back over so he could go sweat to death with me on the sidelines, keeping me company during E's soccer game by telling me who he was taller than, who he could run faster than, who he could outplay in soccer. Then we had ice cream for lunch because, well, that's probably what we would've done if we had been camping. But, out of all the good that has happened this weekend, the best was a phone call I had with Rob this morning. He recently took a new job within his company after "beating out" over 30 applicants. The supervisor told him at the time that he knew Rob would be good for the job but he still had hesitations because the other three finalists were as, or more so, qualified for the position. That same supervisor called him yesterday to tell him that he is very impressed with the reports he's received while Rob's been on the storm work. He said that he knew he had done right when he offered Rob the position but that decision has been magnified over the past 10 days. I had no doubt from the get go that Rob was perfect for the job. He's the best of the best in line work and knows what needs to be done. He is also a workaholic and puts his job before just about anything else. So, for one of the big wigs to not only be informed of that but to call Rob and commend him on it made me more proud than I already am of him. Being away from us hasn't been easy and, while I miss him terribly, the boys have been stellar while he's been away. So that has helped tremendously. But, knowing Rob's on the road, heading our way even as I write this, and knowing that other people see in him what I've known for the past 11 1/2 years made the time apart worth it. There will always be another camping trip, another weekend to create those memories. I'm just glad that we've created the memories that we have this weekend...and even more glad that  Rob soon will be home to join in on them with us!

Theme Song(s)

Sometimes songs get stuck in my head. I wake up singing them. I go through the day singing them. I fall asleep thinking about them. I wake up in the middle of the night with the lyrics spinning through my mind. I think the reason my current song of choice, "Life Changes" by Thomas Rhett, has a permanent playlist in my head is because it coincides with real life at the moment.
I'm a "plammer". I have things written on the calendar months in advance. I make lists on my phone and around the house of different things, activities for the boys, vacations, etc. But, one thing I have really been working on in recent years is being more flexible. I'm learning to enjoy the moment instead of having it planned to a "T". I am learning that plans can change and life will keep on keeping on even if everything gets changed around.
I am also learning that, although we have not perfected it yet, Rob and I have really got this teamwork thing working for us. We make a busy life, with two active boys and two demanding jobs, happen with the support of each other. Because, "Life's a dance. You learn as you go....." (John Michael Montgomery) in case you're wondering.) We communicate and formulate plans on how to get everything done.
So that's why I'm working on the "being flexible" part of life right now. Rob is currently supervising crews on storm work, which threw a wrench in this weekend and next weekend's plans. This weekend he was going to hang out with the boys at E's soccer game and a birthday party while I hosted a baby shower. Next weekend we were all excited about camping at a luxury RV resort. Since we haven't camped since moving here, I think I was looking forward to it the most. But, you know what? Life changes and plans have to be rearranged. I have to ask for help and be ok with it. I'm not going to pretend to have it all together because I've been spoiled in recent years, having Rob around all the time. I'm not going to pretend that I'm not just a tad stressed out about this weekend or more than a little disappointed that we won't be camping next weekend. But it's not the end of the world. I am happy that Rob can help people in a time of need. I am happy that we have two awesome boys who step up to the plate when Daddy is gone to help me out. I am happy that I have inlaws who will help with the boys this weekend. I am happy that the RV resort will still be around when Rob gets back and we can go camping as a family once things get back to normal. I am happy that we've got friends here who check in on me and Rob, asking if they can help. I am happy that life changes. Ok, maybe that is a stretch. But at least I am happy that I've learned how to be flexible when life changes.

"Ain't it funny how life changes

You wake up, ain't nothing the same and life changes

You can't stop it, just hop on the train and

You never know what's gonna happen

You make your plans and you hear God laughing

Life changes and I wouldn't change it for the world...."

Busy Bees

Usually, the beginning of the new school year symbolizes the end of Summer. It symbolizes life slowing down. Except not for us. Fall/Winter seems to be the busiest time of the year for us. Soon, after the school year began, we enjoyed a family weekend at the beach. Then, last weekend, the boys and I spent Saturday afternoon with friends, tackling AMN courses at a downtown event. Ok, I didn't try any of the courses but the boys loved it! This weekend E's soccer games began for the Fall season. Today, P and I left the game early so we could go be beekeepers for a few hours. It's a prize I had won and we thoroughly enjoyed our time, learning about honeybees and how to extract honey. The next two weekends are packed with a baby shower, a birthday party, church, soccer games and camping. As soon as soccer is over, football will begin.
The weekdays aren't boring either. P decided to sign up for 4-H so he's got meetings for that. E has soccer games. I have my gym classes and training for a 10k that I'll be doing in December. My photography business tends to pick up. For us life doesn't slow down until....2019??
And you know what? I wouldn't change it for a minute! Yes, I get tired and yes, I get stressed trying to get everything done. But I love, love, LOVE that the weekends allow me to be a hands-on mom. We get to introduce the boys to new things, cheer them on during their games, take small trips, watch them explore their passions. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! Bring on Fall. Bring on the busyness. Bring on the memories!!

Bonding Time

Within the past year or so Rob and I began acknowledging that E is more bonded to him and P is more bonded to me. We have taken steps to find ways to bond with the other child so that we can have strong, rock solid bonds with both boys. Sometimes that is easy to do and sometimes it is hard. P and I have a lot in common, as do Rob and E, so that parent/child bond is more natural. But I do my best to compliment both boys equally, give affection to both boys equally, spend QUALITY time with both boys equally, etc.
Yesterday Rob was going to pick the boys up from school and head to deer camp for the night. I'm not gonna lie. I was looking forward to having 24 hours to myself. Although I love spending time with my boys (Rob is included in "my boys") on the weekends, I also love having ME time...going to bed early (or late), watching what I want on TV (or not having the TV on at all), sleeping in (or waking up early), drinking my coffee in solitude. BUT, Rob got called out to investigate an accident, meaning I had to get the boys from carpool. That gave them just enough time to get home and have E scheme with his best friend to have a sleepover at his friend's house for the night. I could tell Rob was disappointed that E chose his BFF over his daddy but I also know that it has been good bonding time for P and Rob. It has been nice for me and E as well. This morning, when he got home, we went to a local farmers market, where he bought a birdhouse with the money my parents had sent him. Then we got donuts and bought birdseed. We came home and painted the birdhouse before I made him his favorite food for lunch...rolled tacos (apparently I got the wrong kind, though, and they were too spicy but I tried). Once his best friend got home, I took both boys to make slime and out for ice cream sundaes. It hasn't been all 1:1 bonding time with me and E but it was nice to have some alone time with him this morning. That has been my hardest adjustment with him being in Kinder now- not having 1:1 time with him in the afternoons.
I know parent/child relationships (well, ALL relationships), ebb and flow. Some times E and I will be closer than other times and some times Rob and P will be closer than other times. But we put forth the effort and I hope that's what our boys remember when they are grown and out of the house. That we both tried to do out best, to love our best and to bond the best with BOTH boys!

Two Years Ago!

There are a lot of good things in life you'll always remember: birthdays, your wedding day, the day your child(ren) were born. There are also some not-so-pleasant-downright-ugly days that are hard to forget. For me, that's the day my Nana took her last breath with me by her side, 9-11 and the Great Flood of 2016 two years ago.
I am not going to rehash it all because I've already done that...twice. But I'll tell you a few things I won't forget from the whole experience: teamwork, hard/backbreaking work with no complaining, water as far as the eye could see, teamwork, two little boys that never once uttered a complaint despite being in their daddy's truck all day-with little food- because we were too busy helping people, teamwork, a sense of community, feeling so bone chilling cold and tired beyond belief, knowing our house was close but felt a million miles a way, the feeling of panic when Rob's truck started filling with water, the comfort of the Pastor's son playing the piano at the church while we sandbagged it, people coming together in time of need.
After the flood waters receded I felt a sense of hopelessness because of all the despair. I remember feeling stranded because we couldn't get anywhere. I remember jonesing for a Coke like nobody's business and how good it tasted once we finally got one. I remember that we put silly stuff up high like DVDs instead of finding ways to elevate our furniture (Thankfully we didn't flood).
Some of those feelings/memories may recede as time goes on. But one thing I will always remember is how this small like community pulled together, with the outside world, to provide. Provide time, labor, money, donations, cleaning supplies, meals and our non-flooded homes. As devastating as it all was, there was also a sense of pride in being a small part of this helping community! We still have a ways to go to completely rebuild but we're getting there one day at a time.

The End of the Good

Does that title sound dramatic to anyone other than me? I couldn't figure out a better title for what's on my mind so it is what it is. Today, Aug 6, signifies the end of the Summer for us. Yes, the hot Southern temps will still be soaring (as will the humidity) but the Summer fun will be no more. It wasn't as busy of a Summer as in years past but we still did memorable things- a trip to Cali (SoCal), Houston, sleepovers, etc.. The Summer flew by and I don't feel mentally prepared to start a new school year. But tonight I will make sure lunches are packed and everything is ready to walk out the door in the morning. And tomorrow I will wake to an alarm clock for the first time in weeks. And I am not excited about any of it like I usually am.
 E is more excited about the new school year than P and I are...combined! P is nervous about starting a new school. This year he went from being our social butterfly to being an introvert almost over night. It's been a weird adjustment for me but I am trying to give him space so he can figure out when he wants to be with friends and when he wants alone time. That by itself has me worried about him starting a new school  but he'll make new friends and love his school before too long. Me however? For only the second time in my teaching career, I am not excited for the new school year. The first time was because the principal I worked for was a bully and I dreaded going to work, knowing I had a target on my back. Without going into details, I will assure you that is not the case this year. I have nothing but the utmost respect for my current principal. It's just a year that I'd be ok with being a substitute at the boys' school or a stay at home mom/photographer. But this too shall pass and when I start to get frustrated with things, I will think back on all the fun we had this Summer...and look forward to next Summer. Only 9 more months and counting!