Missing Her

The things that absolutely drove me crazy about Ruby are the things I now miss. OK, I don't miss her tail whacking the wall and my leg and Easton's face but I miss other stuff. (To find out more about her death skip the Country Dweller blog and scroll down one more.) Rob and I laughed about how when she wagged her tail her entire body wagged. She was that happy....all the time. She would jump on people when she got too excited to see them. I would give almost anything to have her huge paws on my belly for a quick second, the way she used to do. One of her greatest jobs in life was to clean up after the boys when they were done eating. She'd try to wait patiently but sometimes her excitement would get the better of her. Easton would start screaming in protest as she pushed his high chair around, trying to eat the food that had dropped under his legs. Tonight when I had to clean up the high chair seat I cried. When she'd lay down in our room and fall asleep she was the loudest sleeping dog I've ever been around. I don't know what recurring dream she had but it would make her twitch and yelp until one of us would wake her up. Without fail, every time she fell asleep she'd whimper and move around. Since she slept with P, he'd often wake the next morning telling me he was tired because she kept him up making noise. Just about every morning she'd disappear for a few minutes. When I'd go to take my shower I'd see the reason for her disappearance....to drag Rob's towel from the previous night out of the bathroom. She never did anything more than drag it into our room but it used to drive me crazy. Now I realize how silly I was for getting worked up about such a minor thing. Another habit of hers was grabbing the dirty paper towels out of the garbage can and shredding them. It would infuriate me when she'd do it. Now I wouldn't mind seeing bits of paper towel lying at the base of the garbage can. She thought she was a big lap dog. The minute I sat down she'd come over and put her head on my lap. She loved attention and any kind of affection you'd give her. Oh how I miss that big, goofy Lab of ours. In time I know the pain will ease but for right now the memories flood me and cause me to shed a few tears here and there. Oh Ruby girl, your life was cut too short and we miss you terribly.

Country Dweller in Me

I grew up in a city. I went to college in an even bigger city. When I moved back to my hometown I swore I would not stay there long because it was too small. Fast forward a few (ok, maybe several) years and now I have absolutely no desire to live in a big town (but sadly, I do). I guess, to be honest, I want the best of both worlds. I want to live on land where I can have chickens and goats and more than a couple dogs and a huge garden. BUT, I also want neighbors close so I won't lose my sanity and the boys will have kids to play with. Much like we had in the Highlands only without the water issues and crazy mountainous drive and tough soil where you couldn't grow anything without a state of the art greenhouse.
When we moved here we talked about planting a garden but alas we haven't (and won't) plant one. Instead, I've been "living" off the land thanks to various people. One neighbor has given me a few of her chickens' eggs. One of Rob's co-workers gave him a generous amount of banana peppers, tomatoes and pepper jelly. An elderly neighbor across the street has "adopted" me and the boys and is always extremely generous in sharing her fresh, garden herbs and produce. In fact she's the one that has kind of challenged and encouraged me to step out of my box in the way of cooking. She shares recipes, has set up a subscription for me to get Better Homes and Gardens, and has taught me about freezing herbs. She is an awesome Southern style cook so whenever she brings us a meal she tells me how she made it and/or what gives it the special flavor.
Today I realized we had a lot of produce and I didn't want it to go bad, especially because it came from other people and not our own wallets. If you know me well you know that I LOVE projects, crafts, learning new things. Sitting still on a weekend is not an option for me unless I am sick or absolutely dog tired (which is rarely the case). So I googled how to can stuff...and spent the entire afternoon doing so. I ended up making fresh spaghetti sauce and learned that, after a 3 hour process of making and canning it, the $1.68 that I pay for Ragu sauce is well worth the price for my time and effort. I also canned 3 jars of banana peppers. I have yet to taste them as it's taken a long time for them to cool but if they turned out good I'll be excited to do more. They were super easy! I also cut up and froze some other veggies to use in the future.
It was a fun, busy and MESSY learning experience! I'd love to live off the land more but for now I'll be happy with the generosity of others sharing their homegrown stuff. Ah, the life of a city mouse trying to be a country mouse (If you've read that children's story you get it).

Losing a Loved One

In the early hours of Friday morning one of our family members passed away unexpectedly. It was a four legged family member but a family member none the less. Thursday evening, right before we left for P's baseball game, Ruby came in the house panting heavily and foaming at the mouth. It was a hot day so I thought she'd just got overheated while playing with the neighborhood kids (She never knew a stranger and loved playing with kids!). But by the time we got home from the game she could barely walk. Rob was at work so I texted him and told him to call me immediately. He did and I told him the situation. He asked me to monitor her and keep him updated. She went back and forth for the next few hours, from not being able to stand to walking around the backyard and getting a drink of water. By the time I went to bed, a little before midnight, I thought she was coming back around and would be fine but Rob reassured me he'd check on her when he got home. Fast forward a couple short hours later. She wasn't doing well and we realized she wasn't going to make it. When she passed away Rob took her to a place he knew she'd love and laid her to rest. We stayed up the rest of the night, talking about her and the fact that we'd have to tell P when he woke up. You see, when we first got married I had a dog, Roxy. After I became pregnant with P we went to get Rob's dog, Holly, from MS. But when Ruby came along she quickly became P's dog. Those two were inseparable! She drove me crazy with not minding and hitting her tail on everything but I had no doubt that she'd protect the boys with her life. She never hesitated to put herself in danger for them. When P woke up Friday he immediately asked to see Ruby, asking if he could get close to her since I had told him he had to stay away from her the night before. Rob gently told him that Ruby had gone to be with Holly (our Lab that we had to put done last Spring once we found she was riddled with cancer). As expected, he sobbed in Rob's arms for about 20 minutes. Then he crawled into my lap and asked to see pictures of her. Surprisingly he went about the rest of his day as if nothing was wrong. I attributed it to not being able to say goodbye to her, not knowing she was knocking on heaven's door. But last night, as I was reading him his Bible story, he broke down and started crying again. He said he wouldn't be able to sleep because Ruby wasn't there to protect him. Once again Rob stepped in and gently reminded P that Ruby would be his guardian angel dog. That calmed him down and he was able to go to sleep without a problem. This morning he's talked about her and how much he misses her. Our morning walks aren't the same without her. Fetcha, our adopted stray dog, is depressed without her and keeps looking for her. It's going to take awhile to adjust to our happy, sweet, hyper dog no longer being with us. She was a one of a kind and she will be greatly missed!

Motivating Myself

I have learned a couple things about myself this week....I am much more motivated on a sunny day than a rainy one and I am more motivated when I start my day with a walk. My boys and I have gotten into the habit of going for a walk/bike ride immediately after breakfast, before the Southern heat becomes unbearable. I absolutely love living in a neighborhood where I can enjoy this luxury, something I didn't have in Nevada (Luxury as in walking through a neighborhood, not the unbearable heat!). By the time we've walked through the neighborhood a couple times I feel I've gotten my daily exercise, I've started wearing the boys out in preparation for a later nap and I'm energized to get housework done. The other day it rained ALL day long and you know what? I didn't get more than one load of laundry done. All day. I was a couch potato and I hated how I felt at the end of the day. I now look forward to my morning time with the boys, getting our Vitamin D and breathing in the fresh air. I can't wait to go on our morning walk tomorrow.....if it doesn't rain.

 

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Baseball Star

At the first practice, I hung my head because he was "THAT" kid. You know? The one who didn't know how to hold a bat. Who didn't know how to run bases. Who spent more time playing with the dirt and grass than he did playing baseball. I told Rob that he definitely had a chance at earning the "Most Improved Player" award because he had nowhere to go but up. That was about 6 weeks ago. Today I held my head proud. My son is becoming quite the baseball player!! Tonight he hit a double and got a RBI when it was his turn at bat. I am so proud of how he's starting to focus, how he's taking the game seriously, how confident he's becoming in his ability. He's one of the youngest on the team, one of the few that didn't play baseball last year but he's getting it!! He may not be voted MVP for the team but he's definitely sealed the MVP vote with me. I am one proud mama, one who can sit back and enjoy how far my son's come in 6 short weeks! I can't wait to see how good he is at the end of the season...a short 3 weeks from now. Let's go #4!

My Youngest

My boys are about as opposite as they can be. They both have a lot of energy but that's about as far as the similarities go. I would bet my last dollar that the first ER visit for an injury will be because of our youngest son. Now that he's walking he is into EVERYTHING! His new favorite thing to do? Play in the toilet water. **IF you have a queasy stomach, skip to the next sentence.....The other day I actually caught him dunking his chip in the-clean-toilet water AND eating it.** I came so close to throwing up as I scooped him up and ran his mouth (Okay, maybe his entire face) under the kitchen sink. Today while I was cleaning up the lunch mess and my oldest was in his room on a Time Out, I heard my youngest drinking something. Before I could register that his sippy cup was in my hand I looked over and saw him drinking from his big brother's water paint cup...that was full of water PAINT. His favorite outside activity? Riding his trike down the middle of the road. I am so thankful that we don't live on a super busy road; but we still get enough traffic that it concerns me. If I turn my back for even a minute and his trike is within reach I know I'll find him heading down the driveway as fast as his little legs will carry him. He climbs on everything and then loves to get down in whatever fashion he deems appropriate. Jumping has been his method of choice lately. The scariest thing for me is that "NO!" doesn't register for him. I've tried swatting him. I've taken harmful things away that he's playing with and have replaced it with a safe toy. All to no avail. He is me reincarnated. Apparently I was a very strong willed little girl (I hardly believe that, though, because of how docile I am today!! HA!) so my youngest is following in my footsteps, or so I'm told. I pray for his safety and my sanity every morning, knowing that the day will hold some type of new adventure with him. There's one in every family I guess and he's ours. I love him to pieces but Lord help me!! :)

A Year.....

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of the start of Rob's job here. A job that he's wanted for a long time, a job that has taken me (and the boys) away from everything I know. Today I'm homesick and sad and lonely so maybe it's not the best to blog about this today but I will anyway. A year. Some days it seems like yesterday. Other days it seems like a lifetime. It's been the same as I envisioned it to be. In the past year I've experienced pretty much every emotion I can think of.....anger, loneliness, happiness, excitement, resentment, joy, acceptance, defeat, frustration, contentment. I've dealt with depression but I've had moments of happiness. I've been brave and I've been a coward. I've been extremely lonely and have shed a river of tears but I've also been happy and have laughed. I've faced both rejection and acceptance. I've enjoyed days and have dreaded days. It's been a rollercoaster of emotion for me this year. Some days I think I could buy a house here and be content. Other days I want to hightail it back to Nevada as fast as I possibly can. So many things I miss there. But in this past year I have learned to rely on God first and myself second. I've always been an independent person but this past year has taken me to a whole new level of independence because I've had to. Do I like it? Not so much. But I'm proud that I've become stronger than I could've imagined. A year. Sometimes a lifetime. Sometimes a moment in time. A year.

Opening Ceremony

Our lives have become intertwined with T-Ball. P joined his first organized sports team and practiced 2-3 times a week for the entire month of May. The games were supposed to start last week but got rained out. So tonight we had the opening ceremony to signal the official start of the (one month) season. Geaux Cubs!!!!!

 

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3 Musketeers vs 3 Amigos

My lil guys and I have been inseparable...well, since Easton was born! We're like the 3 Musketeers. We do EVERYTHING together! Sadly, I've never spent the night away from Easton and rarely even get to go the bathroom by myself. We're that close. We eat every meal together. We go for walks together. We jump on the trampoline together. We explore together. We read together. We travel together. We run errands together. We....you get the point. Sometimes Rob joins in on the fun but for the most part it's me and the boys. That is until recently. P is slowly pushing me aside (not in a bad way, mind you) for his friends. He spent almost all of Saturday with his best friends, Connor and Greyson. Then last night he spent the night at their house...and had a blast. The trio is quickly becoming the 3 Amigos and now it's just Easton and me doing stuff together. Don't get me wrong. I have prayed for the boys' social life here as much as I have prayed for mine. So I'm glad that prayer is being answered. The boys' family is very nice and the boys are sweet, respectful young men. But every time there's a knock at the door and they're asking if P can come play it makes it even more obvious that my lil man is growing up too fast. Soon- sooner than I want to think about- he'll be living on his own and I'll be an "empty nester". This past weekend has made me realize that I won't do good in that phase of my life. Five years ago I couldn't imagine what life would be like as a parent and now I can't imagine what it'll be like without my boys under the same roof as me. I'm so thankful that BOTH of my boys are Mama's boys and I pray that we always have a close knit relationship like we do now. Yes, we get on each other's nerves and yes, we butt heads but I love being the 3 Musketeers with the cutest boys on Earth. I'm so thankful that I get to thoroughly enjoy these young years with my boys before their social lives take over completely....and I'll keep enjoying them as long as they'll let me.