Blessed When Blah

I woke up in a blah mood. A mood where I wished I worked a 9-5 job so I could call in sick and stay in bed all day. Mainly because it's my birthday in a couple weeks and I know the difference in celebration at home vs here. (It's one of 2 days out of 365 that I want to be selfish and have all the focus on me for as long as possible!) Mainly because Easton was screaming and nothing could console him. Mainly because I don't want to start my last year of my 30s. Mainly because I'm homesick. Mainly because we realized that a trip I was anticipating to N. Carolina is not going to happen. Mainly because.....
It took me until an hour ago to shake this blah feeling and realize how blessed I am even when I don't see life through rose colored glasses. I'm blessed to be a SAHM, even on the hard days. On those days I push myself harder so when I go to bed at night I know I'm made the most of my "job". Today started out with reading to my oldest son as we cuddled in bed, then taking my youngest son (and our mutt) for a walk after getting home from taking P to school and going to the produce stand. Throughout the day I was blessed to have enough time to get 5 loads of laundry done, pickles canned, a work email sent, time on the exercise bike, our bathroom scrubbed clean, my closet organized, quiet time with my Bible and the floors vacuumed.
It's easy for me to focus on the things that have me down right now but it's these times that it's the important for me to realize just how blessed I really am.

I Have a Dream

Actually I have many of them....every night. Monday I dreamt I was a secret spy with my good friend, Krisi, and that we were driving through the streets of Chicago in a Lamborghini. (I've never even been to Chicago!!) Tuesday night I dreamt I moved back to California. The moving truck was jack knifed at the end of my parent's street but when a police officer asked me about it I couldn't tell remember where I had moved from. Last night I dreamt that I was in Carson Valley with a friend from LA and my good friend, Krisi (again). We were working on a fundraiser for my friend who had been in an accident (That part is real and true) and I kept crying because I missed NV so much. I've read that there is meaning in dreams and I believe it. But I honestly wish I could get through a night of undisturbed sleep, where I woke up the next morning feeling rested instead of more exhausted. I've tried most of the tricks....exercise during the day but not before bed, don't eat anything after dinner, take a warm relaxing bath, drink herbal tea. Nothing seems to work for me. It's not a matter of not being able to sleep. I'm so tired every night that I typically fall right to sleep. If I wake up during the night I usually fall right back to sleep. It's just when I'm asleep it's not peaceful sleep. If anyone knows of any other tricks (other than warm milk which grosses me out) please share. I want to sleep, really sleep, without dealing with the rest of the world.

Zoo Fun

Since we had so much fun at the zoo this weekend I couldn't wait to blog about it. BUT....little hands explored on the computer yesterday and I just got done doing a complete system restore. UGH! I'm thankful, however, that it was a fixable problem and that I can now share about our zoo adventure.

We got there right when the zoo opened Saturday morning and couldn't have asked for more perfect weather! Both boys love animals so it was a lot of fun watching them look at each exhibit. We even got some tree climbing and playground time in before we left. What a fun family time together! (And Rob tried to take some pics with me in them but I funktified my camera settings and it was too hard to explain about back button focusing to get the camera to work in his hands.) But I promise I was there and enjoyed the time outside of just taking pictures of my cute boys and the animals!

Brings Back Memories

If you were to walk past this print, you may glance at it. You may take a minute to stop and really look at it, thinking it's cute. But to me, this print is a priceless piece of art. This print has brought me to tears on more than one occasion. And I'm happy to say that this print is now hanging in our house. Here's the story....
Shortly after Ruby unexpectedly passed away we went to Bass Pro to look around. I hardly ever stop to look at prints there but for some reason I did during that specific trip. I saw this print and it immediately made me cry. You see we got Ruby when she and P were about a year old. She was a wild child, a stubborn pup who liked things her way. But she was so gentle with P (or quick to play chase if he wanted to) and quickly became his dog. The year before we moved to LA, Rob took Ruby and P duck hunting a few times. Although they never sat on a porch to do it we had a porch at the house we rented, in which P would sit and pretend to "hunt". I know this picture is not perfectly posed and the dog seems to have better things to do than sit still for a picture, which is why I love it so much. It represents P and Ruby perfectly in their younger days.
When I had seen the print the first time we didn't buy it. But once we got home I couldn't get it out of my mind. I went back to buy it and found, much to my dismay, that it had sold out. I got online to see if I could order it but never found the print. Then I started second guessing myself, thinking that my emotions created this print and that it never really existed. Until today. I took E to Bass Pro to feed the (rather aggressive) ducks/geese and he wanted to go inside to see the "ish". In a last ditch effort, I went to see if the print that has consumed my mind was there...and it WAS!!! I immediately teared up, especially because it was the last one there. I finally have my "Ruby Print"! It is now hanging above P's art table to remind him of his duck hunting buddy, one he still talks about often. I've teared up a few times since it's been in my ownership because I miss Ruby so much. But I'm glad I finally found this priceless print to bring back the memories of P's crazy, out of control yellow lab who wreaked havoc...and created so many memories for our family!

A Lost Art

DING! Ooh, who is texting me?
5? 5 Facebook Notifications? I wonder who commented on what.

I watched P talk to our elderly neighbor, telling her about his school day. But I noticed that he rarely made eye contact during the conversation. As we walked away I talked to him about looking someone in the eye when talking to them so they know that the conversation is important to you. I continue to reiterate the importance of showing someone you care about what they're saying by making eye contact when in a conversation. BUT THEN I NOTICED THE REST OF THE WORLD. How is my son to learn the value of eye contact when people rarely make it a priority anymore? People are too busy looking DUMB with their SMART phones to pay attention to the conversation right in front of them. I can walk through a store, the church hallway, even a family's house and see people more engaged with their phone than with the conversation at hand. I can't tell you how many times Rob and I have sat next to each other on the couch, after the boys are in bed, rehashing our day all the while looking at our phone screens. Who cares what Joe Schmoe is commenting about on Facebook? Especially when you haven't seen the guy since high school!! Technology is ruining the art of conversation and it's becoming a major pet peeve of mine.
Yes, there are days when the boys are on my last nerve and Rob is working late and I just want to vent. So it's easy to lose myself in Facebook, watching what everyone else is doing. But then I catch myself not giving my undivided attention to the conversation my 5yr old wants to have. It doesn't matter if I could care less about the latest episode of "Wild Kratts". It's important to him to it should be important to me. If nothing else because I'm teaching him a lost art....how to have a true, meaningful conversation.
I'm not sad that my text notification alert has mysteriously stopped functioning so I don't know someone has texted me unless I specifically look at it. (Maybe it's God's way of opening my eyes to how addicting my phone can be!!) I keep my phone volume turned up merely for the function of a phone. Yes I hear my email alerts ding and sometimes I have to stop myself from picking up my phone to check it immediately. But it's nice not being a slave to my phone. It's actually refreshing when I have to search for my phone because it's been a couple hours since I've used it.
I know I can't change everyone's behavior. It's not my job nor do I have the time or energy to do so. But I can change my behavior in hopes of modeling respectful behavior for my sons. If my boys are taught to answer with a "Yes Ma'am", "No Sir" then in my book those good manners must also be accompanied with eye contact. Let's bring back the lost art of conversation and learn how to engage in friendships, community and relationships again....and not just the ones online!

A Tad Less Homesick

It's no secret that I get homesick. Not a day goes by that I don't think about home and what our friends are up to. But this last week it was only daily thoughts instead of hourly. It could be because starting last Thursday we've been super busy. Thursday I got to have the day to myself! My MIL came to town to watch E so I could volunteer in P's class and go to a dr appt. I was also able to squeeze in a much needed pedi (my first in months!). Then Thursday night I went to a choir dinner at church to preview our Christmas music. Friday morning E and I went to a friend's for a swim party. We had a great time and it eased my conscious a little since we haven't done any play dates since P started school. I already blogged about this past weekend and the fun we had up north, which brings me to this week.
On Tuesday I had training so I could start my new job. I thought it would be hard leaving E for the first time all day with a non-family member but it wasn't bad at all. He did much better than I thought he would. I felt fine about leaving him because he is being cared for by our youth pastor's wife instead of some random daycare. I did pretty good being away from him until about lunch time and then I started getting anxious to go get him. Luckily my neighbor was able to get P from school because there was an accident that delayed traffic, causing me to get back later than planned. I can say that I forgot how hectic it is to get everyone out the door and to work on time in the morning. I consider myself pretty organized but even then it was a small feat to get us all where we needed to go in a timely fashion. Yesterday I had to finish up paperwork for my job so E was at his daycare provider's again for the morning. Last night Rob stayed with the boys so I could go to the women's Bible study at our church. It's been nice having so much adult interaction the past week or so. I didn't realize how much I craved it until I got it on a daily basis.
We were going to take the boys to the big zoo this weekend but we decided to put it off. It's been a busy week and the past couple weekends we've been busy as well. I'm looking forward to having a relaxing day tomorrow to get some things done at our leisure. It's not the same as being home and going to the Hot Air Balloon races but at least it's been a good week.

Weekend Getaway

For the first time in about a year, we took a quick family trip up north. It rained most of the time we were there but that didn't stop us from having fun. I felt like a Duck Commander stalker because we went to the warehouse, Willie's Diner and to their church. We also went a few others places and I got to meet Rebecca, Willie's adopted daughter. Since it was raining we didn't get to do everything we wanted but we sure had fun going to the children's museum.