A Birth Story

Almost every year I share the miracle surrounding P when he was just days old. But I never share E's birth story, which is a miracle as well. The backstory starts when I was in my mid-20s. I had endometriosis and was told I'd most likely never have kids. When Rob and I got married we decided to start trying for kids immediately given our age and my medical history. We were surprised that I was able to get pregnant with P within just a few months. So, when P was a year old we decided to try to get pregnant again, wanting the boys to only be a couple years apart. Sadly, it didn't happen as fast as it had with P. In fact, after over a year of trying I went to a fertility specialist. We went through a series of tests and realized my body was the reason we couldn't conceive easily. Rob and I decided we'd try fertility treatments in hopes of having a second child. The first attempt was unsuccessful but I felt with my entire being that the second treatment had been successful. I had peed on so many sticks that all showed positive. I also ate Chinese food like nobody's business and I'm not usually a fan of Chinese food. I was absolutely heartbroken when the nurse called me and told me I wasn't pregnant. By the time I had my third injection I was convinced I was not pregnant. I called Rob and told him I didn't think it had taken. We had already decided that, if I wasn't pregnant after the third attempt, we'd stop trying. Imagine my surprise when the nurse called to tell me that I was indeed pregnant!
Fast forward about 9-10 months and a whole lot of pounds.....I had gone into pre-term labor more times than I could count. It got to the point where a couple of the nurses knew P when we came into the hospital and would cater to him like it was a 5 star hotel. I was on bed rest for most of December in hopes of E not being born until closer to his due date. On Dec 30 I had awoke not feeling well. It was snowing outside and I told Rob I wanted to play hookie from church so I could rest. Rob said, "Please don't go into labor today. It's storming outside and Green Bay is playing a big playoff game today." I rested all day but by halftime I had tears streaming down my cheeks due to contractions. When Rob realized I was having contractions he mumbled something about false labor and "rushed" me to the hospital. (As much as you can rush with a few feet of snow on the road.) Both of my friends who were supposed to keep P for the night were not able to get him for various reasons. So we called some good friends who lived about an hour away. They have a hefty truck but it was near white out conditions so it was taking them quite awhile to get to the hospital. At one point my doctor came in and said that our friends better hurry because our lil man was ready to make his arrival into the world. Our friends showed up with about 5 minutes to spare. Rob no more than got in the operating room and E was born. He has been taking us by storm ever since!
All births are a miracle but E's birth was our miracle and we are so happy he is in our lives. He keeps us on our toes but I cannot imagine life without him! I am so thankful that the Lord chose us to be his parents and to provide us with the miracle of his life!

Broken Traditions

As I get older, the more important traditions become to me. I love the holiday season and all the traditions it brings! From a big turkey dinner on Thanksgiving to our elf's (Shooby) crazy antics to looking at Christmas lights to a Christmas Eve service to E's birthday celebration to lighting fireworks on New Years Eve. It's all so special to me and holds memories that are near and dear to me. But this year was different. Maybe it's because Thanksgiving was so late in the year. Maybe it was because Rob, E and I were all sick at some point between Thanksgiving and now. Maybe it's because I let go of being a control freak so I could just enjoy the memories we did create.
This year Thanksgiving was not a traditional turkey feast like I'm used to. We had shish kabobs and side dishes in miss matched dishes. We had a store bought dessert instead of my homemade peach cobbler. We never once went and looked at Christmas lights. I don't ever remember not looking at Christmas lights! But every time I suggested it, the boys shot it down, saying they didn't want to look at lights. We didn't candy cane bomb cars, which was one of our favorite things from last year, that we decided would become a new tradition. I baked Santa's cookies by myself and I did feel a little like the Little Red Hen because everyone swooped in AFTER the cookies came out of the oven to eat them.
This year I did find out the traditions that were important to the boys. They wanted to play a family game of football on Thanksgiving day. They couldn't wait to open 1 gift on Christmas Eve. They loved reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and "Cajun Night Before Christmas" and the Birth of Jesus in the gospel of Luke before bed on Christmas Eve. They couldn't wait to see what Santa brought them in their stockings and they impatiently reminded me that we needed to do the German pickle after our Christmas meal.
The day after Christmas, P climbed into bed with me after Rob left for work and said, "Mom, yesterday was one of the best Christmases. It was nice to spend the day as a family." To him, that was the most important part of Christmas. It wasn't how well Rob timed passing out gifts at o'dark thirty Christmas morning. It wasn't about the variety of side dishes and the homemade peach cobbler for Christmas dinner. It wasn't about all the gifts he got that he enjoyed playing with. It was about spending time as a family. He also loved having one of Rob's co-workers join us for lunch because the guy doesn't have any family in town. P talked about having him here a lot.
That's the stuff I want them to remember when they are older. The traditions are important but the quality time as a family is even more important! This year, after stressing so much a few days before Christmas, it was important to me to savor the special moments. Instead of capturing the moments on my camera, I captured them in my heart. I don't have a lot of pictures from Christmas this year but I sure have a lot of precious memories! Just the way it should be....

Christmas

Between Thanksgiving and today, Rob and I have both been sick. Couple that with 4-5 Christmas parties, school events and preparing for Christmas and it's been a little chaotic around here. Although the date never changes, I feel as if Christmas has snuck up on us this year. But, even as I scramble to get last minute shopping done (or buying yet another Dirty Santa gift for a Christmas party) I am thankful for the store employees that I come across. Every one of them has taken the time to say, "Merry Christmas" or "Have a Blessed Christmas". That's not the norm out West. In fact, it made me terribly sad when I was visiting with a friend this Summer and she told me that in Kindergarten, students are now being taught that there are 15 different genders. Or that all ELA adoptions from here on out have to be gender neutral, without the use of "he"" or "she" in the text. In 2nd grade, students are being taught explicit Sex Ed classes. Out West, *most* people worry about being PC so if they do acknowledge Christmas it's with a "Happy Holidays". Knowing that there are different ways of life depending on where you live, it makes me appreciate that much more the fact that at 3 different Christmas parties, a prayer was said before eating the food. It makes me appreciate that the superintendent of the local public school system in which I am employed sent out an employee email, reminding everyone that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus, our Savior. It makes me appreciate that, at one of the boys' public school events, a student began the ceremony by opening in prayer. These are things I LOVE about the South. So, if I don't have a chance to do so before the 25th, let me with you a Merry CHRISTmas from our families to yours. I hope that, in all the hustle and bustle, you take time to reflect on the birth of Jesus, how He has blessed you/your family this year and how much HE loves you!!

Generous Acts

To me, part of Christmas is about the spirit of giving. If I had my way,  I'd give all the gifts and not receive any in return. I love watching people open gifts! I guess I enjoy it so much because I try to get people the perfect gift, based on conversations I've had with them or their interests. When that is reciprocated, random acts of kindness or someone's generosity, it really sticks out in my mind.
That's why I am so impressed with Rob's company. Well, mainly I'm impressed with his current boss. Not only does he make his employees feel appreciated but he also makes their families feel appreciated as well. He hosted a Christmas dinner for his management team and their wives. At the dinner, he had door prizes and gave each wife a personal, handwritten note, expressing how much he appreciates her for supporting her husband. It's not often that a boss will go out of his way to make everyone feel so special. His generosity means a lot to me and it makes it that much easier to support Rob, knowing he is appreciated. I wish everyone was so kind and giving with their time and/or money!

Blessed Beyond Belief

I know we are blessed beyond belief. But, it's this time of year, that it really brings it home for me. Every year, at Christmas, I let the boys choose a few toys for kids in need. Some years we have supported the local Sheriff's toy drive. Some years we have filled the shoeboxes for kids in other countries. Every year since P was in kindergarten we have supported at least one kid from his school. This year we supported two kids from our school and one from church through a prison ministry. Usually, it gives me great joy to buy for kids less than fortunate than ours. But this year I let the stress of the holidays take away from that joy. I was being selfish and it didn't hit me until today, when P and I were at our local Christmas parade. I was watching as candy was being thrown out from the floats. Kids and adults were standing on the edge of the road, turning their nose up at the Tootsie Rolls or Dum Dums. When we left the parade route, I looked at all the candy littering the road. I even asked P a couple times if he wanted to pick up some of the abandoned candy. And he responded the same as everyone else, "No, I don't like that kind." People around us probably didn't think twice about his response or the candy on the ground. But I haven't been able to get it out of my head all afternoon. For close to 2 years, we have sponsored a kid through Feed the Hungry. He and P exchange letters back and forth several times a year. I remember one letter in particular where he shared his excitement about his dad finally building an outhouse for the family to use. P couldn't believe that he hadn't had a "bathroom" until then. I thought about Dara today, about how he may have reacted to the parade, to all the candy being thrown to people. He most likely would've been beside himself with excitement. I also thought about some of the students at our school that come to school in dirty clothes or with hungry bellies on a regular basis. They eat the cafeteria lunch even on Korean Beef day (yuck!!) because they know they might not eat again until the next morning. I wondered if they'd turn their nose up at the discarded Tootsie Rolls.
I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer. I really don't. It just bothers me and I wish there was more I could do to help. We donate when we can (I even give a few dollars to the Salvation Army buckets and I don't even like how they use their donations.), but it never seems to be enough. I guess I'm writing this to whoever is reading the blog to ask that you do your part in helping those in need this year. It may be kids or elderly people or animal shelters or whatever tugs at your heart strings. I just ask that you give your time or your money to help brighten someone's day. Sharing some Christmas cheer can go a long way in someone's life!

Oh, What a Weekend It Was!

Sometimes you just have a pretty spectacular weekend and this one goes down in the books as just that. Friday night I went to my work Christmas party. It was low-key but fun to hang out with co-workers outside of the school setting. I laughed way too much and ate way too much good food! Yesterday morning the boys were thrilled to find that our elf, Shooby, had brought them a gingerbread house kit. They got right to work in building it...and eating all the contents. Last night we went to the Christmasville Spectacular at a local church. They incorporated Christmas carols, a live nativity scene, a petting zoo, hot chocolate and Santa all into one night. It was a pretty amazing night, one that I have grown fond of as a Christmas tradition. This morning the entire family woke up early because P and I ran the Tiger 5K. It was his first 5K and he was nervous. But he runs a *much* faster mile than me so he wanted to run the course on his own. I prayed him through the entire thing as I ran about a mile behind him the entire way. When the Finish Line came into view, P ran out from behind the gates to run across the finish line with me. It gave me chills when the announcer said both of our names as we crossed together. It meant so much to me to have him run this 5K with me. Once we got home and cleaned up, we finished putting up Christmas decorations (Rob has been sick since Thanksgiving Day and just started feeling human again this weekend). Rob climbed up on the roof to hang lights for the first time since we got married....and I may have swooned a little. Tonight we ended the weekend with a homecooked meal and E's best friend ate dinner with us. In between all the fun stuff I ran errands, did Christmas shopping and took a nap. That, in my opinion, makes for a pretty spectacular weekend!!

Socially Awkward

I have always been a social butterfly. My elementary school report cards even say so. But as I have gotten older I have changed. I still like getting together with friends. But I prefer a handful of friends getting together rather than going to a large party. I guess it's because, over the course of the past year or so, I have realized how socially awkward I have become. The filter doesn't always work from my brain to my mouth and I say really dumb stuff. Or I don't pay attention to who is around me and say something that I immediately regret. Or I'm not fully listening to the conversation and give an odd response to the conversation at hand. One thing that is difficult for me is accepting compliments. Before Rob and I got married, I had a roommate that used to say, "When someone compliments you, just say 'Thank you' and let it be." It's hard for me to do it, like I am not worthy of a compliment. The other night a co-worker/friend gave me a compliment about teaching. Instead of just saying "Thank you", I immediately listed my credentials for her. Who cares what grades I've taught? It was nice that she noticed my ability to teach multiple grades and I should've just accepted her compliment for what it was.
Last night I had my staff Christmas party. I know most of the staff by now but I was still nervous about saying the wrong thing. Of course, I put my foot in my mouth twice while my principal was within earshot. Rob said not to worry about it but that's stuff I overanalyze to death.
Because of things like this, large social settings can make me nervous. I worry too much about what people think about me and I already know I talk too much (thanks to my youth pastor's wife from my teen years). So I have prayed about it and do my best to think before I speak. Most of the time, when I'm in a large social setting, I just clam up so I don't say the wrong thing or talk too much. I've come to accept this though because I've prayed about it and have tried to learn from different situations. I can only do what I can do. I'm human.
But I make no guarantees the older I get. One of these days I'll be one of those old ladies that offends everyone with my opinions. Such is life.....HA!

Christmas Traditions

At our staff Bible Study this morning the theme was family traditions and whether we carry them on or not. It got me thinking about so many of our traditions over the years- some that we've kept and some that we've abandoned. I think, hands down, my favorite tradition started a little later in my childhood (maybe even after I became an adult??). Every year, after the presents have been opened and the Christmas meal has been cleaned up, an adult (usually my mom if she's with us) will hide the German pickle somewhere in the Christmas tree. Then it becomes a free for all for someone to find it. The only rule is you can't knock over the tree and whoever finds it first gets a prize such as a gift card or cash. It's a tradition that my family loves and one that the boys have come to love as well. When we were unwrapping Christmas ornaments a few days ago they got so excited when they unwrapped the German pickle because it's a tradition they love. Another tradition that we started later in life, but I love as well, is on Christmas Eve. We would go to a church service then we'd eat dinner at In-N-Out Burger and drive around to look at Christmas lights. I love the memories of those special nights. We now live across the street from our very own Griswald family so we don't have to go too far to look for a lot of lights. Last year I didn't appreciate their over-the-top Christmas lawn décor. But this year I find it endearing because it reminds me of looking at lights with my parents. Another tradition that we had was that we got to open one present early. As an adult, I have figured that this was probably rigged because we always opened clothes/Pjs. But my brother and I loved getting a sneak peek into what would come.
Some traditions we have started as our own family, blending childhood traditions. On Christmas Eve, after the Christmas church service, we gather as a family and read about Jesus's birth. We also read "Twas the Night Before Christmas". I wasn't sure if the boys really like this tradition but both boys have been reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas" (the original and Cajun versions) in anticipation of Christmas so I guess they like it better than I thought they did. We also started the tradition of the elf on the shelf. The boys love waking up to find the elf's crazy antics...or the little gifts he's brought.
Some traditions have died out over the years for whatever reason. My family and I used to get together with other families in the church and go to the mountains to cut down our Christmas tree. I have no doubt I grumbled about this (especially the year I got sick eating way too much homemade peanut brittle), but now looking back that, that was a fond time in my childhood. I cherish those memories we created with friends. My parents have a tradition of the "Orange Man" coming after the tree is up and fully decorated. I've heard the story behind it but it's not a tradition I've cared to carry on with my family. (Maybe because I'm not a huge fan of oranges??) When we first got married, Rob and I would get excited for eggnog milkshakes to hit fast food joints. We got them quite often and compare which place made the best one. But I can honestly say that I don't think I've had one since moving to LA. Once again, I don't know why that tradition stopped but I miss it.
Traditions are important for a lot of reasons. I am glad I have been able to close my business (It was officially dissolved yesterday!) in time to enjoy the family traditions that we enjoy this time of year. I know that things can get crazy with Christmas shopping, parties, baking, events, etc. But I am so happy that I have learned how to slow down over the years so I can enjoy the traditions that are important to us. I want the boys to look back over their childhood Christmases with fond memories because of the tradition we enjoy each year.

(I am really tired and it's been a long day so please forgive any errors as I'm too drained to really edit it.)

Christmas Tree

Earlier this week I realized that I was able to blog every day in November, despite it being our busiest month of the year. So I am going to continue to be intentional about blogging more often.....

I've never had an artificial tree. I love the smell of a real tree and I love that a live tree is one-of-a-kind, just like people. The problem is, is that I like to put the tree up the weekend after Thanksgiving but they usually die before Christmas. But, I asked around (ie I posted it on FB) and was pointed toward a local nursery with a great reputation. So, with shorts on since it was 80+ degrees out (there should be a law against buying a Christmas tree when it's above 60 degrees out) we drove to the nursery to find the perfect tree. The employees there went above and beyond in helping us find a great tree for us. Rob couldn't go with us because he's sick but when we brought the tree home he was quick to cut off the bottom and help me get it in the stand. I think I was a little overzealous when I got the tree because we usually get a 6' tree and this year our tree is around 8'. It takes up so much of our living room but Rob said it's one of the best looking trees we've ever gotten. While the tree was "settling", the boys and I finished decorating the rest of the house. E hounded me to death about when we would decorate the tree because he was so excited. Finally, after dinner, I pulled out the lights and started stringing them around the tree. We didn't have enough white lights so I had to run out and buy more. Even after getting another 100 lights there's still a few inches at the top of the tree that are lightless. But, depending on the angle you're looking at the tree, you wouldn't notice. Once the lights were up, we pulled out the ornaments. I have to say I'm envious of people that have those perfectly put together trees, the ones that look like they belong in a magazine. But, watching the boys look at our ornaments and talk about each one and the memories it holds is priceless. Once they start talking about how special each ornament is I forget that our tree will never grace the cover of a magazine but that it is indeed perfect for us. Case in point: last year I had bought some really nice stockings so they would match and look classy in front of our fireplace. But, P got upset that his stocking that his Gee made him wasn't up. So once again our stockings are mismatched but they hold memories and that's part of what Christmas is all about. I love this time of year- the memories we reminisce about and the memories we create. Our tree may not be perfect with its crooked topper and lightless sections but we put it together as a family, creating more memories and I love it!