Pins N Needles

I don't do well not knowing. Not knowing the plans. Not knowing the details. Not knowing what's going on around me. That's why Easton's birth is wreaking havoc on me. I am thrilled to be adding to our family but this pregnancy has been so different from P's. Part of it is because I didn't have another child to worry about. Part of it is because, other than being born around my favorite holiday, I didn't have to worry about P's birth impeding on anyone's plans. I feel horrible that we can't be in MS for Christmas this year. I feel horrible that I can't truly enjoy the holiday season because I'm constantly on pins and needles, wondering if today's the day. I feel horrible that Rob has to worry about me and cancel plans when I'm having an "off" day. I feel horrible that my parents dropped everything in the midst of getting ready for hosting my brother and sister in law to get here last week when it looked like I'd be on bed rest for awhile. I feel horrible that my MIL is sick and most likely won't be here for Easton's birth as originally planned. But the thing I feel the most horrible about is having these feelings when 20 parents just lost their young children when they innocently sent them to school last Friday. So I will do my best to enjoy our time as a family of 3 before our family expands to 4....either before or after Christmas, either before and after the New Year. One day at a time, one moment at a time......