Goals

One of my (many) flaws is that I'm a perfectionist. I don't like failing and I am especially hard on myself when I do. Maybe that's why I haven't written New Years resolutions very often. Or maybe ever? This year I did. I wrote out 4 very attainable goals that I had one year to accomplish. 365 days to succeed in accomplishing 4 simple goals. I have 13 days left in 2018 and I will not accomplish ANY of the goals. At one point during the year, I was close to achieving all of them. Now I just see the list taped to my mirror as an epic fail.
Maybe, at the end of the year, I will cross out 2018 and put 2019 and start all over again. Come hell or high water, I will accomplish my 4 simple goals at some point in my life and at some point, they will become that year's resolutions. HA!

Friendships

"Good friends care for each other, close friends understand each other, but true friends stay forever beyond words, beyond distance and beyond time."

Thanksgiving morning I wanted to send out a text to my close friends, letting them know how special they are in my life. By the time I sent it, I had sent it to 8 ladies who I consider to be my closest friends! 8 friends! That's crazy to me that I have 8 ladies in my life that I consider to be close friends. Friends that I can call day or night for any reasons. Friends who will cry with me or simply just listen as I unload. Friends who I can ask for advice or who will keep my confidence. Friends who will laugh with me (or at me) and who help me build lifelong memories.

They are not friends with whom I speak daily. In fact, one of them I usually only speak with once or twice a year. Sadly, they are not friends I see often. Three of them I am happy if I see them every couple years. But, when we see each other, we make the most of our time together. 

Each friendship is unique. Each friendship adds so much to my life. I am thankful for ALL of my friendships but I'm especially thankful that God blessed me with these 8 ladies to get through life with.

Bucket List Living

The other day, during my run, I listened to Andy Grammar's "The Good Parts", which got me thinking about life. In 8 days I will be running my second 10k. I have also run three 1/2 marathons (in three different states with three different friends) and a dozen or so 5ks. I have traveled to 27 states, 4 continents, and 8 countries. I have sat next to one of the closest people in my life while she took her last breath and have lost young friends to cancer. But I have also brought two lives into this world. I have hiked, snowboarded, wakeboarded, boogie boarded, snowshoed, skateboarded, and rode dirt bikes. I have ridden horses and sat on a camel's back. I have read hundreds of (if not 1000+) books. I have been to Disneyland and Disneyworld. I have seen the Pacific and the Atlantic. I have floated in the Red Sea and was baptized in the Jordon River. I have come in close proximity to elk, deer, antelope, bears, coyotes. I have owned houses and rented apartments. I have played on soccer, football, and softball teams. I have been at the top of the ladder for jobs and have been the low man on the totem pole. I have been an employer and an employee. I have had jobs that I have loved and jobs that I tolerate to pay the bills. I have lived in 3 different states, in suburban and rural areas.
I have never, and probably will never, create a bucket list. But I try to live life to the fullest. I don't live with regrets but if God offered a "Rewind" button, there are certain times in my life I would push it and have a do over. There are also times I would like a "Pause" button because I want to cherish certain moments. I want to keep our boys young because I can't imagine life once they move away. There are still places I would like to see- Alaska, Hawaii, the Carolinas, Australia and Ireland. But if I never get to see them, that's ok. I have seen more of the world than most people ever will. In fact, if I died tomorrow, I would know I have lived my best life. I don't have a bucket list but I sure have experienced a lot in my 43 years on this Earth and I am thankful for all of it.

Thankful

My morning devotions were about being thankful for all the amazing things God has done. Then, today's sermon, was from 1 Thes. 5, about having an attitude of gratitude. I can be a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but I figured God is using those two things to change my perspective. The pastor said something that struck a chord with me..."It's hard to say 'Thank You, God' when you're grumbling and complaining." After church I was thinking about the sermon and I realized that, for the first time in years, I have not used November to acknowledge my blessings on a daily basis. How could I forget something so important? So, I'm going to give it to you all in a lump sum.....
First and foremost, I am thankful for my Heavenly Father Who loves me despite my imperfections.
Second, I am thankful for my husband who is my biggest supporter in life.
Third, I am thankful for our boys who bring so much laughter and joy to our lives.
Fourth is our family. My parents continually amaze me. I strive to be the kind of parents they've been to me and my brother.

The rest of what I am thankful for is in no particular order. It's just what comes to mind when I type:
.* Our health. Yes, we get sick and have aches/pains but, after listening to a testimony of someone at church today, it makes me appreciate our good health even more.
* Our beautiful house. I love our subdivision and so many things about our house.
* Our crazy dogs. Our puppy drives me crazy but the dogs make us laugh every day.
* Our friends. It was a struggle for me to make friends when we first moved here. Now I have a solid tribe, as do the boys. I am also thankful for my West Coast friends, with whom I still keep in contact.
* The boys' school. I was nervous about them starting a new school this year but it has been a real blessing.
* Our cars. They are reliable and one of them is paid off. (YAY!!)
* Our fridge. We have so many choices of food every time we open the door. Even when we're "low" on groceries, we still have so much more than many others.
* My new niece. She's beautiful and hopefully I will get to hold her in my arms someday SOON.
* Photography. It provides a creative outlet for me and brings in some income for our family.
* Our jobs. It is nice to have a steady income and I am thankful that my job is flexible enough that there's not much I miss out with when it comes to the boys.
* Means to travel. We have been able to go to so many places this year, introducing the boys to new places and revisiting some "old" favorites.
* Heating and A/C. We live in the South so enough said.
* Freedom of religion and free speech. This almost gets me emotional because I love that we live in a country where we can say what we want and worship at the church of our choice.
* Cooler weather. I am thankful for it for many reasons (Can anyone say "No humidity??") but I love that it just naturally slows down life a little. The other night I told Rob I was going to bed early because I was bored...and it made me happy to admit that I had nothing to do.
* Football. Not NFL or even college football. I am thankful for the boys' football teams. It's been fun watching them play this season.
* My students. They are such a blessing. I love the interaction I have with them on a daily basis.
* Our neighbors. I am thankful that we have a close knit community on our street, who watches out for each other and offers help when needed.
* Books. How do people live without books? Reading is my escape from reality and I love how my imagination goes wild when I read a good book.
* Our bed. Last night was a rough night with the boys coughing and P snoring. So, on that note, I am thankful for the nap I'm about to take.

I hope that you take a few minutes to acknowledge what you are thankful for. There is so much that we take for granted and I want to start being more purposeful in my gratitude, for the many blessings in our lives.

Alone Time

I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. At one point, in my twenties, I was told that I would most likely not be able to have kids. I remember calling my mom as I was leaving the surgeon's office, bawling my eyes out because of that possibility.
Now that I have two wonderful boys, I love spending every minute with them. Weekends are my favorite because we lounge around, cuddle, explore new things, go for walks, watch family movies. All my life I've dreamt of being a mom, doing these things. That's why I can't understand when parents choose to be away from their child(ren) often (I am not talking about divorce or a job situation). I'm not judging. I just don't understand because, with my boys, is my favorite place to be.
That being said, Rob took the boys to deer camp last weekend. And I'll be honest. I cherished my alone time. I went to dinner with one friend, not worrying about getting home in time to say goodnight to the boys. The next day I spent the day doing a 15 mile garage sale with a different friend and it was nice not having to worry if I was affecting anyone else's schedule. I fell asleep on the couch one night, drank hot coffee in a quiet house both mornings, got to watch what I wanted (and I can guarantee it wasn't PJ Masks, Paw Patrol, Dude Perfect or any of the Sharer brothers) at the volume I wanted. It was nice and I felt refreshed by the time the boys got home Sunday afternoon.
Would I want to have an "alone weekend" more than once every few months? Probably not. I love my time with my boys way too much. But, once in a blue moon, it's nice to recharge, live a weekend in relative silence, be on my own agenda. Because in the long run, I think that alone time helps me be a better mom- a goal I'm always striving for!

Hello Fall!!

Fall is one of my favorite times of year. However, it is a very busy time of year. This Fall is no exception. We're only halfway through the month and I feel like we've already done a year's worth of stuff these past few weeks!
While I try to give equal blog time to both boys, this has been quite a month for our All American athlete, our youngest son. The first weekend of the month he finished his soccer season. It wasn't his best one yet, and his team didn't win too many games, but he still said he wants to sign up again for Spring soccer. He had a one day break before beginning Football season. It's his first time playing, but it's no surprise that he's a natural. He loves it and I can't wait until he starts playing his games. If Soccer and Football weren't enough, he also tried Mutton Bustin' at the local rodeo. To say he loved it is an understatement. He stayed on for a lot longer than I thought he would and as soon as he fell off, he hopped back up, wanting to find his discarded cowboy hat. As we walked to the car, he was telling us all about how he wants to ride sheep and then ponies and then bulls. His daddy gave him a resounding "no" in response to his new goals in life. Ha!
To top it off, he is officially toothless as of last week. OK, he still has most of his teeth but he hasn't the cutest gap where his bottom 2 teeth used to be. He lost his first tooth on my birthday night. He loved that he got money, but was upset that the Tooth Fairy hadn't left him a coloring sheet like she had when P lost his tooth at my parents' house. I had forgotten about that so thankfully my parents came to the rescue and sent one for him. Last night he lost another bottom tooth. This morning, he proudly came into our room, waving a $2 bill, stating that he got another $5 and he can't wait to see what the Tooth Fairy left for him at Gee and BobBob's (my parents') house. He cracks me up!
If all that wasn't enough excitement, we added a new family member to the bunch. The boys and I had gone to the annual Fall Fest the first Saturday of the month. Now, let me preface it by saying that P and I would adopt every dog if possible. We know that we can't go to adoption events because we always want to take every single dog home with us. That being said, he and I have shown great restraint the past few years in passing up several puppies we have fallen in love with. However, earlier this month, we couldn't pass up a little black puppy with a few white patches. Both boys and I fell in love with him so we talked Rob into letting us adopt him. His name is Charlie and he is a lovebug! He does not like to be away from his people and lets the world know how unhappy he is about being left alone. E promptly announced that since Fetcha is more P's dog than anyone else's then Charlie would be his. E's become a good dog owner- taking him out to go to the bathroom, cleaning up messes, feeding him, finding the perfect chew toys for him. Charlie, like most puppies, gets into everything, likes to chew on things, whines when he's left in a crate and has accidents. But I can tell that he's going to be an even more AWESOME dog once we get past this puppy phase. Even when he frustrates me by waking me up with his whining or having an accident in the house right after I've taken him outside, I still love that little rascal. And so do the rest of us (Fetcha included)! I am glad we waited to find the perfect puppy for our family because he was worth the wait.
And the icing on the cake...for me at least? My surprise birthday party! Every year, for as long as I've known Rob, I've told him that all I want is a surprise birthday party. Well, this year he pulled it off! He had given me just enough clues to really peak my curiosity but I thought he was going to take me to an outside concert. I met up with 2 girlfriends to go to lunch, get pedis and do a Fall craft. Then they took me home, where some of my close friends were waiting to surprise me. Rob catered dinner for us and bought the BEST ice cream cake I've ever had. It was a great evening of fun and friendship, a memory I will always cherish.
So, there you have it. A very busy month. Throw in a Kindergarten fieldtrip to the pumpkin patch, football practices 3 days a week, a busy few weeks for Rob, an awards lunch for the boys today, a movie night at my school tonight, a 4-H meeting for P tomorrow morning, Straight A report cards for both boys, a big photography project for me and the other usual hoopla and you have one very busy family life. But, like I've said a million times, I wouldn't have it any other way. I fall into bed every night, with a smile on my face, knowing I am truly blessed to be living this life.

Perspective

I wrote 4 goals to accomplish in 2018. I'm on my way to making sure 3 of them are accomplished by the end of December. But, one of them I've struggled with: Choosing joy every day. It's always been easy for me to see the negative side of things. I try not to let it show but sometimes it does. Sometimes I say ugly things about others in an attempt to make myself feel better. Sometimes I  put myself into a funk, focusing on the negative.

But, twice this week, my morning devotions focused on perspective. Then I read an Instagram story about a lady who changed her perspective toward her husband, which helped their marriage tremendously. It was the wake up call I needed.

So yesterday, I focused on changing my perspective. For example, when one of my students told me he lost his glasses, instead of thinking "Well, that's typical. Of course he did." I thought "How can I help him be successful in my class until he finds his glasses?" I also went to the place where he said he lost them and asked if they had been returned to Lost and Found. When I was at Spin class, struggling to finish class, instead of grumbling about how hard it was, I focused on the fact that it may be the only time I get to the gym this week so I better give it 110%. I'll be honest. This last situation took some prayer to change my perspective because it's a constant pet peeve of mine. Rob came in from work and immediately fell asleep. At first I thought, "Really? He's been gone for 10 days and he can't even take time to play with the boys outside or do yard work?", "He kept me up most of the night, snoring, and yet he can come in and go to sleep while I help P with homework and do my own schoolwork?" I'm not gonna lie. I had this mentality until I left for the gym. But then I prayed about it and slowly changed my mindset to, "I'm glad I have a husband who works hard enough to come home tired at the end of his work day." 

Feeding on the negative doesn't do any good. In fact, it takes a lot of unnecessary energy. It also doesn't make you any fun to be around. So, I am working on changing my perspective, finding the positive, the good, instead of the negative. I am excited to finish 2018 strong and to CHOOSE JOY every day!

Camping Blues

I am supposed to be floating around a lazy river right now instead of blogging. I am supposed to be embracing the heat instead of grumbling about it. I am supposed to be camping. And, to be honest, I am a little melancholy that I am not. BUT, there's too much good this weekend to be in a funk. P is at his best friend's birthday party, having a blast no doubt. E has a pseudo sleepover last night, which ended at 10pm with both five year olds in tears- one because he wanted his mommy and one because he didn't want his mommy, but wanted his best friend to stay. Before the tears, however, we had fun at putt-putt golf and Chuck E Cheese (Thank you to whoever created the unlimited time play cards. You're a genius!). Today E's best friend came back over so he could go sweat to death with me on the sidelines, keeping me company during E's soccer game by telling me who he was taller than, who he could run faster than, who he could outplay in soccer. Then we had ice cream for lunch because, well, that's probably what we would've done if we had been camping. But, out of all the good that has happened this weekend, the best was a phone call I had with Rob this morning. He recently took a new job within his company after "beating out" over 30 applicants. The supervisor told him at the time that he knew Rob would be good for the job but he still had hesitations because the other three finalists were as, or more so, qualified for the position. That same supervisor called him yesterday to tell him that he is very impressed with the reports he's received while Rob's been on the storm work. He said that he knew he had done right when he offered Rob the position but that decision has been magnified over the past 10 days. I had no doubt from the get go that Rob was perfect for the job. He's the best of the best in line work and knows what needs to be done. He is also a workaholic and puts his job before just about anything else. So, for one of the big wigs to not only be informed of that but to call Rob and commend him on it made me more proud than I already am of him. Being away from us hasn't been easy and, while I miss him terribly, the boys have been stellar while he's been away. So that has helped tremendously. But, knowing Rob's on the road, heading our way even as I write this, and knowing that other people see in him what I've known for the past 11 1/2 years made the time apart worth it. There will always be another camping trip, another weekend to create those memories. I'm just glad that we've created the memories that we have this weekend...and even more glad that  Rob soon will be home to join in on them with us!

Theme Song(s)

Sometimes songs get stuck in my head. I wake up singing them. I go through the day singing them. I fall asleep thinking about them. I wake up in the middle of the night with the lyrics spinning through my mind. I think the reason my current song of choice, "Life Changes" by Thomas Rhett, has a permanent playlist in my head is because it coincides with real life at the moment.
I'm a "plammer". I have things written on the calendar months in advance. I make lists on my phone and around the house of different things, activities for the boys, vacations, etc. But, one thing I have really been working on in recent years is being more flexible. I'm learning to enjoy the moment instead of having it planned to a "T". I am learning that plans can change and life will keep on keeping on even if everything gets changed around.
I am also learning that, although we have not perfected it yet, Rob and I have really got this teamwork thing working for us. We make a busy life, with two active boys and two demanding jobs, happen with the support of each other. Because, "Life's a dance. You learn as you go....." (John Michael Montgomery) in case you're wondering.) We communicate and formulate plans on how to get everything done.
So that's why I'm working on the "being flexible" part of life right now. Rob is currently supervising crews on storm work, which threw a wrench in this weekend and next weekend's plans. This weekend he was going to hang out with the boys at E's soccer game and a birthday party while I hosted a baby shower. Next weekend we were all excited about camping at a luxury RV resort. Since we haven't camped since moving here, I think I was looking forward to it the most. But, you know what? Life changes and plans have to be rearranged. I have to ask for help and be ok with it. I'm not going to pretend to have it all together because I've been spoiled in recent years, having Rob around all the time. I'm not going to pretend that I'm not just a tad stressed out about this weekend or more than a little disappointed that we won't be camping next weekend. But it's not the end of the world. I am happy that Rob can help people in a time of need. I am happy that we have two awesome boys who step up to the plate when Daddy is gone to help me out. I am happy that I have inlaws who will help with the boys this weekend. I am happy that the RV resort will still be around when Rob gets back and we can go camping as a family once things get back to normal. I am happy that we've got friends here who check in on me and Rob, asking if they can help. I am happy that life changes. Ok, maybe that is a stretch. But at least I am happy that I've learned how to be flexible when life changes.

"Ain't it funny how life changes

You wake up, ain't nothing the same and life changes

You can't stop it, just hop on the train and

You never know what's gonna happen

You make your plans and you hear God laughing

Life changes and I wouldn't change it for the world...."

Busy Bees

Usually, the beginning of the new school year symbolizes the end of Summer. It symbolizes life slowing down. Except not for us. Fall/Winter seems to be the busiest time of the year for us. Soon, after the school year began, we enjoyed a family weekend at the beach. Then, last weekend, the boys and I spent Saturday afternoon with friends, tackling AMN courses at a downtown event. Ok, I didn't try any of the courses but the boys loved it! This weekend E's soccer games began for the Fall season. Today, P and I left the game early so we could go be beekeepers for a few hours. It's a prize I had won and we thoroughly enjoyed our time, learning about honeybees and how to extract honey. The next two weekends are packed with a baby shower, a birthday party, church, soccer games and camping. As soon as soccer is over, football will begin.
The weekdays aren't boring either. P decided to sign up for 4-H so he's got meetings for that. E has soccer games. I have my gym classes and training for a 10k that I'll be doing in December. My photography business tends to pick up. For us life doesn't slow down until....2019??
And you know what? I wouldn't change it for a minute! Yes, I get tired and yes, I get stressed trying to get everything done. But I love, love, LOVE that the weekends allow me to be a hands-on mom. We get to introduce the boys to new things, cheer them on during their games, take small trips, watch them explore their passions. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! Bring on Fall. Bring on the busyness. Bring on the memories!!

Bonding Time

Within the past year or so Rob and I began acknowledging that E is more bonded to him and P is more bonded to me. We have taken steps to find ways to bond with the other child so that we can have strong, rock solid bonds with both boys. Sometimes that is easy to do and sometimes it is hard. P and I have a lot in common, as do Rob and E, so that parent/child bond is more natural. But I do my best to compliment both boys equally, give affection to both boys equally, spend QUALITY time with both boys equally, etc.
Yesterday Rob was going to pick the boys up from school and head to deer camp for the night. I'm not gonna lie. I was looking forward to having 24 hours to myself. Although I love spending time with my boys (Rob is included in "my boys") on the weekends, I also love having ME time...going to bed early (or late), watching what I want on TV (or not having the TV on at all), sleeping in (or waking up early), drinking my coffee in solitude. BUT, Rob got called out to investigate an accident, meaning I had to get the boys from carpool. That gave them just enough time to get home and have E scheme with his best friend to have a sleepover at his friend's house for the night. I could tell Rob was disappointed that E chose his BFF over his daddy but I also know that it has been good bonding time for P and Rob. It has been nice for me and E as well. This morning, when he got home, we went to a local farmers market, where he bought a birdhouse with the money my parents had sent him. Then we got donuts and bought birdseed. We came home and painted the birdhouse before I made him his favorite food for lunch...rolled tacos (apparently I got the wrong kind, though, and they were too spicy but I tried). Once his best friend got home, I took both boys to make slime and out for ice cream sundaes. It hasn't been all 1:1 bonding time with me and E but it was nice to have some alone time with him this morning. That has been my hardest adjustment with him being in Kinder now- not having 1:1 time with him in the afternoons.
I know parent/child relationships (well, ALL relationships), ebb and flow. Some times E and I will be closer than other times and some times Rob and P will be closer than other times. But we put forth the effort and I hope that's what our boys remember when they are grown and out of the house. That we both tried to do out best, to love our best and to bond the best with BOTH boys!

Two Years Ago!

There are a lot of good things in life you'll always remember: birthdays, your wedding day, the day your child(ren) were born. There are also some not-so-pleasant-downright-ugly days that are hard to forget. For me, that's the day my Nana took her last breath with me by her side, 9-11 and the Great Flood of 2016 two years ago.
I am not going to rehash it all because I've already done that...twice. But I'll tell you a few things I won't forget from the whole experience: teamwork, hard/backbreaking work with no complaining, water as far as the eye could see, teamwork, two little boys that never once uttered a complaint despite being in their daddy's truck all day-with little food- because we were too busy helping people, teamwork, a sense of community, feeling so bone chilling cold and tired beyond belief, knowing our house was close but felt a million miles a way, the feeling of panic when Rob's truck started filling with water, the comfort of the Pastor's son playing the piano at the church while we sandbagged it, people coming together in time of need.
After the flood waters receded I felt a sense of hopelessness because of all the despair. I remember feeling stranded because we couldn't get anywhere. I remember jonesing for a Coke like nobody's business and how good it tasted once we finally got one. I remember that we put silly stuff up high like DVDs instead of finding ways to elevate our furniture (Thankfully we didn't flood).
Some of those feelings/memories may recede as time goes on. But one thing I will always remember is how this small like community pulled together, with the outside world, to provide. Provide time, labor, money, donations, cleaning supplies, meals and our non-flooded homes. As devastating as it all was, there was also a sense of pride in being a small part of this helping community! We still have a ways to go to completely rebuild but we're getting there one day at a time.

The End of the Good

Does that title sound dramatic to anyone other than me? I couldn't figure out a better title for what's on my mind so it is what it is. Today, Aug 6, signifies the end of the Summer for us. Yes, the hot Southern temps will still be soaring (as will the humidity) but the Summer fun will be no more. It wasn't as busy of a Summer as in years past but we still did memorable things- a trip to Cali (SoCal), Houston, sleepovers, etc.. The Summer flew by and I don't feel mentally prepared to start a new school year. But tonight I will make sure lunches are packed and everything is ready to walk out the door in the morning. And tomorrow I will wake to an alarm clock for the first time in weeks. And I am not excited about any of it like I usually am.
 E is more excited about the new school year than P and I are...combined! P is nervous about starting a new school. This year he went from being our social butterfly to being an introvert almost over night. It's been a weird adjustment for me but I am trying to give him space so he can figure out when he wants to be with friends and when he wants alone time. That by itself has me worried about him starting a new school  but he'll make new friends and love his school before too long. Me however? For only the second time in my teaching career, I am not excited for the new school year. The first time was because the principal I worked for was a bully and I dreaded going to work, knowing I had a target on my back. Without going into details, I will assure you that is not the case this year. I have nothing but the utmost respect for my current principal. It's just a year that I'd be ok with being a substitute at the boys' school or a stay at home mom/photographer. But this too shall pass and when I start to get frustrated with things, I will think back on all the fun we had this Summer...and look forward to next Summer. Only 9 more months and counting!

Worrying

By nature I am not a worrier. Very rarely do I lay awake at night, worrying about things. Why? Because it's a waste of time in my opinion. Me worrying about something does not change the outcome in any way, shape, or form. That being said. there are two things I worry about more than I should. Money and weeds. Yes, you read that correctly.
The reason I think I worry about both of them is because they show my failures. There are a lot of things I am good at: being a wife, mom, teacher, photographer. Some may even say I'm a good cook, reader and singer. But the thing I am worst at, that I absolutely hate (yes, I know that "hate" is a strong word) is MATH. My mind can't wrap around numbers and I hate every minute I have to do something other than basic math facts. In fact, when I was looking for my Prince Charming I prayed for someone who was good with money, who could handle the family budget. Sadly, that's about the only thing Rob is not good at either. So I am in charge of our family budget. I worry about money because I am not good at math. So, every paycheck, I budget and every paycheck I seem to cut us short. It's a sign-in my eyes-as failure. I don't like to fail. I don't like math. I don't like budgeting. Hence the reason I worry so much about money. Every. Single. Day.
Another thing I spend too much time worrying about is weeds. I love gardening and seeing the fruits of my labor. But I do not like snakes. And snakes like tall grass, weeds, shade....especially when the heat index is over 100 degrees. So, every Spring, the yard looks great. The flower beds are weed free. You can't see a single weed around the pool area or back fence. And then one day you go out there and they are everywhere! I have failed. I can't keep the weeds out of the flowerbeds or away from the pool no matter how many hours I spend pulling them. I try but I give into my fear of snakes, knowing the weeds will still be there come Winter when the snakes have disappeared.
This morning I woke up, checked our bank account, calculated how much money we'd have left after the bills went through and then went outside and looked at all the weeds in the backyard. Talk about a disappointing way to start the day. But then I thought of Matthew 6:25-33. Will worrying make the weeds go away or put extra money in our bank account? No! The weeds will still be there and another paycheck will come in a week, replenishing our bank account. Instead I changed my focus. I thanked the Lord that Rob made it safely out of a horrendous storm he was in this weekend...on a body of water, in his boat. I thanked the Lord for Rob's new job. Not to brag on him, but he beat out 30+ people who applied for the same job. AND it's the third job he's applied for at Entergy...and the third job he's EARNED. (I am so incredibly proud of him and his hard work!) I thanked the Lord for the little boy giggles down the hall where E and his best friend had just woken up. I thanked the Lord for our beautiful house...weeds and all. I thanked the Lord for our good health and all that He's blessed us with. And I thanked Him for my failures because they humble me. I am far from perfect and the reminders of that can be painful. But I am glad He made me the way He designed...flaws and all.

Blasting Off at Summer's End

Reality has set in. 10 days from now I will have to wake up to alarm clock. I will have to dress in something other than yoga pants and a ball cap. I will have to wear close-toed shoes instead of sandals (yuck!!).
I am always thankful that I get to spend Summers with our boys, doing fun things and making memories. This Summer hasn't been as busy as last Summer but it's been a nice mix between relaxing and fun. It's been oh so good to wake up at will, drink a HOT cup of coffee and play I Spy, Go Fish with E every morning. We have also done the fun Summer things- the water park, sleepovers, birthday parties, a football team pool party, BBQs, snowballs, VBS, family pool time, fro-yo, the movies and trips.
Our latest, and last, trip of Summer was to Texas. The boys and I crashed Rob's work trip and stayed with him a couple days. We also drove into Houston to visit the Space Center. If you have never been and are in the Houston area, I HIGHLY recommend it! We had so much fun, spending the day learning about astronauts, the ISS (That's the cool lingo for "International Space Station"), how things work in Space and aerodynamics. After leaving there we stopped at a lakefront park so the boys could get even more energy out. It's funny to me, though, that even when we do new things or pack a vacation with fun stuff, the boys' favorite thing is still the hotel pool. We were there every day and the boys loved it!
I am bummed that Summer is quickly coming to an end! It feels like our Summer break just began. But, like I said, I am glad that we made fun memories. I am glad that we have the means to travel and show the boys new places. I am glad that we get to enjoy Summer breaks!

9 Years Ago....

I don't give the past a whole lot of thought. I don't dwell on it because there's too much in today's world to think about. But, every year, on July 13th I will reflect on when P was a newborn. Why would I want to think about such a horrific time in our lives? Because of all the miracles and blessings that came out of such a horrible experience!
I don't remember all of the 3-4 day time frame when our worlds were turned upside down. I remember bits and pieces of it. I remember our pediatrician, a good friend of ours, telling us not to even go home to pack a bag but to go straight to the hospital. I remember him telling us he'd call our insurance and authorize the hospital stay because it was the best hospital around. I remember him telling us not to Google the disease he thought P had because we would not be able to cope with what we saw (to this day I've heeded his advice and have not looked up any info on it). I remember hearing on more than one occasion, "If your son gets through the next few days alive he will most likely have severe brain damage. Prepare yourself." I remember walking back to a hospital room too soon and hearing our 10 day old scream out while the doctors preformed a spinal tap on him. I remember the uncomfortable hospital chairs and sleepless nights. I remember countless tears and endless prayers.
I also remember.....
I remember our neighbors, who took charge and watched over our animals when they realized we hadn't come home from what was supposed to be a routine check up. I remember the nurses and doctors treating us like royalty. I remember the encouraging texts and phone calls. I remember my brother in law texting me the verse Isaiah 41:10, which became my lifeline ("So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.") I remember the prayer chains, people who hadn't even met our little guy, offering up prayer on his behalf. And I remember the indescribable feeling 3 days later when the doctor came in and said that, by some miracle, the disease hadn't affected P's brain and that he should make a full recovery. I remember feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted off our shoulders even though we had to closely monitor him for the first year of his life.
Why remember such a horrible time in our lives? Because I don't want to forget all the miracles. Sometimes when P is talking about a Lego invention or something he's read or an episode of American Ninja Warrior I just stop and say, "Thank You, Lord, for this miracle. Thank You that our little boy came through it all like a champ." There are some things in life that are worth remembering because of the good that came from it all. And this is one of those things I'll never forget...and will always be thankful for the outcome!

Blessed

As I drifted off to sleep last night it was far from silent in our house. P was listening to music on his Google device. Rob was talking to a co-worker about a job he had interviewed for. E and one of his friends were discussing football cards in his room. I laid there, listening to it all, taking in how blessed I am. Growing up, we had a "Leave It To Beaver" life. It wasn't perfect, just like our lives aren't today, but it was good. No it was great. My brother and I always had friends over. My mom fed countless mouths. It seemed our guest room usually had a guest in it. Our house was full and so was our hearts. As an adult, I wanted that same thing. One day when I had kids I wanted to be the "go-to" house. When Rob and I bought this house one thing that attracted us was the pool. We knew that if we had a pool it'd be where all the kids wanted to be. Our pool hasn't been used as much this Summer as it had been last year, but last night, when I was making dinner I realized that my dream came true. I was feeding two extra mouths. At bedtime I was putting an extra boy to sleep on a makeshift bed. We have become my childhood home. I can't count how many extra mouths I have fed since we bought our house a year and a half ago....some invited, some last minute. There have been times when I've scrambled to change and wash the sheets before the next guest arrived. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Another blessing that I never take for granted is that I have the luxury of being a part time working mom, meaning I'm always home with the boys. Yesterday I took P to the doctor for a wellness visit. Then we met friends for CFA's Cow Appreciate Day and topped it off with a trip to the local water park. I didn't have to drop them off at a Summer camp so I could rush off to work. I didn't have to leave directions for a babysitter or nanny so I could do a 9-5 job. I get to make memories with our boys. Some days we meet with friends. Other days we run errands. And some days we just lay low at home. But we get to spend our days together and I love it! And during the school year, I get to take the boys to school, listening to the Bobby Bones Show on the radio. I sit in carpool in the afternoon, eagerly awaiting to hear about their day. It's nothing I take for granted. I know I am blessed to have the life we have.
Our life is far from perfect- Rob and I bicker, the boys bicker, the dog runs off, money gets tight. But I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. I will gladly feed extra mouths and scramble to find extra room for people to sleep. I will gladly wash extra dishes (OK, Rob usually does that part!) and extra laundry to open our house to friends, family and even strangers. I am blessed and I am happy!

The Big 9

Earlier this week, our baby turned 9. This was a hard birthday for me and Rob. For me it was hard because this is the last year he'll be in the single digits...for the rest of his life. For Rob it was hard because he's now halfway to 18, adulthood. This Summer I have watched him go between childhood and teenage behavior. He's becoming more reserved. He likes to spend time in his loft, listening to music and reading or building elaborate Lego vehicles. Other times he'll use his imagination to come up with Ninja Warrior courses or think up jokes. He still likes to ride his bike with his neighborhood friend, chase lightning bugs and jump in the pool at full speed. I hold on to these childhood moments because I know they are fleeting. I cherish the times that he gets excited and talks my ear off about whatever grabbed his excitement because I have a feeling that soon he'll be subdued, limiting his childhood excitement.
This year his birthday celebration was a little more "grown up" as well. We opted out of a big elaborate party this year. He had a neighborhood friend spend the night and then we celebrated at a local trampoline park. Since he is into America Ninja Warrior right now, he loved the trampoline park obstacle courses. He chose to have a cookie cake and wanted Little Caesars pizza for his meal. He was given quite a bit of money for his birthday gifts so he used it to buy a ginormous beanbag and a couple Lego sets. This is the first year that I felt that he really thought about using his birthday money wisely, choosing things that would last. (Just another sign that he's growing up!) Although it was a low key birthday celebration, it was a lot of fun. Full of priceless memories. A birthday I soon won't forget because my baby is growing up way faster than I'm ok with!

Fun in the Sun

If money grew on trees I would spend it on one thing.....traveling. I love to travel! So it's no surprise that I spend school breaks traveling with my family. I love exploring new places and showing the boys the beautiful nation in which we live. Someday, when they get ready to move out on their own, I would like them to choose a place to live based on personal knowledge and experience.
That's why I was THRILLED when my parents graciously offered to pay for us to go to San Diego with them when we were in Cali for our annual Summer trip. Both boys had been there before but couldn't remember it. They LOVED it!! In fact, P said that when he's 18 he's going to move to SD and buy a room in the hotel where we stayed. We crammed a lot into the short time we were there- SeaWorld, the beach, a boat ride, a tour at my alma mater, lots of good food and time at my brother's new place. At SeaWorld both boys touched sharks and dolphins and fed sea lions. P also sat in the "Soak Zones" and got drenched at the sea lion show. We watched military ships come in and out of the bay from our hotel balcony. We also watched a pod of dolphins and a playful sea lion right across from our hotel room, in the bay. The whole time spent in Cali was filled with fun times and priceless memories but our time in SD will always be a very special memory of our trip!
One thing I love about CA is that there is so much to do...and it's not 1000 degrees! Every time we spend time with my parents we do different things. This time we took my dad's new boat out on the lake, panned for gold (and walked around an old mining town in the foothills), went bowling and the boys camped in the backyard with my dad. One of our favorite things we enjoyed doing was painting rocks for the Rock Garden at the local park. We would walk over with our decorated rocks and choose ones other people had painted. Who knew something so simple could be so much fun?
Having my parents come for a visit and then our trip to Cali was a great way to start our Summer break! Next stop? TX in a few weeks!! Yay for Summertime travels!

10 years

Hard to believe that in two days we will be married 10 years! To celebrate, we spent several days in the Ozarks. My parents graciously took the boys back with them for the week and Rob and I drove a million miles (maybe a LITTLE less) to enjoy time together. Our first stop was the Branson/Springfield area where we went to the Bass Pro Headquarters. From there we headed down south a little to Eureka Springs, where we spent the rest of our time at a cute little cottage/treehouse "resort". The place went above and beyond to make our anniversary stay with them a personalized one. A "Happy Anniversary" sign hung in the corner of the room. A snack basket and personal note was waiting for us when we arrived. If you ever find yourself in the Eureka Springs area, we highly recommend staying at the Oak Cottages/Treehouses.
Our trips usually take on a "theme" and this one was no different. But, I can't decide if the theme was "Fire Towers", "Myrtie Mae" or "Dodging Wildlife". In the small town of Eureka Springs, there are three 100 foot fire towers. (Well, one may have been 50 ft.) We climbed all of them. One of them we went on a 4 mile hike to get to. And one of them we went up twice. One of them we paid to go up but the gate wouldn't open for Rob so he had to climb the fence to access the fire tower staircase. All of them provided a beautiful scenic view. Myrtie Mae was another favorite of ours. It was a great little restaurant that we went to every morning, except for this morning (and only because they weren't open when we left town). Our waitress for two of the mornings is a sweet elderly lady that has been working there since 1975! The last theme, "Dodging Wildlife" started on our way up to Branson when a cute little deer tried to write his own death sentence by running in front of our car. Thankfully, Rob was driving and he was able to spare the deer's life...and my car. One of the days we were there we went kayaking. I have always been fearful of snakes but in recent years it has gotten worse. I fear them the most when I'm in the water. So, needless to say, I was scared of tipping over in the kayak and being bit by a snake. Rob assured me- more than once- that the water we were in was too cold for snakes. But, about a mile up the river, right in front of us, we watched as a guy got bit by a water snake. I was in shock and Rob couldn't believe the odds that it had taken place right in front of us. The third time we dodged wildlife wasn't at traumatic. A little red fox ran out in front of my car and once again Rob was able to dodge it, sparing its life.
The main reason that we were in Eureka Springs was because Rob has wanted to take me to see the Great Passion Play since we moved here. I am so glad that we saw it. It's another thing I recommend if you're in the Eureka Springs area. It's not that expensive and it is well put together, a very powerful performance!
I loved everything we did but two of my favorite things were kind of last minute. First I discovered this breath-taking little chapel about a mile from where we were staying. I wish I would've found it earlier so we could've gone to church there Sunday. It was so peaceful and reverent. I could spend a lot of quiet time there. Another thing I loved was a trail ride we went on our last day there. I got this big, sweet, gentle old gelding named Casper. I have never been so comfortable on the back of a horse, even when he was trotting up the hills. I am so glad I put my anxiety behind me so I could enjoy horseback riding through the Ozarks.
Between the hike, the fire towers, the delicious food (other than the buffet at the Great Passion Play, which I do NOT recommend to anyone), the cottage, kayaking and horseback riding it was the perfect way to spend our 10 year anniversary! The hills and wildflowers were endless. The scenery was beyond gorgeous. It was the perfect backdrop for both adventures and relaxation. We created fun memories to last a lifetime!

                                    

Thorncrown Chapel

Strong

Sometimes being a parent means you have to be strong even when you don't think you can. It means putting on a brave face to calm your children's fears/concerns. Today I had to be that parent. The boys are currently 30k feet up in the sky, flying to Cali with my parents. It's the first time we've been away from them for more than a few days and definitely the furthest we've ever been away from them. So it's natural to feel lost, out of control, even a tad lonely. I am used to the boys being within a few hundred yards of me. We do everything together over the Summer.
But not for the next week. You know what got me through the goodbyes this morning? Knowing they were in good hands....and modern technology.
My mom told me that I flew with my aunt to see my grandparents when I was E's age. But back then there wasn't cell phones, Internet, FaceTime or texting (gasp!!). I don't know how my parents did it. In the two hours I have been away from the boys, I have received several texts and can tell you exactly where they are up in the sky at this very minute thanks to modern technology. But my parents didn't have that way back when I made the same type of trip our boys are currently on. They just had to be strong- and pray- because sometimes that's all a parent can do.

Last Day

I woke up sad.
I woke up sad because it's the last day of school.
I woke up sad because Rob is in TX for the day.
I woke up sad because my parents aren't here.

I doubt I'll ever consider LA home but I don't regret moving here. Moving here opened my eyes to a lot of things. I feel like our boys are getting a better education here and are definitely getting more spiritually fed. The only thing I wish was different is that my parents lived closer. I miss them every day but it's days like today that it breaks my heart to have them 2500 miles away. They are the "poster child" of awesome grandparents. They go above and beyond to let our boys know that they are loved. They send packages weekly with little goodies to let them know they are thinking of them. They text, call and email several times a week to let the boys know they are loved.
And it's times like this that I have no doubt that they'd practically live with us just so they didn't miss out on important events.
Both boys have school events today and E has another one Thursday. He also has t-ball games starting up. I know my parents would be here with bells on, cheering on the boys, encouraging them, showering them with love. Despite the miles that separate us, our boys have a special bond with my parents. But it still breaks my heart that I'll be the only one in the audience for both of our boys today. They will not having a cheering squad because my parents can't be here. So I will cheer loudly. I will encourage them with everything I've got. I will shower the boys with more love than they know is possible. And soon my parents will be here to love on them as only grandparents can.

End of Year Blues

P and I love listening to the Friday Dance Party on the way to school each week. It's our thing. This past Friday I pulled up in the carpool line and dared him to "floss" (A new dance craze for all of you unaware of the latest trends. It does not require real dental floss nor teeth.). He did the dance and I was laughing hysterically as one of the teachers joined in on the fun. But, as I was pulling away it hit me that that was the last Friday I would ever pull up to that specific school to drop P off during the Friday Morning Dance Party. The last Friday that Ms. Wendy will say hi to "Peyton" and join the dance party. And I teared up.
Usually I look forward to the end of the school year. I usually count down the days. Not this year. I am actually dreading it. Because it means two things. It means that E will no longer be a "baby". He will be in "big kid" school, where he'll be going full days (something he'll struggle with). And...P will be transferring to a new school.
Usually I am good with change. But this time I'm not. I love his current school. I love the teachers, the staff, the daily bell schedule. I love it all. I know the new school he is going to next year is as good or better (from what people tell me). But I'm still struggling with P going to a new school.
Tomorrow, on his last day at his current school, we will both be fighting back tears. When he is called forward to receive his awards, I won't embarrass him by shedding any tears. But I can't make any guarantees as I pull away from his school for the last time tomorrow. Tomorrow is the start of all new beginnings.....

Mother's Day

Mother's Day and my birthday...the two days out of the entire year that I like to be selfish. I want to feel more loved and appreciated than I do the other 363 days of the year. This year was probably my best Mother's Day to date. Rob told me to take the weekend off and relax and he'd do anything I asked him to do around the house. Now, that's not my MO, so I still did some laundry and fixed a couple meals. But he folded the laundry, washed the dishes, swept the floors. You know....all the stuff I don't like doing. The boys spoiled me as well. They gave me a beautiful card (as did Rob) and some flowers to plant. E, being E, gave me one of his prized baits. To anyone else, that'd be equivalent to giving someone a pot of gold. He also gave me a McDonald's Happy Meal squirt gun. P made me a note with a picture that said, "I love you because you take time out of your day to play with me." It made me feel good. Made me feel like they notice the things I do right more than the mistakes I make as a mom. After church we went to lunch at one of my favorite places, where I was given a rose. Then we lounged by the pool, got snowballs and went to the park to play a family game of t-ball. Throughout the day, Rob would tell me the reasons why he thought I am an amazing mom or the reasons why he loves me. It was a PERFECT day and I felt so loved/appreciated!
I, too, tried to make my mom's Mother's Day as special as I could without physically being with her. The boys chose a card for her that we all signed (other than Rob because I was racing to the post office to make sure I got it mailed in time). I called her and texted her to let her know I was thinking of her. But, our gift to her was a flop. I pre-ordered a book from her favorite author only to find out that she had already done the same thing. It works out, however, because it means I cancelled the order and we get to have a Mother/Daughter date in a couple weeks instead. Those are my favorites. I love spending 1:1 time with my mom because, over the years, she has become more than just my mom. She has become my friend. When we spend time together we talk, share secrets, reminisce, laugh and bond. It's a time I don't take for granted.
Moms are important. Not every child is blessed with a mom like mine. Sadly, we saw that yesterday while waiting to get snowballs. But moms are often not appreciated as much as they deserve. Their job is 24hrs a day some days (newborns/sick kids). Some moms do it alone. (My hat's off to single moms because it's all kinds of hard!) I am thankful that I have Rob. We have formed s strong team. We don't always see eye to eye and we're far from perfect. But I know he cherishes me and the kind of mom I am. That makes all the difference some days. So, please take time out of your day- not just on Mother's Day- to let moms know that you appreciates them: the moms who sacrifice, the moms who listen, the moms who play, the moms who provide, the moms who fill the role of mom and dad, the moms who guide, the moms who love you unconditionally. A little love goes a long way!

Happiest Place on Earth

You probably thought I had forgotten about our blog, didn't you? Well, between teaching, photography, soccer season, church and life in general I kind of did. But now I'm on Spring Break, the boys asked for a day at home to "rest" (ie play with their neighborhood friends) and I have a few minutes in between cleaning and photography stuff to blog.

So....when you picture the perfect family vacation what do you picture? For me it's a stress free time full of laughter and priceless memories. That's what our recent family vacation to Disney was. At the recommendation of friends, we stayed on the Disney property. The hotel room itself was far from fancy but the resort was so much fun- a couple pools, a football field, an arcade, ping pong tables. You name it, it had it. A kid's paradise. In fact, between you and me, I think the boys would've been perfectly happy if we had just stayed at the resort because there was so much stuff to do. But, since it was E's first Disney experience we dragged them to the theme parks. The first day, at Animal Kingdom, E wasn't so brave. He didn't want to go on any rides and I think it's safe to say that "It's a Bug's Life" scarred both boys for life. The second day we ventured to Magic Kingdom, where E became super brave. He rode on all but one ride, his favorite being Gumbo (or for the rest of the world, Dumbo). That was our last ride of the day because we were so tired. But I bet if we would've started the day on that ride we would've ridden it 20 times.
The weather was perfect both days. There was no stress about money because I had budgeted the correct amount. Rob and I compromised and worked as a team. We, as a family, got a lot of laughs...sometimes at the expense of another family member. (Like when I dropped an unopened bottle of Coke and it EXPLODED all over the people in line behind us or when Rob tripped over a curb playing tag with P or when both boys were screaming louder than the "It's a Bug's Life" movie that they didn't want to watch any more of it.)
When I look back on our vacation, that's what I'll remember. Sure, I'll remember the hot air balloon ride that we took or the lunch we had at the T-Rex Café (where E thought he was eating dinosaur fossils when he ordered the baby back ribs) or the safari we did at Animal Kingdom or the teacups ride at Magic Kingdom. But, even more than that I'll remember the belly laughs Rob and I shared on the drive home. I'll remember the look of excitement on E's face as we rode the bus to the theme parks. I'll remember the yelps of excitement that P let out when he saw the resort football field. Because, to me, that's what made the vacation better than great. It made it about as perfect as one vacation could get!