Overcoming Fear

I believe that knowledge is power. However, I've been too scared to find out about Preston's virus for the past 7 months, always worrying that it'll rear its ugly head again. I felt that by researching it memories of that horrible 2 weeks would flood my mind. I prayed about it, asking the Lord to save me from the heartbreak that it had already brought once. Today I overcame that fear since I am guardedly optimistic that he is pretty much out of the woods with a recurrence during his first year. When Preston was taking his nap, I googled the virus and found more info than I could handle. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I read how a 21 year old mother lost her baby to the same virus. Another mother had her baby in ICU after only having her baby home for 4 days. She was told that her baby was most likely going to have central nervous system damage....if it survived. The thing I kept reading over and over again is how RARE it is for babies to have the virus. In fact, our pediatrician has only dealt with this twice in 13 years (Preston and another boy who didn't have a good outcome). My doctor that delivered Preston had never dealt with it in the 5 years she'd been practicing. All this info just made me realize, even more than we already do, how blessed we are to have gotten through this ordeal with such a normal, healthy baby boy. He's hitting all his developmental milestones, either early or on time, something we were told may not happen. He brings us so much hope and joy and laughter and love every day, beyond what I could ever put into words!!!